Memories
by Rac'coon12
Summary: Post Alvarez Arc: What happens when Gray wants to take Juvia's feelings more seriously but she falls victim to a spell that extinguishes almost all her memories - of her past, of Fairy Tail, of her friends and of course - of Gray. [Gruvia] Gray.F. Juvia.L.
1. At the wrong time

**I just got so excited and the idea of a really thrilling story came up my mind. I had to start this one. I have it all concocted in my head - I just need to put it down into words and do it properly. My own heart aches a bit by the thought of how the story will develope. So be prepared for love, drama and a little bit smut.**

 **The plot takes place from 545 onwards. Gray wants to take Juvia's feelings more seriously but is interrupted by the fact that both of them have to work on some jobs that need to be done after war. Not returning healthy after one of those Juvia falls victim to a spell that extinguishes almost all her memories - of her past, of Fairy Tail, of her friends and of course - of Gray.**

 **Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter One: At the wrong time**

* * *

 **Present**

When we first met I'd never imagined that we'll grow together the way we did. Juvia Lockser was the most annoying, affectionate and unpredictable person I knew. She'd always tell me I was some kind of a savior for her and that she'll always love me for some bullshit girly reasons I never understood. That I cleared up her gloomy and rainy being and she will thank me for that for the rest of her life. In fact she was the one that saved me. She took away my anger and coldness. Until I thought it was all for nothing.

 **Two years earlier**

 **February**

"Gray-sama, you promised to stay for at least two days! How is Juvia able to recover properly if she cannot even see her beloved at all?" Juvia panted at the other end of the line and Gray could imagine too well what her face would look like - ballooned ckeeks and mock upset eyes.

"I'm sorry, look. It's gonna be over in a wink. And after that, I'll take you out, ok?" Gray really wished to do so. Spending time with Juvia after going through hell. Losing her, fighting Invel, attacking his best friend, then the final boss Acnologia. Him and the other mages were so exhausted - he couldn't spend time with her more than one hour. And Gray wanted to be around her, talk wo her, prove his intensions. He needed to tell her... Well, what exactly would he tell her? She confessed her love for him like a million times. Was it love for him as well? Could he even spell the three freaking words? What Gray knew was that the moment he thought Juvia died in his arms he was feeling painfully tormented. Images of their past, of mutual memories and him rejecting her most of the time haunted him in between seconds. It tore something apart Gray didn't know existed inside his heart. And he raged. He sod with anger. Not only did she sacrifice herself for him. He also tried the same with no hesitation. And it meant something. Something big. At least those thoughts Gray wanted to share with Juvia. And that he accepted her affection. And that he'd try to show her he really cared for her in a, yes, romantic way. It sounded absurd in his ears but that was how he felt: rediculously atteched to Juvia Lockser.

"Hmm...fine", Juvia snorted, "but it's a promise!"

"Ok, I'll call or see you whe-"

"You have to promise! Say it!", Juvia commanded.

"Yeah, yeah, I promise. So, see you around."

"You better... love you. Bye!" The last part was lovelier again and she always paid attention to say it in a tender way.

"Bye."

 _Beep._

It was Juvia who ended the call. She knew him enough to know he wouldn't respond to her daily confession but it didn't bother her.

Gray took care of his packing for his mission and got dressed (not that he would keep his clothes on for too long but hey, it's the thought that counts). Along with his teammates they were assigned to convoy the transportation of injured to Crocus for better treatment and on their way back they should haul goods and medicine for Magnolia. Pretty easy, but after all it must be done. They all had to bear their crosses in order to reconstruct what war had caused.

As said, the mission went easy-peasy and on their forth day Team Natsu was already on their way back home, only a puddle jump away from their home Fairy Tail.

"Haaa...I soooo want to take a long and hot bath when we get back", Lucy exhales while stretching her arms and back.

"Hell yes, let's take a bath together Lucy and have some fatty food. Whaddya say Happy?!", Natsu was all fired up hearing about Lucy's plans and Happy nodded in agreement.

"No way! I can't see your face no more. I need a break." Lucy sighed and holded her head in both her hands.

"Well, I bet someone else is having a hot bathing time the moment he gets home." Gray winced at that and Erza made sure she emphasized it as much as to hit the nail.

The group was now looking at Gray expectantly and waited for a rejoinder. However, Gray wanted the topic to veer off on its own and proceeded to walk as if he'd heard nothing. But he didn't contemplate Erza's devilish persistence.

"Juvia must be bursting to see her _Gray-sama_ again." Erza smirked succesfully and Gray started to blush.

"Of course she does, that's just her character." Natsu certainly did not unederstand that Erza was referring to Gray's and Juvia's progress in their relationship. Lucy on the other hand chatched it all too well and chuckled.

"Are the two of you dating now, _officially_?", Lucy pressed Gray. He had told her that he needed to talk and apologize to her adequately during their last fight and by looking at his face Lucy concluded something must have happend to his emotional state.

"Shut up, all of you. It's none of your business!", Gray speeded up in order to flee from their bothersome interrogation.

Natsu who's not interested in Gray's love life at all started to pester Lucy again about what they would do as soon as they arrived _their_ aka Lucy's home. Erza was now in two minds. Either mess with Lucy and Natsu's embarrassing oh-so-obvious-teasing-in-a-sign-of-affection-demeanor or intervene in Gray's privacy. She leant toward the latter and cought up with Gray.

"But seriously, what's going on? You can tell me, you know that." Erza tried to create an appealing atmosphere for Gray to open up.

"..." Didn't go as planned, though. Gray avoided her look and Erza as well parted her gaze from his face.

"Really, that's all I get? I'm dissapointed." Erza stuck her nose up in the air, partly arrogant partly hurt for not being esteemed as a trustworthy friend in that matter.

"I wouldn't call it dating if that's what you mean."

"But you're more earnest now, right?"

Of course he was. The last time he met Juvia he invited her over. It was a short reunion but better than not seeing her at all. She took a break on rebuilding social sercive providers for children in need such as orphans. And he was lucky to have an interval between his duties as well. They shared a snack Juvia prepared at his place. At first the room was filles by an awkward ambiance. Their conversation went superficial with questions such as _how-was-your-day_ or _what-are-your-plans-tomorrow_ when it was clear to the both of them that they wouldn't get the chance to spend time with each other. Although they were sitting in front of each other they could hardly look in each other's eyes. Juvia didn't want to provoke Gray by saying annoying nonsense and Gray just didn't know what to say at all. The time they finished Juvia made her way to the sink and started to wash the dishes. Gray remained in his chair and studied her movements. He observed each and every detail of Juvia's body. Her by this time very long curly hair, her close-fitting top and skirt that accentuated her curves, mostly her breasts and hips, her soft and almost fragile looking arms that took care of the work, her pale skin...

He had to remember the events of their fight till death and how he held her motionless body in his arms. Her skin went paler each second as life left her. Gray immediately wagged his head in order to shake off the memories. This moment was supposed to be relaxt. He wanted to make each minute count. So he got off his seat, walked over to Juvia and took her in a tight embrace from behind. He crossed his arms around her upper body and she startled at his sudden action. " _Gray-sama?"_ Juvia waited for an explanation and got one shortly after. _"I just want to hold you for a moment."_ In response she grabbed his arms with her own and leaned into his hug. She bowed her head to the left and Gray lowerd his in the gab between her neck andher shoulder. Whether a few seconds or minutes passed - they couldn't tell. But Gray eventually turned Juvia around and placed his lips on hers. He didn't spare a thought about it - he just did. His right hand was holding her cheek and his left one pulled her closer by her waist.

Their first contact lastet for an eternity. Gray's lips touched her top lip and Juvia's kissed his bottom lip. Still a little in shock Juvia couldn't manage to react properly. Her hands grazed his upper arms but that was as far as she went. It was Gray's lead. He decided to pull away. And it was also him who longed for another kiss after they exchanged a brief eye contact. This time he leaned to the right for a deeper and more intimate kiss. Juvia let herself in for his decision and did the same. She moved her right hand to his neck and the other one around his shoulders. Gray was still holding her waist with his left arm and supported her backwith the remaining one. It was that second kiss when they swapped tongue junction. Soft and slowly and passionate which made Juvia moan a few times as well as Gray.

When Gray pulled back ultimately they stared at each other's eyes again - Juvia still keeping his neck and Gray grabbing her waist. Their faces were flushed and their breathing a bit heavier than before. Gray scrutinized her face but didn't know what words to choose. So instead he leant forward until both their foreheads touched. His eyes closed and he was sure Juvia's did the same. It was their first intimate intercourse and Gray planned to have many more in the future. It felt right, it felt good and he started to get addicted in that very moment. Considering whether to continue or to give her a little break Gray reminded himself that they wouldn't have much time for that the next weeks. Therefore he suggested to move to his bedroom. Juvia abruptly stammered and was irritated but he only meant for them to lie in his bed. They lay there, cuddling, kissing and getting to know their bodies a bit.

They were definitely making progress in their relationship.

A little pause later and back to reality Gray added a faint " _yeah"._

"It was about damn time! She affects you, in the most positive way, you know?"

"You think so?"

"I'm absolutely sure! Just don't mess it up. The two of you deserve to be at peace at last."

Erza could be a brutal badass when on the fields but deep down she was a caring and profound person.

"I won't."

* * *

Arriving at his apartment Gray was surprised of how tired he actually was. It was mainly just walking and carrying, no fighting, no dangerous stunts whatsoever. But his body must had been still influenced by the effects of his deep wounds that needed time to fully heal. He smashed his bag on his sofa and took off his clothes - only remaining his underpants.

He recognized a red light blinking and checked his lacrima phone for missed calles and messages. He turned on the loudspeaker so that he could make a sandwich in the meantime. While buttering the slices he listened to his first message.

"Gray, where are you. You're late. Get your ass right here...[blah blah *foul language*...blah blah]

It was a message by Erza from the day they left. He was only five minutes late and of course he couldn't get the call as he already headed out. _Tzzz. Erza flipping out even before the mission had started_... he thought.

"Shit!" Not paying attention to his work Gray accidentally dirtied himself up with mayonnaise. His eyes met his sink and lowered halfway.

"Oh common..." So typical Gray, he didn't take care of his dishes and had to go to his bathroom to clean himself up. During that he overheard another message he got on his phone.

 _"Gray-sama? It's Juvia! Juvia's been asked to join Cana on a mission. Juvia hasn't heard anything from you yet. Please call Juvia when you're back. The mission starts tomorrow, but we need to get off quite early in the morning. And it's a long one. Juvia only accepted because Gray-sama seems to be very busy lately and Juvia gets bored easily. If you're back until tonight, Juvia can still cancel. Cana has a replacement in case Juvia wants to stay with Gray-sama. Juvia misses you and is looking forward to finally meet you again, Gray-sama! Love you."_

Gray returned to the kitchen when the voice mail had already ended. He finished his sandwich, watched some silly series in the TV and went to bed moments later. He didn't care for a shower nor contacting his not-girlfriend-girfriend. That could wait until tomorrow.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it. And hopefully you're curious about the next chapter.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	2. Why

**Thanks for your support so far!**

 **Stay curious, I'll try my best to keep you in line!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima!**

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Why**

* * *

 **Present:**

That day, that morning, was the beginning of the end. If only I had known better. If only I had kept my promise - to contact her the moment I got home. Things would have turned out so differently. Juvia would still be Juvia. Me would still be me. But as always - I kept her waiting. And we changed. I was a fool and I will never forgive myself for getting us into that mess. Not that I didn't deserve any of it. I did. I do. I'll always will. But Juvia didn't deserve any of that.

 **Two years earlier**

 **February**

 _'Yaaawn!'_ It was way too early for Gray to wake up. He tossed and turned and tried his best to fall back to sleep. But it's always like this, right? The more you try the harder it gets. After several times of counting sheep anf finding the perfect sleeping position he gave up. Looking at his nightstand clock Gray grunted in frustration. ' _Oh Mavis, what is this shit? Am I not allowed to sleep late?'_ 06:53 am was not the time he hoped to read. However, he got up eventually. _'Fuck, who cares. Get up, drink some milk, go back to sleep!'._ Maybe some sips of refreshment would help him find his peace again for a longer snooze. So, Gray walked over to his kitchen and opened his fridge, reached for a milk carton and started to drink - well he intended to. But what was left in the carton were barely a few drops. Best. Morning. Ever. His lids fell down, his lips murmured and Gray looked at his white friend of betrayal dissatisfied. _'Great. You should have listened to Juvia when she offered to look after your apartment, Gray!. Juvia always knew what's best for you. Juvia - she... Juvia! Thinking of the devil!'._

Gray roamed around his place to find his phone. He could ask her over. She'd accept keenly and stop by with some treats for early breakfast (and she would wash up the dishes no matter Gray's intervention). If she was awake that is. The moment he found his phone the Ice Mage texted his _girlfriend_ a simple _I'm-back-wanna-come-over-when-you're-awake?_ and waited. He sat down on his sofa and stared at his phone for a reply to receive. He read her name several times at the top of his messengers. Gray smiled at the thought of her. He was gone for a couple of days and actually _missed_ her. Kissing her, touching her, caressing her - it was all very pleasant. He enjoyed each and every contact with her and started to become addicted to her. How could he manage to live for six fucking months along her sexy curves and not doing anything to Juvia's body?

While debauching in images of her guild mark on her thigh, her full breast and other parts he liked to grope he kept waiting for an answer. One minute. Ten minutes. Thirty freakin' minutes. Of course she wouldn't answer. If it wasn't for his insomnia he'd be drowsing in his bed, too. Gray surrendered. Taking a shower, cleaning up his messy apartment and doing some basic shopping would kill time and he'd pay Juvia a visit afterwards.

So far, so good. But Juvia was nowhere to be found. Not her place, not the parks she liked to stroll around and apparently not at Fairy Tail. She hadn't answered his text either. So where was she?

' _Come on Juvia, you're a leech. Come out of hiding!'_

The last work she'd been up to was restoring that orphanage, right? Maybe she was there. On his way through the streets Gray was mentally absent and he didn't recognize his name being called several times. It was until someone grabbed his shoulder from behind that he sensed his surroundings again. He turned around and was face to face to a small familiar blue haired friend.

"Levy. Hey, what's up?" Levy did't give Gray that sweet smile she usually gave but pouted with her eyes wide open.

"I shouted for you like five times! Anyway, Lucy called me. Since you're back she suggested to celebrate a bit. Like, after the war and all that rebuilding - it's time to finally commemorate that we're all safe and sound!" She was right. It had been a tough time ever since.

"Yeah, sounds great!" Sure, some party for a change sounds like fun. But Gray had another mission yet fo fulfill. Finding his object of desire.

"Say, do you know where Juvia is?"

"She went on that overseas mission with Cana. Didn't she tell you?" Levy cocked her head in surprise.

Everyone already knew that the Ice and the Water Mage had _something_ going on. And that they started to act more intimately and romantically towards another. Well Gray-like romantically. Compared to his normal behavior outsiders thought something had changed. At least he didn't struggle against Juvia's clingy hugs as cloyed as he used to. And sometimes Gray got caught flirting with Juvia and both of them blushed ultimately. But as much as they tried to talk to one another - never had she ever mentioned she'd go on a mission with Cana. And for that reason stay away from him for much longer.

"She what? No!" _'On a mission? Without telling me? OVERSEAS?! WTF Juvia!'_

* * *

"So, Juvia and Cana are going to meet our companion when we reach the port of Bellatrica?". Cana didn't tell too much about the upcoming mission. Only that it would require the traveling overseas to the Kingdom of Stella and that missing girls were involved. Since the incidents took place near the coast (a seaport named Bellatrica) Cana thought of a Water Mage as a suitable company. The mission sounded rather easy, provisions would be taken care of, the remuneration was high. But moreover - Bellatrica was famous for its whiskey. It was hard to get it in Magnolia and Fiore overall and even if you'd find a rare shop to scavenge a bottle - it was frightfully expensive. Cana HAD to take the job.

"Yes, and then we'll scour the area for any evidence for the missing girls. Sounds like a piece of cake. I bet the causes behind are some perverted smugglers or robbers. Maybe with no magic talent at all. But the mayor wanted to play it safe - just in case."

"Juvia's really excited! It's been a while since she took a mission with Cana!".

The women held eye contact and Juvia seemed to really be enthusiastic. But Cana had her doubts.

"You're sure you wanna come along? I mean, not seeing Gray for so long?"

"Juvia will be fine. Gray-sama's still on his own mission. Juvia will have a lot of time with Gray-sama when we get back."

"Talking of Gray, how's it going? Making any advances?" Cana smirked at that, hoping Juvia would tell her about some smut.

"Well...Gray-sama kissed Juvia..." Blushed by sweet memories, Juvia lowered her head a bit.

"That son of a bitch. Finally!" Cana almost yelled her rapture.

"Cana!"

"What?! I'm on your side. Damn Gray. He let you wait way too long."

"Juvia is happy the way things turned out. Gray-sama always has his reasons."

"Your're way too thoughtful. But hey, as long as you're happy, I'm happy for you, too."

"Thanks, Cana."

"Youn know, it's fun to be on a mission with you, Juvia. I'm excited, too. We take the boat, accomplish it as quickly as possible and then we have free time for whatever pub we want to paint red!"

* * *

Mirajane and Lucy did a really good job on preparing the upcoming event. It got around in a heartbeat that Fairy Tail was going to hold a party. It was damn time to rejoice over the people's health, their wellbeing and peace all in all. Every single one assembled and had a good time - except for two missing mages. It was rather ironic that on the day of bender by the liter Cana was absent. It should have been her duty to get her friends sloshed. Particulary Gray would have appreciated it. Watching Gajeel and Levy acting all lovey-dovey? Annoying. Listening to Natsu and Lucy's embarrassing squabbling? Annoying! Bearing a boozed up Erza who bosses everybody around? No thanks!

Gray hid himself away the best he could and recognised an unremarkable courner where no one should bother him. Sitting down, sipping at his bottle of beer he leaned his head on his right hand and itended to watch the scene in an outlying position.

Think again, Gray! It's Fairy Tail and all of your friends ignore your urge for personal space. Shortly after escaping the hubbub he was followed by Mirajana. As caring as always she immidiately noticed Gray's disgruntled mood.

"Gray, what's the matter? You seem upset." She set down next to him shyly and gave him an uncertain smile.

"Nothing." Gray avoided their eye contact and took another sip.

"Gray?" Mira asked in a high voice and arched her eyebrows hopefully.

"..."

"Is it because someone's not here at the moment? Someone with blue hair and-"

"Yeah, yeah, you can stop. It just sucks that Juvia didn't tell me she was leaving. No message, no call. If it was me she'd pester me with whining non-stop."

"I don't think that's the case... I actually saw her calling you and maybe leaving a voice mail?"

"I checked." He did, didn't he? He listened to his mailbox. Or maybe... "Well, I think I... Gimme a sec." Gray made his excuses and went outside to really have his privacy. He grabbed his phone and put on his last voice mails again.

"Gray, where are you, (...)" ' _That's Erza's shrill shouting.'_

 _'Holy shit, there really is another one.'_

"Gray-sama? It's Juvia! Juvia's been asked to join Cana on a mission. Juvia hasn't heard anything from you yet. Please call Juvia when you're back. The mission starts tomorrow, but we need to get off early in the morning. And it's a long one. Juvia only accepted because Gray-sama seems to be very busy lately and Juvia gets bored easily. If you're back until tonight, Juvia can still cancel. Cana has a replacement in case Juvia wants to stay with Gray-sama. Juvia misses you and is looking forward to finally met you again, Gray-sama! Love you"

Gray opened his eyes wide and in shock. _'There you go, you idiot'._ Her message. It was there. And he was too tired and lazy to call her that night. Gray grunted. It was his own stupidity that was responsible for his sullen vein. He went around in a circle and weighed what to do. She didn't get any call he effected. So getting in contact with her during the mission was out of options. Should he go back and drown his problems in alcohol? Maybe. Should he go home and leave it at that? He didn't know. Maybe a bit of both. First some spirit, then head home and starting tomorrow distracting himself with missions as well. She'd be gone for quite a time, right? He would just do the same.

* * *

Shipping to Bellatrica was rather unbent. Cana basked in the sun most of the time and Juvia just enjoyed herself being surrounded by the open seas. She liked to lean against the fiddle, close her eyes and breathe in the salty smell of sea air. Yes, the girls kind of had the time of their life after battling in war. That was how life was supposed to be. And the best of all - they were being payed to do this easy mission that felt like vacation.

In two shakes of a lamb's tail they reached the harbor town and met with the deputy of their mission's client.

"I assume you're Miss Cana and Miss Juvia? Follow me please!" A snobby, tall and scrawny man ushered them into their residence for that time. On their way to their hideout on the outskirts Cana and Juvia received a pretty good impression of Bellatrica's attractions. It was either quirky old pubs, strip clubs or fish restaurants.

"They sure know what's most important in life, huh?" Cana kept her voice in a whisper. That weird conceited jerk in front of them didn't have to hear that.

"All kinds of indulging. I like Bellatrica!" Cana held sparkling stars in her eyes and Juvia affected a laugh. This was Cana's imagination of paradise, sure. But Juvia was not as professional in handling alcohol and suchlike en masse. She got drunk easily and metamorphosed into a plaintive little crybaby over the puniest trivialities.

Half an hour later of sauntering through the unfamiliar streets Cana and Juvia arrived at their designation. They were told they would share their premises along with their mission partner. A young man called Win who was a local and a specialist for sensing magic - ideal for tracking missing people. He'd bear the Fairy Tail Mages company the next day. Therefore Juvia and Cana called it a day and went to sleep early that evening. Turning out matutinal the next morning would be advantageous for the missions success (and their remaining leisure afterwards).

As planned Win arrived the next morning. Cana attended to the door and was impressed instantly. Win was a tall, muscular hottie. Brown rather short hair gelled backwards, tattoos adorning his arms, beautiful iron blue eyes. Cana couldn't hide her affection and ogled him from top to bottom.

"Look at you, you're Win? I'm Cana, this is Juvia." Cana pointed at Juvia who was sitting on a table behind her.

"Yeah, I'm Win. It's nice to meet you." And his voice, so low, so manly, yet charming. Cana was melting.

"It's very nice to meet you, too!" She took his hand in both her hands and shook it eagerly.

Win walked in the building and took a seat next to Juvia. Cana followed. They made short eye contact, greed another and started to work. The past days that Juvia and Cana had spent on the ship Win felt kept on tenterhooks and couldn't resist doing some research on his own. He spread a map of the nearby area and pointed on some red marks he'd put on the map. Sharing his gathered knowledge Win highlighted a small circle that kept mysteries.

"You see, this is where I lost connection to all the girls' aura. Like they'd fallen off the face of earthland."

"But, there is nothing." Cana concluded.

"Maybe not on the surface. It's near the coast. There might be some subterranean way to an hideout? And Win-san lost connection to them because there is a mage creating a barrier?" Cana and Win looked up at Juvia's assumption.

"Yeah, good idea. We should definitely check on that."

"This really looks like some shitty human trafficking. How old were the girls again?" Cana was interested in more detailed information about the victims.

"Aged between fourteen and eighteen." Win seemed to be lost in thought. Juvia and Cana already knew that a person among familiar faces was missing. Could they ask him about his sister? Cana decided to approximate that subject.

"And your sister..." Win waited for some seconds. Still bemused it took him a while for responding appropriately.

"Yes, my sister, too. Her name's Aley, she's fifteen." Win's eyes constricted. His sister was a sensitive topic. And Juvia detected that reaction.

"Juvia's so, so sorry. We'll find her. And the others, too!"

"I hope so. I've heard amazing things from Fairy Tail mages. I believe in you!" It was now that Win looked up at the women and smiled lightly full of hope.

"So, let' get this over, save some cute asses and revel in Bellatrica's attractions." Cana artlessly pointed out her intensions of their mission.

* * *

Over the next days Gray took his mind off Juvia by accomplishing all sorts of missions. Most of them he'd do on his own, some of them required some help. He striked out for an old lady's stupid clawing cat that went missing. He escorted a brat of noble birth _*ugh*_ that was fussing all the time. He traced a criminal that kept harassing women nearby Magnolia. However, Gray wasn't exactly an expert in killing time while he was waiting eagerly for a special someone to return. Of course he wouldn't stop thinking of Juvia. Gray made sure not to accept any job that took longer than two days in case he could hear something about Juvia and Cana's mission.

If this was a day in a fairy tale's story one would call this particular day a sunny late wintry day. The air was filled out with a nippy but fresh haze. People on the streets greeted each other joyfully. But this was Gray's course of the day. Fitting his name it was a gray day for him. He couldn't enjoy the sun, the cold or any aspect of his daily routine. The longer he had to persevere the more impatient he became. He was frustrated. And sexually underused. And edgy altogether. Two weeks had passed and people started to call him _grumpy Gray_.

On his way to the guild to take another annoying job he ignored every single salutatory smile and marched straight up to his target. The first to welcome him was, needless to say, Mira.

"Gray! Hey..."

But something was different. Her eyes weren't as bright as normal. She stopped polishing glasses and looked rather concerned. And it wasn't only Mira that appeared to be grieved. His team was seated right in front of him. Natsu turned back to watch him but didn't say a word. No insults, no teasing. Erza wore a straight face. Lucy covered her mouth with her hands and had sorely sad eyes.

"Hey, something the matter?" ' _Had somebody died? WTF!'_

"Oh, Gray... Haven't you heard about it?" It was Mira again who spoke to him.

"About what?

"About Juvia and Cana."

"No?" The hall remained silent as if no one wanted to spread the bad tidings.

 _'Hey, don't leave me hanging here! What about Juvia? Is she ok? Had something happened?'_ Gray looked around full of expectations. Lucy then took pity on the case and got up her seat. She walked over to her teammate and took him in a squeeze.

"I'm so, so sorry, Gray. Juvia is in a coma." Gray froze. He didn't move at all. The words took their time to reach Gray's mind.

 _'Juvia. Coma. What is she saying?'_

"Gray?" Lucy parted from Gray but was still holding his shoulders. Her eyes glazed over and she waited for him to respond.

"What do you mean?" Gray continued to be slow on the uptake. Lucy's expression became more afflicted but she proceeded.

"The mission went awfully wrong. She's in the hospital. We don't know any details. You should talk to Cana. She's still in shock but she can explain the events. You should be allowed to see her."

 _'Hospital. Juvia. In a coma. Cana. What?'_

A few minutes later Gray began to realize what his friends were trying to tell. Juvia and Cana had come back from their mission. The only problem - Juvia went into a coma and Cana was almost as distant in words. Both of them were taken to hospital. And that's it. Gray had to talk to Cana himself is he claimed to get any more information.

* * *

Cana was told to stay in the hospital to survey her state of shock. Gray got to know her room number immediately and payed her a visit. Standing in front of her room he quarreled with himself whether to disturb Cana or not. She'd just arrived after all and was still marked by the events. But Gray lacked knowledge. He wanted to knowwhat was going on. Cana would understand.

 _Kock. Knock. Knock._

No answer. Could he enter nevertheless? Yes.

"Cana? It's me." Cana sat on her bed upright and turned her head left towards the door.

"Oh, Gray..." Cana comressed her lips and stratened her eyes.

"Shall I leave, can I stay?" Gray felt insecure. He didn't intend to push somebody if he or she wasn't alright.

"Yes, come in." Gray ran up to Cana's bed and stood still in front of her. _'Ok, here we go. How do I sta-'_

"I'm-" Cana disturbed his thoughts. However, she stopped promptly for a longer pause and stared at her hands.

"I'm so sorry." _'Sorry? Why are YOU sorry?'_ Cana still eluded eye contact. But Gray gauged it was best to take direct action. There was no need to beat around the bush.

"What happened?" It took her another quiet moment to organize her thoughts. She arrived at the same conclusion it was best to just spit it out.

"The job was to find the cause for girls to go missing. We supposed smugglers to be behind the crime and we were right. We rapidly found them, their stash and most of the missing girls. Juvia was of great help. Honestly, it was her work most of the time. We thought the job was almost finished, but... What we didn't expect to happen..."

Cana clenched her fists, took a deep breath and continued.

"The brains of the gang was a very powerful Black Magic user. That fucker extinguished some girls' memories in order to sell them the easiest way. He was good, really good. Juvia... she... We had kind of a showdown and that bastard imposed one of his spells directly at me. She ran between me and that guy and got hit. That spell... We saw a few girls that suffered from that same mind fucking magic - they couldn't remember anything. Not their name, not their relatives, their likings, their fears - NOTHING! Juvia... When she wakes up, if she wakes up, she..."

Time stopped for Gray. It was hard to listen to Lucy's words, but this? What was Cana aiming to say? Juvia got stung by magic that effaced the victim's experiences?

"Are you trying to say that..." Gray had to learn more. But Cana closed her eyes and settled her thoughts once again. Seconds later she spoke on.

"As soon a-as Juvia wa-", It was too hard for her to really express the words. Cana began to sob, " as she wakes up, sh-she won't know wh-who she ist. Who I am." She covered her eyes with her hands. It was way atypical for Cana to becoma emotional and tearful. This was serious. And Gray now understood the extent of that crisis.

"She wohon't know who you are or what Fair-Fairy Tail is. I'm sorry. This was not supposed to hap-pen."

Gray just stood there as Cana allowed her tears full bent. What was happening? Why? They finally lived at peace and now that!

Gray's eyes swayed up and down Cana's being. Her words hammerd in his head - over and over. Juvia got hit by a spell that deleted her memories. She wouldn't know who she is. She wouldn't know anything. Gray felt the urge to leave. To leave that poor messed up girl alone and to crawl away into a chamber where he'd be alone to deal with the setting. He didn't know how but his body indeed turned. His surroundings and his corpus dove into a world that moved in slo-mo, though.

 _'Where was the exit again? I need to get out of here!'_

His body felt like a mummy, no, like a zombie actually. At least something between alive and dead. His heart was beating, his lungs were breathing, his legs carried him towards the elevator, but Gray was hardly present in reality.

 _'Leave, Gray, you have to leave. And... then?'_ Gray waited for the elevator but did he really wanted to leave? To be alone? Juvia was here, too. He was told she was caught in a comatose condition.

 _'No, I want so see it for myself!'_

Gray searched the hallway for her name on any door's designation. She had to lie in some of these rooms. And he succeeded.

 _'Gotcha! There you are. Juvia Lockser.'_

Gray grabbed the doorknob. Yet, he hesitated to open.

' _Can I just walk in?'_ His heartbeat quickened. His hand that held the knob became shaky.

 _'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck it!'_

And he went in. His view instantly found her resting in the final bed next to the windows. Gray came closer and felt his body cool down near freezing point. Him, an Ice Mage!

She was there. Gray didn't see his girl in weeks and there she was, lying in this white sheeted bed. Juvia could just as well be sleeping. Rested enough to awake at anytime.

 _'Why?'_

Only one word. One single word that dominated Gray's brain.

 _'Why the fuck didn't I call you?'_

* * *

 **March**

 _'Four weeks. Four fucking weeks. When are you going to wake up? I need to look into your eyes. I want to see that you're still yourself. That you're alright. Please, Juvia!'_

Waiting for her to return was one thing. Knowing she was there, lying only centimeters away from him but not _being_ there was another. He could touch her, hold her hand but it was onesided. She wasn't responsive to his words nor his actions. Her comatose status was freaking Gray out. He was going nuts. Walking up and down her sickroom, annoying the infirmary's staff, being jittery as a result of too much coffee. His friends attempted to comfort him, get him to sleep and eat. But he wouldn't listen. He wanted to stay by her side. He wouldn't miss the moment she wakes up. He needed to be there.

"Hmph..." Gray really was tired. He wore dark under-eye circles on his face. He took a seat next to Juvia's bed and watched her calm and hardly noticeable breathing. It was only her, his thoughts and the beeping of monitoring instrumentsin inside that room.

"What are you gonna say when you wake up? Will you still know who I am?" He soliloquized, more in a whisper than loud enough for anybody to hear.

"I don't even wanna think you might not. You HAVE to be alright."

Not remembering anything. How is that even possible? And let's say, if she is confused in the beginning, amnesia always wears off, right? That spell can't be that powerful. Gray felt his eye lids falling down more and more. His head slightly dropped and he startled the moment he became aware of his fatigue. He needed another coffee. He put his plan into action and went out for the coffee vending machine outside Juvia's room.

 _'Moccachino, black tea, hot chocolate... There! Double espresso!'_ Only espresso was able to help his pathetic being to stand that night. Gray inserted his money, pushed the right button and... nothing. NOTHING?!

"Really? REALLY?! Stupid, fuckin', cursed- UGH!" The last days had not been his lucky days, honestly. And now that fucking machine had to aggravate Gray's situation by swallow up his coins. Gray kicked at the machine, overloaded by petulance and aggression.

 _'Fuck you, you fuckin' piece of shit!'_

This was too much, even for a Gray Fullbuster. He squatted down and supported his face with his hands. He sighed. He felt tears comming up his eyes. Tears?! Out of nowhere? Gray was not himself at the moment. Ever since Juvia got back from her mission and stayed in the hospital Gray sustained mood swings. It wasn't until those weeks of waiting, watching her motionless body and freaking out about the whole situation that Gray understood how much he wanted to talk to her. To touch her and kiss her and hearing her laugher. Sure, he had already undergone that moment when he guessed she died in his arms. But this was worse. She didn't die. But she's not living her life alongside him either. And there was nothing he could do. When has he ever felt so useless?

"Mr. Fullbuster?" A male voice coaxed him to look up.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kick tha-"

"Juvia Lockser just woke up!"

* * *

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger (hehe, no, I'm not. Just want you to stay anxious and keep reading).**

 **I hope you liked it. I'm very excited for the next chapter myself. Thanks for the reviews so far. I'm curious for more. I'll try my best to thrill you!**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	3. Who we are

**Thanks for your support and following my story! I'm very excited in which way you're going to react towards the ending (though I have two different endings in mind - guess, I'll be certain near the last chapter).**

 **Let me know if there are any mistakes or if there's something I should pay more attention to. I want this to be a really lovely and heartaching story.**

 **Enjoy this chapter, stay curious!**

 **Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima!**

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Who we are**

* * *

"Mr. Fullbuster?" A male voise coaxed him to look up.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kick tha-"

"Juvia Lockser just woke up!"

The doctor watched Gray expectantly. Everyone knew him by now, that he was waiting for the Water Mage to wake up and not leaving her room for more than a few hours (even Gray needed a shower or a proper bed to sleep from time to time). Then again, Gray remained in shock. His waiting had come to an end.

 _'She woke up. SHE WOKE UP!'_

Sweat started to take shape at the back of his head and found its way down his neck. Gray couldn't speak. Not yet. He had a lump in his throat that hindered him from responding.

"Mr. Fullbuster? I'm aware of your wish to see her, right? She's being checked at the moment, but you may enter her room in a few minutes."

Gray managed to slug down the lump and vomited one simple word that his lips allowed him to form.

"Thanks."

The doctor turned and disappeared afar. Gray on the other hand lingered in the hallway a moment longer, still squatted. What was he going to say? It's been almost two months since he spoke to her in person. Could he hug her? Could he _kiss_ her? It would hardly be appropriate for him to show too much affection too early. If she didn't remember him he would only be a perverted stranger to her. If she did remember at least something he could, like, hold her hand, maybe?

 _'AAAAAAH!'_ His thoughts were driving him crazy. He scratched the sides of his head and closed his eyes eventually. There was no use overthinking what he was going to do. He'd listen to his instincts. And, as always, he'd confide in Juvia. No matter her condition she would know what so say. And that's what he would build on to.

Opening his eyes Gray arised and made his way to Juvia's room. His legs were fragile thin sticks, though. He clenched his fists and breathed heavily. Her door was closed and he could hear a female doctor talking. Juvia was being consulted and Gray had to _wait, again._ He took a seat in front of Juvia's door and twiddled his thumbs. He was bothered by many possible outcomes. Who was she if she wouldn't know anything. There was just so much that defined one's character - experiences, relationships, dreams, fears, language... And all of that just _gone?_ If there was no Juvia around him who made him blush, smirk, aroused, happy, annoyed... no Juvia who loved him. It would change everything she was, everything he was. He began to think of them as one entity. It's been Gray AND Juvia. No wonder their friends would call them a couple no matter how much Gray tried to avoid their teasing and babble. If it wasn't for Juvia around him, who was he? Gray stared at the wall clock and boiled inside.

 _'A few minutes? Fucking thirty minutes! I'm gonna kick in the door if they keep putting me on the rack!'_

The Ice Mage kept bobbing his right knee up and down until, finally, the female doctor came out of the room. Gray jumped on his feet by the sound of the handle.

"Oh, Mr. Fullbuster? Sorry to keep you waiting. You may see Ms. Lockser now." The woman appeared rather serious, which her strong thin brown eyes that looked through her glasses helped her with. Her voice remained sober and cold. It was freaking Gray out. How could she stay that calm. Inside that room was his girl who was told to most likely have lost her memories, for Marvis' sake! However, two could play that game. He wouldn't let that arrogant doctor think he was a mess.

"Yeah, thanks." Gray intended to pass the woman in front of him but was interrupted when she grabbed his left arm.

"Mr. Fullbuster, I have to tell you, that... her physical condition is very well, but her mental state. Well,...let's say she's still confused by her surroundings. You should go easy on her and shouldn't push her, do you understand that? Besides, it's in the middle of the night, don't keep her awake for too long."

' _Don't tell me how to deal with my girl, dammit!'_ He chose wisely not to speak that out loud. Instead, he kept his composure and returned her severe mien.

"Yes."

"Ok, wish you luck."

 _'Tzz!'_

Gray entered the room and made sure to close it. He needed that moment for them to be alone. He watched her closely, she was sitting in silence and looking at her hands. Juvia kind of reminded him of Cana when he payed her a visit. That was a good sign, right? She was upset because of what happened but she would be ok, right?

"Juvia?" He finally found the courage and the words to adress her. She raised her eyes to look at him. Oh, how much he missed to see those eyes. Big blue eyes like a gateway to a deep ocean affected him immediately. She opened her mouth a bit and contracted her eyebrows in a plaintive way.

"G-Gray?" Excitement and flurry grew on his face. His eyes widened.

 _'Yes, that's my Name! She remembers!'_

 _'Wait... there's something missing..."_

"You are Gray, right? The doctor told me someone waited to see me..." _'No. No. No.'_

Gray's psyched up eyes gave way to glum ones.

"Yes, I'm Gray." _'Actually, it's Gray-sama in your case'_ is what he thought. Though, who was he to order her to add that ridiculous suffix.

"Uhm, you know me well, don't you?" As for Juvia who seemed to be interested in small talk Gray closed the gab between them and walked over to her bed. He took the exact same chair he used to sit on when he surveilled her half an hour ago. He took a deep breath and put his mind to answering any question she might have.

"Kinda. What do you wanna know?" Juvia felt so uneasy, Gray could tell just by the desperate look in her eyes and her hands that clutched her sheets tightly.

"I... this is so weird..." She paused for a few seconds, then went on, "I'm your girlfriend?" They held strong eyecontact until Gray found his voice to answer.

"Sorta..." That didn't satisfy the girl at all. And Gray regretted his return instantly.

"Well..." _'Oh shit, really Gray? What fuckin' gutless reply is that?'_ He scratched the back of his head and seeked for a suitable redemtion. Juvia on the other hand forstalled his stammering.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, we just started to get closer. We haven't seen each other in a while lately. But yes, I think it's easiest for you now to assume I'm... your... boyfriend."

Wow, how hard could it be to just spit that out. They were dating. And they got intimate. And Gray wouldn't let any other letch get too close to her. Still, Gray sucked at this kind of talking. ' _Is there maybe self-help such as emotional-klutz-anonymous? I could use that.'_

"Ok..." Juvia now ogled the man sitting beside her. He was supposed to be her somewhat beloved and she had to take that for now. Gray could feel her eyes on him as if they were actually touching him. She scrutinized every single detail his being offered. She looked as if she would be asking herself if such a guy could really be the one she's dating. Yet, she wouldn't know her own name if she had not been told. She gulped and proceeded her investigation.

"Since we just started, we don't live together?"

"No. You live in a female dormitory called Fairy Hills, along with other female mages of our guild."

"Speaking of which, I'm a mage?"

"Yes, a Water Mage, pretty good one by the way."

"Are you a mage, too?"

"Yeah, but my element is ice. We worked quite good together, though. Used to take jobs and training together. I can help you with your magic, well, I think I could somehow."

Gray sounded rather enthusiastically that he suggested doing something together in order to work on her amnesia. Juvia however didn't seem to be highly interested. When has she ever ignored any invitation on his part? It really hurt that now it was him and not her who was being excited about quality time. There was something else Juvia was curious about.

"The job that caused _this_ , do you know anything about it?"

"Just a little. You should talk to Cana. She's our friend, lives at Fairy Hills and went on that mission with you."

"Could you take me there tomorrow? To my place. I may not know much, but I hate this place. And I hate that doctor. I wanna leave as soon as possible." Gray smirked. At least something they had in common. He hated those doctors, too.

"Sure. I bet they are going to gather more information about your condition in the morning. I'll go home, have some sleep and return for you at midday."

"Thanks." For the first time Juvia showed a small smile. A smile that he so much missed for the last months. If only it was meant for showing him her affection and not gratitude. It could have went worse, though. Settling it for now Gray got up his seat and picked his jacket.

"Ok, uhm... I'm gonna leave then. See ya." Gray reciprocated her smile and went for the exit. But before closing her door he looked over his shoulder and gave her something to take along the next hours.

"Don't worry too much. You'll remember sooner or later, I'm sure about it." Her smile widened and she waved goodbye.

Was he so sure? He had to be, for his own sake and for hers. He'd flip out even more if he didn't believe in that.

* * *

It had been in the middle of the night that Juvia woke up. Knowing she was mentally dazed but alright Gray decided to go home and take a rest after they spoke to one another for a while. It's been a rough time and he lacked sleep. He should have been prepared for what happened. But the setting was too strange. She was too strange. And Gray acted in a strange way as well. How could two months change the way _romantically related_ people (Gray still quivered at those words) act towards another that much? She didn't call him _Gray-sama, s_ he didn't speak in third-person, she wasn't clingy the moment they met. It was absurd and bizarre, really.

And worst of it all - Gray had so many issues in his mind he couldn't ask. Sure, he wanted Juvia to feel comfortable. And she exploited it by drilling Gray with questions of all sorts. But he required to know about her true condition. Like, were there at least images of him she still had? Any scrap of conversation she still remembered? Gray just couldn't believe one could lose everything.

Arriving home Gray closed his front door and leaned back. Dropping his jacket next to him on the floor he sighed and put his head back. Gazing at his ceiling he attempted to not think of anything. He took in a deep breath, then exhaled. In again, and out.

The lack of sleep and always being stretched on his limits had its effects on him. His ears were buzzing, his eyelids fell halfway down. It was time for Gray to recover. And he did. When he last checked the time it's been almost five in the morning. When he awoke it was two pm. Nine hours of sleep!

"Dammit, I should go pick up Juvia..."

Gray couldn't remember the last time he slept through for such a long time. Man, he had been exhausted. Still a bit knocked up (sleeping for too long at one point also makes it hard to crawl out of bed, you know?) Gray took a cold shower. A very cold one. There's got to be time for that. He spun the faucet all the way to the stop. As the droplets of ice cold water carved down his body Gray perceived his prostration vanish through the plug hole. It felt so good! So soothing! Having thought this, he shouldn't waste any more time and get ready for Juvia's escape. Even though she might think of him as a stranger now he could try to gain her trust at least. Not comming to her rescue could ruin that.

He bagged some clothes for her to change (she's only been to his place two or three times, yet she already had her own shelf for clothes in his wardrobe and some bathroom supplies). And Gray still cringed by the word of relationship or boyfriend, what a child.

On his way through the streets he kept his hands covered in his pockets and his sight on the ground. But his solitude got disrupted.

"Gray!" Gray looked up to meet a familar face's eyes.

"Hey, Lucy." She was sweating and jumping from one leg to another as if having ants in the pants.

"Oh my God, have you heard it? I tried to call you, but your phone was off. Juvia woke up!" _'I need to work on how to truly use a phone...'_

"Yeah, I know. I'm on my way to pick her up, actually." Lucy's jaw fell down. She abated her heat and went closer to Gray.

"You are? How do you know?"

"Been there the night. Talked to her a bit and got home for sleep."

"And how...oh my God! How is... she...?" Lucy held her cheeks with both her hands to cover her flury.

"What do you expect a person without knowing who she is to be like?" That sounded rude. Too rude. Gray didn't mean to snarl at Lucy.

"I'm sorry...", the blonde took a step backwards but remained snoopy, "so she can't remember? Nothing? Not even... you?"

"No." Silence. Lucy was very sensitive and wouldn't push Gray on that topic. It was Juvia after all.

And it was him who broke the unpleasant stillness.

"But she asked me to pick her up and take her home. She wants to flee her sickroom and start her research at Fairy Hills."

"Well, can I accompany you? I really want to see her!"

"Uhm..." Gray hesitated for a moment.

"I don't mean to disturb. But, you know, if she doesn't remember anything, maybe female support can help. You know, some girl-to-girl-talk. Besides, basically you are not allowed to enter Fairy Hills. No offense, but...so, pleeeease?" Lucy knew how to play the innocent cute puppy card that helped her convincing anyone of her intensions. Who could resist those big bubbly eyes?

"Yeah, sounds good."

Although Lucy and Gray were walking next to each other they didn't exchange one word. Gray appeared to be absorbed in thought and Lucy gave him his space. She was lucky enough to even visit Juvia. If he wanted to talk, he'd talk - that's the kind of person he was. And Lucy would always be there if one of her friends needed her. When they arrived at the hospital and stood in front of Juvia's door, Gray sensed Lucy's insecurity.

"You ready?" Lucy paused. She pursed her lips and nodded.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

Knock. Knock.

"Come in." And they did. Juvia greeted at first.

"Hi."

"Hey." Even Gray seemed to be rather calm regarding the whole circumstances. It took all of her guts to think of any words to say to that blue haired girl in fron of her. But she was her friend. Juvia was the one in need for support on her healing process. That's why Lucy put on the kindest expression she could and started her introduction.

"Hi, I'm Lucy. You might not remember, but we're friends. I met Gray on the way and thought it would help if a female friend escorted you to your home."

"Hi, Lucy. Nice meeting you." It worked. Juvia inclined her head and smiled. She watched them closely as Gray and Lucy came closer. The Ice Mage chucked the bag with her stuff to Juvia and explained his crassness as Juvia gave him a terrified look.

"Some clothes for you to change. I thought you might get rid of those white sick tatters." He blushed and turned his head to the side.

"Thanks." Juvia surveyed the bag in her hands puzzled. All three of them dwelled silent as no one knew what to say. _'Those embarrassing moments have to decrease!'_

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Gray looked back at Juvia and was surprised that she was talking to Lucy.

"Sure." Lucy and Gray swapped startled expressions as Juvia got up her bed, grabbed Lucy's wrist and took her out of the room.

 _'What the fuck was that?'_ Gray was left behind like the fifth wheel. This girl he refused to call his girlfriend in public would still be the death of him.

Ten minutes later Lucy returned to Gray. Only her, no Juvia.

"What was that? Where's Juvia?" Gray wagged his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Gray, don't take this wrong. But Juvia, well... she doesn't want you to take her home."

"What?"

* * *

 **I hope you liked it. I needed to continue, you seemed to be so impatient and so was I.**

 **See you on next time, thanks for reading!**


	4. What was my favorite dish again?

**Chapter Four: What was my favorite dish again?**

* * *

Ten minutes later Lucy returned to Gray. Only her, no Juvia.

"What was that? Where is Juvia?" Gray wagged his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Gray, don't take this wrong. But Juvia, well... She doesn't want you to take her home."

"What?"

"Look, she finds it kinda weird walking along a stranger. Back to her home. Where you'd be alone. Do you get it?" Of course he was not getting it. A few hours ago and Juvia desperately asked for Gray to get her out of her prison-like shelter. And now she didn't even want to talk to him in person? Something was playing a wicked game with him - may it be the whole universe, Marvis or karma.

"No, what could possibly go wrong? It's not like I'm gonna rape her!"

"She doesn't know you. How would she know? I'm only trying to liaise. I'll get her home, she gets some time for herself and when she's ready to talk to you I'll tell you, ok?"

"As if I had a choice...", Gray grinded his teeth and clenched his fists insinde his pockets.

"Gray! This isn't about you. It's about her. Be patient. She needs time to get the hang of this whole messed-up situation."

Lucy had a point. She was right. It was hard to admit it but she was damn right. Juvia's wellbeing was his number one priority. His ego had to accept that.

"'Kay..."

"We'll get through this. Together."

Back home Gray didn't know what to do with himself. Nothing went as planned. He was supposed to spend the day or at least the next hours with Juvia. Or that's what he had expected from Juvia's request to take her out of hospital. Why was it that nothing was in place for Gray? War was over, he already had his first real intimate moment with the girl he liked. Yet nothing had really changed. Here he was, all alone in his apartment, thoughts nebulous, his condition downright depressed. In times past he used to head to the guild for a liberating bottle of beer. But he had to stay sober. In case Lucy imparted that Juvia was willing to see him he couldn't risk to show up tipsy. He could to that much for Juvia. Waiting until her mood allowed both of them to have a serious talk about their past and her lost memories.

* * *

Gosh, why was waiting so unnerving! A week had passed. A whole week! Everytime Gray tried to talk to Lucy she used to fob him off. Saying _'she's not ready yet'_ or _'give her some more time'._ She had no idea how waiting was driving him crazy, had she? He started to talk in monologue more and more, cursing everything around him. His habbit of stripping got worse (yes, worse. He literally ripped off his clothes out of anger). Even Natsu was freaking out because of Gray's aggressive tendency to fight him. His friends attempted to convince him of a mission. But taking a job was beyond debate. As if Gray would miss the moment Juvia would show up. No. Fucking. Way. Therefore he would kill time at the guild most of it. Random chats with Mira, jointly wallowing in self-pity with Cana and such stuff. Right now he was sipping at a cup of Irish coffee at the bar when a deep pissed voice disturbed his loneliness.

"Yo stripper, lookin' crappy, get a grip."

"Whaddaya want?" Great. As if it could get any worse. Now he had to grapple with Gajeel and his ugly face. Must be a Dragon Slayer thing - showing up at all the wrong places.

"I talked to Juvia."

"You what?" Now Gajeel had all Gray's attention. The Ice Mage turned around to face him.

"Just came back from a meeting with her." Gray was wondering why Gajeel appeared so calm. Hands hidden in his pockets, eyes droopy as always with no hint of excitement, horror or dejection.

"So?" _'Spill it out!'_

"It sucked. She's..." Gray knew exactly what the Dragon Slayer wanted to say. His first collision must have been just awkward. They had been told of Juvia's condition. Yet it was hard to confront her in person and see for yourself how unlike she was.

"She's different", Gajeel continued.

"Yeah." So far no fresh news for Gray. He intended to get rid of him as soon as possible.

"Anything in particular you wanna tell me or are you just fuckin' with me?"

"She was askin' about you. The girls must've told her she's kinda head over heels with you. You should talk to her yourself."

"I'm still waiting for that to happen. Gotta wait 'till Lucy-"

"No waiting. Go. NOW!" Gajeel meant business. He planted himself in front of Gray threateningly with his armes crossed.

"Okay..." Never had he ever pushed Gray and Juvia together. He hated the image of his blue haired innocent puddle together with Gray. Since when had he started to support their private time?

 _'What's gotten into him?'_

* * *

Gray did as he was told but was overtaken by a huge wave of nervousness as he made his way. Gajeel informed him to visit Juvia at home. It seemed she was not comfortable to leave and mess with the real world outside her guarding walls. But hey, she had asked for him! She wanted to see him again. Regarding circumstances - that's as close to first base as Gray could get. Their relationship was bizarre, really... First enemies, then mates, then friends, then close friends that lived together and would die for one another and finally somewhat lovers in their babyshoes only for them to end up not knowing how they interrelate at all.

He sneaked in the females' dormitory and hesitated to knock. There were so many questions inside his head. What would she wear? How would she greet him? Handshaking? Hugging? Only a faint _Hi_? It turned out to be the latter. Juvia answered her door shyly and opened only halfway to uncover half of her body as she hid herself. She was wearing her natural favorite colors - brown boots, blue skirt and a green top. But her hat was missing.

"Oh! Hi..." Her eyes widened, surely not expecting to see the man in front of her.

"Hey." Awesome. Welcome back discomfiture.

And Silence. They were staring at each other with no one breaking the quietness.

 _'What is it with those moments again and again!'_

"Gajeel told me that you, uhm... maybe... want to see me?" Gray scratched his back of the head.

"Yes. I was only surprised to see you so soon." Right. Juvia skipped her way of talking in third-person as well as calling him Gray-sama.

"Sorry, shall I come back some time later?"

"NO!. No. You're here now, come on in." Juvia visibly relaxed and afforded access into her apartment.

"Thanks." They stopped in the middle of her living room/ bed room/ kitchen and just stood there until Gray decided to loosen the mood.

"Sooo... How are you?"

"I'm fine I guess, according to circumstances."

"Good to know."

"I talked to Lucy. A lot actually. She told me about Fairy Tail and her-, your-, I mean, our friends. And Gajeel came over to enlighten me about our past before Fairy Tail. But what crystallized out the most about my person was-" She pondered on the right words but Gray interrupted.

"What kind of role I play in your life?" He hit the nail. When Juvia arrived the day of her discharge she was taken aback by the sight of her rooms - there were black haired plushies and towels and pictures EVERYWHERE. She soon understood there was no way she could put the topic of Gray to the side. She had to face him and get to know him if she wanted to get to know who she was.

"Yeah..." Their eye lock deepened and Juvia took a step closer to her visitor.

"I'm sorry for avoiding you the other day. I just freaked out and Lucy made me feel much more on ease. I don't know - maybe because-"

"You don't have to apologize. It's always easier to talk from girl to girl - I get that."

"Thanks." Maybe deep down he was a nice guy and those awkward moments they seemed to have would quickly vanish the more moments they share. Juvia wanted to at least try her best to uncover their bond and their feelings.

"I thought it could help to finally spend some time with you. I don't know, maybe you could take me to some places we liked to go? And perhaps some pictures will come back."

"Like a date?", Gray smirked.

"Kind of", Juvia blushed. At least he still had that effect on her.

"Sure. Sounds like a plan. Are you free tomorrow?"

"I'm free today, actually..."

"Oh, okay, uhm..."

"Tomorrow is just fine, too! Don't worry too much."

"No, no. I'm free. It's not like I have other plans, anyway. So yeah, why not. I'll pick you up around seven?"

"Okay."

"Cool. See ya later." With that said Gray bid goodbye.

* * *

"What are you, Gray? A chicken? A twelve-year-old girl? Basically, your gonna have some time to spend with your girl, don't panic!" Gray really had a problem with soliloquizing.

And he was a mess. It took him almost a whole hour only to pick the right outfit. Which was a joke for itself. He never gave his looks much attention - his clothes always ended up spread all over the streets anyway. But tonight was different. He had to pull himself together and behave. He wouldn't dare to imagine how bad things could go if he acted out his stripping habbit. Lucy was proven right - he was more or less a stranger to Juvia and didn't plan to scare her off.

In the end he chose a black jeans, a white shirt and a blue hoodie just in case he stripped nonetheless and had something underneath saving his ass. He reached Juvia's front door again that day and waited for her to come out after knocking two times. He could hear her collecting her belongings and creating great noises. _'Some things never change, huh?'_ he tought and smirked at her obviously nervouse behavior.

"Just a sec. I'll be right there!", she muttered from behind the door.

"Don't worry. Not gonna run away."

A second turned into a minute and there she was - the most beautiful woman in his life with her hair even fluffier than the time before that day. She was wearing a dress composed of a black top and a dark blue skirt that reached her knees. She revealed her breasts' fullness but not too low-necked and covered her sexy hips and legs with the loose fall of her skirt. Gray would have liked it more the other way round but she was pretty all the same. And knowing he knew how she looked underneath without anyone else realising pleased the possessive monster in him.

"Hi."

When Gray didn't answer Juvia became timid but curious. He was still absorbing her looks.

"Is something wrong? Is it not Juvia-Lockser-alike enough? Lucy gave me some advices of what to choose but her selection was a little bit too irritant. I don't like to-"

"No, it's perfect. It's hella like you, to be honest."

She responded with a small smile.

"So, let's go."

"Where exactly are we going?"

"I'm damn hungry. I thought we could get something at the guild first, and you know, ease the mood with everyone chattin' and jokin' around. And then we could take a walk around Magnolia and, well, talk a little."

"Sure. I'm a bit hungry, too."

Gray feared their walk to the guild might be strange. But Juvia quizzed him about his magic, his last mission and other random topics he found it breezing to talk about. When they passed the guild's entrance Gray almost physically feeled his mates' eyes on him and Juvia. He ignored those eyes best possible and led his companion to one of the vacant tables.

"They are staring at us..."

"Of course they are. Everyone's been worried about you and you locked yourself up for quite some time." Juvia lowered her head into a sad expression.

"Don't concern yourself too much. They know about your state. It's just been a while since you've been to the guild." As if weighing her options Juvia took her time before raising her head again and looking Gray in the eyes. Whatever her result may have been - she wore a smile again and looked optimistic.

"So, what are we going to eat? Where are the menues?" As a matter of fact the table was empty - no menues, no decoration no nothing and Juvia was hungry as a wolf herself.

"I'll get us something. Our favorite, actually." It was then when Gray got up his seat in order to aim at the bar. Juvia followed his figure but couldn't suppress her curiosity.

"And what is our favorite dish again?"

"I'll surprise you", Gray said without turning around to face her.

In the meantime of waiting Juvia was served with two drinks. Gray must've ordered them while still waiting for their meals. But the staff was fast to finish his order. Five minutes later and he returned with two very saucy looking sandwiches. He placed them down and gave Juvia a cheeky smile. Juvia on the other hand surveyed the thing in front of her as if it could bite her any second and only grabbed it tentatively.

"Oh my, how am I supposed to eat this?", she confessed.

"Well, itadakimasu! And best of luck." And luck she could need. There was goo everywhere. On her hands, the corners of her mouth and even her mug which caused Gray to guffaw.

"What?" Juvia was astonished. Gray had never laughed like that in front of her - not that she know of it of course. When the Ice Mage caught Juvia's big eyes he answered her wonder.

"It's just - it's the same when you first ate a caramade frank. You couldn't eat cleanly back then and you absolutely can't now." Juvia immediately turned into a tomato out of embarrassment. How could he be so bold towards her.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"Sorry." And the way he said that made her heart melt. Their glances met, his strong eyes pressed forward right into her soul, his smile was a slight one close to his smirks. Was there a way tomatoes can turn even redder?

"You're mean", she pouted and eloded his gaze.

"Come on, imitate me. It's pretty easy once you can handle it."

* * *

It was fun having her around again - amazing to be precise. They were laughing and Gray almost forgot that Juvia fell victim to that spell. When they finished their meal Lucy gave Gray a pleading look from afar if they wanted to join them on a larger table. Not only had Gray missed Juvia. The other Fairy Tail Mages wanted Juvia back to normal, too. He had asked her to join their friends and Juvia happily agreed. Everyone decided it was best to play along with Juvia's cheerful mood instead pity her and asking her too many questions. If she had some they would answer but no one dared to pressure her. It soon became late and Juvia pulled Gray by his sleeve and asked to leave. They strolled around and didn't care for the shortest way to Juvia's apartment.

"I'm sorry I still can't remember anything." They walked alongside. The night had already taken over and the sky was illuminated by many stars and an almost full moon.

"Don't be. It was a great evening anyway. Things will come back to normal, I'm sure."

As chill and unbent the guild's atmosphere was - Juvia was not Juvia. She took delight in laughing along her friends but she always preserved a certain distance to Gray - one she'd never kept during their old times and everyone noticed that, especially Gray. They held eye contact from time to time but there was no sparkling in Juvia's ones the way they used to have.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do much."

"I was afraid I'd be a burden." Judging by her body language she was afraid. Juvia's hands were clasped in front of her and her head lowered.

"You're not. You should know by now that we're not only friends. Fairy Tail is family. We're with you. I'm with you." That came out way more sentimental than Gray intended. But he meant it. And Juvia felt his sincerity. She looked up only to meet his profile. Could it be that Gray was blushing?

She planned to go more into detail. The night had yet to give her more answers about their relationship. She nearly closed the gap between them as her left arm touched his right while walking.

"You're serious, aren't you?" She begged for Gray to meet her gaze. It was far easier to read his mind when looking him in the eyes. But he didn't fulfill her wish and kept his stare into the distance.

"Of course. I mean-" _'Oh man, why do I lose my guts when I need them the most'._

"I'm not good with words and feelings..." He really wasn't. Juvia could tell that, too. She backed away again to give him some space and relax. Her next concern was even more intimate.

"I have a question, though. If it's okay with you. It's about us..."

"Tell me." So far so good, Juvia thought.

"Before all this happened,... how close were we?" Gray became in fact more tense. But he managed to finally meet her face in the end.

"What do you mean?" _'Please don't ask me about those three words. If she's going to ask THAT question I'll kill myself right here'._

"For example, how long have we been dating? Since when have we been together as a couple? Have we shown our relationship in public?" The strain noticeably fell off his shoulders. They were still no queries he liked to replay but it could be worse.

"I suppose the others told you about the battles against Alvarez?"

"Yes."

Gray raised his head to watch the stars. Juvia did the same as if those little lights were the most impressive thing in the world. To Gray they were. Here he was explaining to Juvia how they are related to another. She was right beside him yet so far away like those fascinating objects on the night sky. Damn irony! They've never had a real date before. Or Gray refused to call it that. Juvia had to lose her memories for him to put his back into their relationship. But there was no way Gray would let their special connection break over Juvia's stupid blank mind. They are meant to be together! He longed for them to be as naturally close as they had been before he left for his last mission, snuggled up, legs crossed, touching each other, kissing passionately. He wanted _his_ Juvia back. Only she needed to realize that and get back her memories.

"I guess we became more than friends right after that."

Though, even as only friends they were pretty close. They lived together for Mavis' sake! He knew each and every annoying vice about her everyday life routine. And she once knew about his. How moody he was in the morning. How moody she was when some of her cooking efforts became a smoking catastrophe.

"So not that long, huh?" There lay dissapointment in her expression. And Gray recognized that she may be thinking of their bond as something petty. She obviousely knew nothing of their rocky story from enemies to lovers. No. That was not the knowledge she was supposed to take home with her after that night.

"There's more to that. I mean, you... uh... I. You confessed your love for me years earlier. I needed some more time, though. I was an idiot. And even if we never spoke about anything. I mean... It just happened after the last battle."

"What happened? Have we kissed?" Certainly. She had to make him amplify.

"Yes."

"What about sex?"

"WHAT?!" A little shocked Gray jumped to his left with his hands in a defensive attitude in front of his torso. Juvia seemed a little startled as well. Was it that odd to ask that of your boyfriend?

"Sorry, it's just. I'm in the dark. I know nothing about my experiences so far." The girl broke their eye lock and averted her attention to the bushes to her right. Gray did the same, only to his left side and suddenly the shape of the houses' door frames and windows were the most interesting thing.

"Sorry..." ' _Speaking of an idiot who can't handle his girl's feelings...'_ They continued to walk side by side like this for a moment until Gray broke the ice.

"No."

"What?" Not a bit was Juvia aware what the man was talking about.

"The answer is no." Oh, he was talking about the sex thing.

"We've not slept with one another _yet_."

That got Juvia thinking. He said _not yet_ as to imply that they were about to at some point in the future. And he appeared nervous about it too. Like a virgin. Could it be? Was that good-looking man beside her still that inexperienced? And why is everything private so discomfortable for him? Juvia just couldn't make sense of their interaction. She found him attractive - sure. Any woman would. And he could be fun to be around. He held his friends very close. As a result Gray Fullbuster was a man with many good qualities. But did he like her as a girlfriend? Did she like him and didn't know about it? It was frustrating. So fucking frustrating. Juvia wished for her mind to tell her what to feel towards her guild mate.

Maybe there was a way to tell. Maybe her body instead of her mind could tell her if they were on the same page and if so, what that page exactly meant. This could either go down the drain or it would be the first step to make progress.

"Can we kiss?"

* * *

 **I'm deeply sorry for not updating as resently as I did before. I started this chapter weeks ago but didn't know how to continue. I needed a break to organize my thoughts and where to go with the story. I hope it leaked that Gray's not willing to give up on Juvia and that he wants to be with her as his girlfriend.**

 **Thanks for all your reviews and advices and your support!**

 **I hope you liked it in the end and want to follow it furthermore.**

 **See ya!**


	5. Water and Ice

**Didn't want to make you wait like I last did. So, here you go, enjoy! [It's the 'smuttiest' chapter so far, so enjoy it extensively :P]**

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Water and Ice**

* * *

 **Present**

If there's one positive thing about all the mess that happened to us I think it's the fact that I learned how to talk about feelings. I had to learn. Otherwise Juvia would've turned away from me right away. It felt strange and so unfamiliar to put my thoughts into words in front of a person that looked like her but wasn't her at the same time. Apparently, I wasn't trying hard enough. One second and it felt like nothing had ever changed and the other everything fell into pieces. Again. And again. And again. That roller coaster ride drove me crazy.

 **Two years earlier**

 **April**

"Hey Juvia." Lucy cheerfully greeted her friend in passing her entrance.

"Hi." Juvia gladly let her in and led her towards her sofa.

"I didn't make you wait for too long, did I?"

"No, no. Don't worry. I finished some cookies in the meantime."

The girls placed themselves on the sofa and Lucy's eyes shaped hearts at the sight of the table in front of them.

"You're the best!"

Relishing Juvia's homemade deliciousness the mages began chatting about this and that. Lately, Juvia enjoyed the blonde's presence. Talking to Lucy was always plain and relaxing. She never judged, she never had high expectations of her and she was roundly amusing.

"How was your mission?", Juvia asked. It had been two or three weeks since she last saw her.

"Kind of boring actually. We were overstaffed, really. Erza could have done it on her own. What about you? How have you been?"

"Well, it's been rough weeks. Gajeel tried his best to teach me some magic tricks. But we're too diffferent. Iron and water don't resonate with each other. And he sucks being any kind of instructor."

Lucy chuckled in agreement. It must have been a hilarious scene - Gajeel explaining to Juvia how to use magic and Juvia not performing any of it because of his lack of patience and empathy. Why would Juvia choose Gajeel in the first place? There'd be someone else who's magic would be much more compatible.

"You know, water and ice are more or less the same, aren't they?" Lucy smirked at Juvia. The bluenette however averted her gaze.

"..."

"Have you talked to Gray ever since that date? During our mission Gray looked terrible. And he got pissed over nothing easily. I swear, those two weeks were either annoying or nail-biting."

"I avoided him the best I could."

"But why? What happened? You seemed to have a good time?"

"We had. Until we took a walk."

Lucy hated to push Juvia. But she had some explanation to do here.

"Go on."

"We talked. Well, he talked a lot or at least he attempted to answer my questions the best way. But I couldn't figure him out one bit. I still don't understand how the hell we got together or what kind of feelings we supposedly hold for another if I hadn't lost my memories."

Lucy felt bad for her friends. Both of them. Gray, being the ice chunk he was, behaved like a teenage jerk-off. And Juvia, well. Her mental wellbeing wasn't really going well.

"He's not good in expressing his feelings, you know."

"He said that, too. And that's why I asked to kiss him. Like, maybe physical contact could make me feel anything I'm supposed to feel, but it went awefully wrong..."

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _"Can we kiss?"_

 _'KISS? Bold move, Juvia, really. But. Whow. Think, Gray, think and don't make that stupid face!'_ _That caught Gray off guard. He wished for his body not to move on its own but he couldn't help but stop on his spot, turn towards her and stare at his somewhat girlfriend that wanted them to kiss. Juvia's cheeks were rosier than her usual pink but her eyes ment business. They were strong. She was being serious about her favor._

 _"Uhm..." 'Okay, don't think, just do it. Maybe kissing triggers something and she'll remember. Mavis, it would be really helpful if she remembered ANYTHING so I don't have to struggle with everything on my own.' Gray hesitated before answering. Sweat evolved from every pore of his body. Interpreting Juvia's mind wasn't always easy before her accident. But now? He'll be damned if he didn't jump at the chance no matter the result._

 _"Sure, I guess..." They were going to do it, really going to unite their lips. Imagining it brought sickness to his stomach, though. Gray took one step closer but they were still separated by an arm's lenght. Juvia just eyeballed him without blinking at all. Shy and unpleasent as she felt she trusted Gray to go on with his movement and take the dominant part. He had to. He knew how they had kissed in the past, she didn't._

 _"_ _Just, close your eyes, kay?" Juvia's eyes irritated him greatly, he couldn't man up if she watched him like that. Blessedly, she did as she was told and shut her eyes. Gray now closed the gap between them almost entirely until their chests remained only centimeters apart from each other. He gulped. He watched her breathing - it was as tensed and increased as his own. He recognized a vein on her neck that testified her frantic heartbeat. She was nervous, he was nervous. The whole situation was just great. Again the universe played its games with him. Gray closed his own eyes only to take in and let out a deep breath. Eyes open once more he cupped Juvia's cheeks with both his hands. His stare wandered from her closed lids to her lips, back to her lids and to her lips again._

 _'Fuck it!'_

 _Gray shut his eyes and combined their lips. Juvia startled and gasped at first but maintained their connection. Their heads were tilted lightly but not enough for any passionate exchange of lust. Gray bided awhile in order to wait for Juvia's reaction. When she still didn't pull away but in fact brought her hands to his chest and grabbed his hoodie Gray forgot about his surroundings completely. He put his left arm behind her and pulled her closer by her waist. His right hand remained on her cheek and held her head in position as he titled their heads more for better access to her mouth. It wasn't the time to enter with his tongue, though. Not yet. He started to suck on her upper lip and Juvia moaned. She MOANED! Her hands tightened as if fighting her embarrassing resonance. But she wasn't pulling back! Was she enjoying it? Well, the Ice Mage sure was. Gray kept on sucking her lips for a great amount of time and finally decided for them to be ready to dance with their tongues. Gray pulled her even closer and Juvia put her right hand around his neck. Yes, that was exactly what Gray wanted her to do. He felt fully lost. He was so damn attracted to that woman in his arms no matter her condition. Her lips felt the same, her taste, her tongue. Damn, he missed playing with her like that._

 _When their little moment in ecstasy ended Gray stayed close enough to feel her breathing on his face. Their lids were still half closed as Gray locked Juvia's eyes. She looked to freaking amazing - hot, lost, shy, arroused and all at the same time._

 _"Wow", was her only whispering response._

 _'Yes, WOW!' was his thought but Gray didn't say that out loud. Instead he began to chuckle. This was absolutely not what he expected their date to be like._

 _"Hehe, yeah."_

 _They broke apart and swapped insecure expressions. What to say now? They both appreciated that instant of heat so why did Gray sensed that awkward sensation comming back to them?_

 _"So, besides wow, what do you think now?" Juvia's heart was still pounding vehemently. Interpreting her body's reaction wasn't one of the simplest tasks right now. Her eyes on Gray, her hormones that have been awakened, her sexual longing wanted to continue. But he was a stranger! Why did she addict herself to him that easily? Was there more to it than her being allowed her to know?_

 _"I don't know. It felt strangely comforting and frightening at the same time."_

 _"You haven't had any flashbacks, right?"_

 _"No, sorry." Disenchantment spread all over the place. Both Gray and Juvia faced the ground down their feet. There was no denying the bond they held. Their hands that found the right places to settle down on one another's body, the way they pulled each other, their tongues... It was hard to negate they had a moment there. With trembling voice and knees Juvia brought them back from their thoughts._

 _"Why did I fall for you?" That again. But who was Gray to complain. It wasn't him who lost every little bit of certainty and he couldn't even begin to imagine. Whatever, it was hard to describe. No, it was hard to surmise. Why DID she fall for him?_

 _"Well,..." He was scratching the back of his head while searching for his answer very badly._

 _"You don't know?" She looked up to him and titled her head._

 _"To be honest, I've never figured that one out." Gray's voice became quieter at the end of his sentence. Was there so less he knew about her? She understood him so well, and he?_

 _"Then, why did you fall for me?"_

 _'Because you love me and died for me - guess it'd be inappropriate to tell that story now, though.' Gray struggled for words and when he still didn't came out with anything better that an 'uhm' or an 'you know' Juvia offered him another one._

 _"What do you love me for?"_ _Juvia titled her head to the other side. 'Goddammit! Don't look so puppy-alike!'_

 _"I-" This was worse than being encircled by Luxus, Erza and all the others simultaneously during a battle. Seconds passed. Beads of sweat moved down his face and fell off his chin. Juvia's eyes were pleading for anything, just ANYTHING more than his stammering. Seconds proceeded to pass without anything happening. Her pleading face then gave way to a demanding one. Ultimately, her patience snapped._

 _"Gray." This was her last call. She'd give him ten more seconds to stand his ground. Ten._

 _And he failed._

 _"I have no idea how this is supposed to work. You're only yourself and calm when you're either with other people around that distract you or you don't have to think about your actions like minutes ago. Whenever I ask you about something really, really important for me to hear you stonewall me."_

 _Gray couldn't believe his ears. Was she shouting at him? Juvia? At him? Yet again, this wasn't the Juvia he was familiar with._

 _"I know nothing about you, about us. And that kiss just now - I don't see if I felt that enamored simply because of your looks and your cool attitude or because we share some linking history."_

 _"Juvia-" Gray's efforts were blocked._

 _"I've got your number. I'll call you, okay?" As if he had something more to say in that matter..._

 _"'kay."_

 _"Good night." And then she walked away from him. Gray on the other hand remained glued to his spot. What had just happened? He could hear himself saying 'g'night' but he wasn't sure if Juvia cought that._

 _End of flashback_

* * *

"You should call him. You made him wait long enough. Besides, you need a training partner. And Gray's and your magic work miracles when combined."

Lucy put her hand on Juvia's that lay on her lap to comfort her.

"I'm not sure if-"

"Doesn't matter! You need to get back to work and take missions. You've got bills to pay, right?" One bright smile and Lucy managed to manipulate even her girlfriends when needed. Juvia pouted but agreed.

"I hate it when you're right?"

"I love it!"

"Fine, I'll call him."

Calling Gray streched her to the limit. Asking him for any more favors - she was reluctant to do so. Nevertheless, Lucy had a point. Juvia needed jewels. For that she had yet to gain control over her magic again. The call was quickly cut off. Gray sounded nonchalant about Juvia's request - not even close to what Lucy had described him to be like. They agreed on an appointment the next day's afternoon and Juvia couldn't wait for that time to come and pass shortly after. Her magic skills were her one and only priority.

When they met the next day at their stipulated place (it was somewhere outside Magnolia near a river) Juvia felt flurry take over. She was first to arrive and waited eagerly. She prayed for their training session not to be too weird.

"Yo." Juvia recognized the voice behind her back as Gray's and arised from the rock she was sitting on.

"Hey." She did an indifferent job on hiding her unease. Her voice was fractured, her arms behind her back and her legs directed inwardly.

"Thanks for coming." After everything that had happened and that she had said to him - there was no reason for Gray to be so kind to her. She feared the second she had to look him in the eyes. But to her amazement it wasn't scary at all. His dark orbs held something promising and securing. As if he'd take good care of her the next hours.

"Lucy told me you tried to train with that Iron bastard?"

"Don't call him like that! And yes, we tried, we fought with one another and we failed..."

"I'm not even surprised." He chuckled. Gray sure was unbent. For Mavis' sake! If he wasn't - Juvia'd be a mess. But she could handle this. Gray made an relaxed impression and Juvia suddelny got excited to get to know her magic!

"So, how do we start?" She clapped her hands and drew nearer.

"At first you need to feel your element. You have to build a connection between your body and water itself." That sounded somewhat difficult though she had no idea of how to do it at all.

"How do I do that?"

"You see that river?", Gray pointed to Juvia's left, "you'll get inside and- well, it's hard to explain. We'll see when you're in." Gray made his way to the river but stopped when he missed the sound of her following him. He turned, went back to her and outstreched his hand for her to grab it.

"Let's get going. I'm not gonna bite you." Juvia hesitated. She tried to read his mind. Could those eyes lie to her? _'yes, they can - run away the fast as possible and don't turn around before you fall for his strong arms, his irresistible smirk and those soft but determining lips of his!'_ said a small voice in her head. She didn't listen. Instead, she lowered her sight from his messy hair and seductive expression to his inviting hand and then-

"Were did your clothes go?" He was barely wearing anything. The only fabric left were his boxers - and they left no room for imagination as tight as they were. Juvia had gotten herself in a great mess.

"I'm getting inside with you." _'No, you're not! In which way would it be appropriate for a teacher to go into waters with his student half naked?'_

"Okay..." _'What are you saying, Juvia? Earthland to Juvia, EARTHLAND TO JUVIA!'_

The smartass voice in her head lost. Juvia took Gray's hand despite knowing better. She followed him into the river and was now face to face to him. Thank Mavis she herself was only wearing hot pants and a sport's bra. He started his instructions.

"Now, I want you to concentrate on the flow of the water around you. Feel it." _'Feel the flow of the water? I am feeling it. It's all around my body. I'm soaked from chest to feet, dammit! Of course I feel the water. What do you know, smartypants?'_

"You know, it's kinda funny. You talking about what I'm supposed to feel all of a sudden." Gray's eyes widened at her sassy comment. But he regained his composure a moment after.

"Hey, focus on your task." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her a dirty look. Two could play that game. She had asked for his advise after all.

"Sorry."

Back to her exercise she rivetted on the water around her. She watched it, she ignored the shivers the cold conveyed. But nothing. No magical bonding, no nothing.

"Huh, this is not gonna work...", Gray sighed, slapped his face and thought for some time. Juvia who grew impatient from second to second trembled and shivered harder and harder. She began to rub her arms.

"Do you trust me?" _'Do I trust you?...'_ Their eyes locked and the world around them stopped for a moment. Juvia remembered the night when Gray had told her he'd be with her. That he'd be there for her during the time with her mind messed-up. His expression back then and now - how could she not trust someone she felt so attracted to. She felt pulled towards the man and didn't know why.

"I do." Gray smiled. He was content with her answer.

"Okay, close your eyes." _'Ohhh danger alert!'_ The last time he'd asked her to do so she'd felt his lips pressed on hers seconds later. But this was about training. He wouldn't dare, would he? Juvia implemented his order. A little optimism wouldn't hurt.

"Gray?" He was gone. Eyes shut and no words that would tell her where he was made Juvia nervous.

"I'm still right here in front of you. Keep your eyes shut. I want you to listen to the sound of the river."

 _'The sound of the river? It's rushing, so? What's so special about it?'_

"Fade everything else out. It's only you and the water around you."

Once Juvia gave her sense of hearing time to fit in its role she could hear the river's rushing clearer. She kept her mind on the waters near her. It passed her so fast and therefore gave her eardrumms quite some work to do. How could she not recognize how loud the sound of the stream was? Somewhere behind her, nearer to the source of the river, was a small waterfall - she heard its splatter. And far in the distance in the direction of the flow the water slowed down - it sounded more like a creek. All those impressions were amazing!

"I-, I can hear it." It was more like a whisper but Gray understood her.

"Good. Remember, keep them shut. Now-" His voice came closer to the Water Mage and she could hear his advance through the water undoubtedly. Contrary to her goosebumps she made out Gray's emitting body heat in front of her. Deja-vu was calling...

"Feel the water with your sense of touch." And just like that he took her hands and tangled their fingers. He opened hers with his.

"Feel it running through your fingers." They were so close that Gray was whispering himself. He spoke into her right ear and told her on what to focus.

"Feel its cold tickling your skin. Your legs, your stomach, your arms. Feel it smashing into your back." Those words, those feelings. Too many feelings! They made Juvia feel weak. Her breathing quickened. Her pores responded to his guidance as well as the feeling of the water around her body. And it didn't help at all that Gray's words sounded so sexy. He was still holding her hands and she leant against his grasp - maybe a little too much. She could lose it right then and there. Something strange spread through her being.

"Feel it become you. And imagine you're the water. Move with it." It hit her all at once. Excitement, delight, heat, cold and overpowering.

"Open your eyes." First thing she targeted was Gray's head. But he was staring at something else. She followed his origin of regard and lowered her eyes.

"Oh my... I'm-, I'm-"

"You did it."

What Juvia did was turning herself into water - well, partly. Only her arms and some areas of her lower body that just blended with the river. It was overwhelming. She actually did it! She started to cry and wielded her arms around Gray.

"THANK YOU!" She squeezed his neck to the point he got problems breathing.

"Hey, hey, easy there." Gray supported her hardened body back on the ground but let his hands stay around her waist. Juvia looked up with tears in her eyes but she wore a bright and honest smile.

"Thank you." His response was a soundless smile that was mixed with some kind of sadness.

"Gray?" The girl that still held the man of her interest close by his neck felt so drawn to him. She was so happy right now, why was he not, at least not entirely?

"Yes?" He arched his eyebrows.

Juvia raised herself on tiptoes, closed her eyes and kissed Gray. It was the one and only natural thing to do. Everything in her longed for them to unite again. She cought his lower lip and sat tight. It was now her turn to wait for his permission to proceed. Fortunately, it was only a matter of a second. He quickly anticipated and brought her closer. Their tongues immediately met and their training session transformed into a fierce make-out session. When they almost fell because of the river's strong pull on them Gray decided to change places. He turned Juvia to her left and guided her backwards against a rock on the waterfront. That way it was way easier to stay in place and pursue their task of discovering their bodies.

Gray cupped one of Juvia's breast on top of her soaked sport's bra with his left hand and explored her neck with his tongue and teeth. The pleasure he gave her made her moan. His other free hand hesitated to leave her waist. He so much wanted to go under her pants to increase her moans but he stopped at her hip bone. Instead he grasped her ass and squeezed it. Another moan escaped Juvia's lungs when he pinched her nipple all at once. As much as he enjoyed her moans he shut her up by pressing his lips on hers again.

Their movements slowed down to more passionate ones. They nibbled at each other's lips in turns. They took their time only kissing, licking and sucking for a long time. It was Juvia who then became a bit too eager. After paying his pecs and abs enough attention she reached for a particular now erect muscle down his stomach. When she found the bulge in his pants Gray gasped with surprise. Juvia didn't know anything about sizes but this specific one in her hand sure as fuck felt big. She panted but continued with her doing. No way was she backing off!

Her other hand helped to lower his boxers a bit so her working hand had free access to Gray's member. She began to pull up and down his shaft in a slow pace. Her hold was tight. She assumed it had to be. With the water around them she couldn't hurt him anyway. Her guess was confirmed the moment she heard him grunt. She smirked. She had that effect on him! That day was perfect so far. She arrived with fear and discomfort playing tennis with her entrails. Currently, she was kissing and pleasing the hottest male she's ever met. Not to forget he had helped her with her magic before in such a cute and caring and sexy way. It couldn't get any better-

"Juvia."

"Huh?" Gray pulled away and held Juvia by her shoulders.

"What are we doing?" There it was again. His expression contained dreadful depression. Buty why?

"What do you mean? Don't you like it? Shall I try something else-" Juvia blinked a bright red. Of course, she was inexperienced, but she could try-

"No, it's not that. It's-, look... Fuck!" He took a step back and loosened his grip on her while putting his pants back to its place. His eyes were to his right, avoiding to see her. He ground his teeth and pondered.

"What's wrong?" Juvia stepped forward and made him look at her. She cupped his right cheek and brought it to her.

"This is wrong! You. Me." Sadness now met sincerity and Juvia got scared. What was the meaning of all this?

"Us, girlsfriend and boyfriend, making out is wrong?"

"This _us_ doesn't exist. I- FUCK! This is hard..." Gray once again lowered his gaze before looking Juvia deep in the eyes.

"Okay, look - I'd really, really like for us to be like this. But you don't even remember why we are this close. And no matter if I ever find the words to describe it - you will never feel what you'd feel for me if you remembered. And I can't do this kinda stuff with you knowing you don't remember why you love me or what brought me to discover you're so special to me."

Before Juvia could complain she was left alone in the water.

"I'm sorry. I need space", was what Gray left Juvia with.

* * *

I love drama! This time it's the other way round! Gray is telling Juvia to back off. I hope you liked it even though I wrote it in such a short amount of time - I HAD to continue after your lovely last reviews. This is the result :3

See ya.


	6. Space

**Thanks thanks thanks! I know I'm playing with the feels, but isn't that what makes it exciting? I really enjoy writing this story and your reviews are greatly supportive! Here you go, didn't want to leave you hanging there for too long (hope it's not too rushed, though) :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Six: Space**

* * *

"What the-... what was that?"

Juvia couldn't see why Gray would leave her like that all of a sudden. Sure, she felt it, too. That strange sensation of being so close whereas there was a huge gap between them. But they were already in the thick of it - why did he have to stop _there?_ Or was it something she did? Did he feel uncomfortable with her work? Maybe he was as experienced as he looked and Juvia embarrassed herself... Realization hit her. Still in the river Juvia lost her footing and sank in until her mouth remained underneath the surface. She exhaled a massive amount of air which caused the water to bubble. At least she learned how to connect with her element. But with Gray now desiring space? What should she do about her training sessions?

* * *

 _'You're such an idiot! How-, why-...'_ Gray was on his way back home. He had to get out of there. They had gone way too far for his liking - for his mental liking of course. His body'd responded embarrassingly fast and wherever she had learned how to give hand jobs, she had somehow known how to give him a great pleasure.

"Arghhhhh!" The whole situation drove Gray nuts. With his teeth and fists clenched he clomped along the streets and passed by many people he scared the shit out of. One certain man caught his attention in a very bad way and he lost his patience.

"Oh screw you, you have no idea how fucked up my day was!"

"Get some pants, you sick pervert!" was his response. Gray was about to argue but lowered his sight anyway.

"What-, oh SHIT!" Somewhere along the way he must have dropped his one and only clothing and now he was wandering around completely naked. And what brought matters to a head was the fact that he had forgotten to take his belongings by the river in the first place. Fortunately, he never kept his keys by himself - he knew better. Instead he hid them in a bush near his apartment.

"Okay, beer, whiskey, anything. I need something to swallow that shit." It's been only two minutes or so and Gray's search for a releasing drink got interrupted by a knocking on his door. _'What now? Is it her? She wouldn't dare...'_

Angrily, Gray wrenched his door open.

"What do you want?"

"Yo, calm down. I called you but you wouldn't listen. What's gotten into you, ice princess?" It was Natsu. Of all people it had to be him. As if Gray had any motivation of fighting with him right now.

"Shut up, flame brain. What do you want? I'm busy."

"Busy doin' what? Searchin' for ya pants?"

Natsu hissed at Gray's still fully exposed body but so called ice princess couldn't care less.

"Anyway, WHADDAYA WANT?"

"Erza sent me. It's about an S-ranked missions. We have permission to do it with her and the reward is awesome. It's about- HEY! Are ya even listenin'?"

Gray lost his attentiveness and his eyes gazed into the distance.

"Sorry, been a rough day", he excused himself.

"Is it about Juvia?" Congratulations, Natsu. You're dead on.

"Sinsce when have you become insightful?" Gray knitted his brows. He became even angrier because of his frenemy's confident and right guess.

"It's always about Juvia when you're acting like a huge douche." Was he that obvious? If so, he could as well asked Natsu in. He didn't look like Gray could fob him off easily anyway.

"Oh man, common' in."

"First, you gotta get dressed. It's freakin' me out."

The Ice Mage grabbed for the first fabric he found on the floor and put it on. Next thing that came to his mind was his urge from minutes ago. Gray was sure his friend wouldn't refuse a bottle of beer so he got two refreshing ones out of his fridge and came back to the door. Natsu then followed him to his living room and they took seats on the sofa, each of them holding one of the bottles.

"So, what happened this time?"

"I can't believe I'm talkin' to you about it." Gray paused for a moment and sipped at his beer while thinking. Natsu as to overcome the silence did the same but was too curious. And he could tell that his friend had a hard time dealing with his stuff lately. As much as both of them fought and insulted each other. They were besties. Natsu hated to see any of his guild mates suffer in pain. But it was different with Gray. While Lucy allowed her emotions full bent Gray would always cloister himself away. He rarely showed any affliction. He took the first step by inviting him hin. Natsu had to push him a little in order to get him to talk freely.

"Hey, I get that this is serious. Everyone can see that she's special to you. I'm your friend, well, most of the time. So, try me."

The men exchanged a brief eye contact before Gray clutched his bottle tightly with both his hands and paid it his attention. Afterwards he began to speak.

"The thing is, she still doesn't know anything. Even about her magic. That's why she asked me to train with her. And she did well. She learned quickly. But..."

"But? Come on, spit it out."

"But, uhm, we had a moment, she kissed me and we kinda got lost in making out and stuff."

"Eww, okay, you can stop there."

"Don't get scared shitless, pinkie!"

"Sorry bro. Anyway, I don't get it? You spent time with her, you make out - correct me, but isn't that awesome?"

"NO!, Well, yes. It's weird, man. For that moment I mistook her for the real Juvia. But she's not. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of her."

"It's not like you raped her, right? Besides, what do you mean, _real Juvia_?"

"She's not the one that fell for me. And she's not the one I-..."

"Love?"

"Oh shut up!"

"It's still her. You should better take good care of her. I mean, she's been through a lot with you. It's your turn to do the same."

"Really, who are you?" Gray couldn't believe the words that were coming out of Natsu's mouth.

"Anyway, about that mission..."

"It starts the day after tomorrow. It will take a while. It's overseas."

"Perfect."

"You comin'?"

"Sure. I need time and space for distraction."

* * *

Juvia arrived home just to let herself fall down on her bed. Staring at her ceiling she recalled what happened that day. It was only odd in the beginning. They soon got along well. And it was so simple to follow his orders. Whether it was their magic, their physical attraction or their past that still lingered somewhere hidden inside her mind - it felt like they were meant to be so close. She sighed and closed her eyes. Her chest soared by her deep breathing. Only remembering their luscious moment made her back arch. Gray's hands exploring her body's landscape, his lips caressing her lips, her neck, her ear. His doing was breathtaking even in memory. Why? WHY? Juvia stayed in bed as to come to terms with her noon but failed every time. Her thoughts were spinning around like crazy until she spaced out into a relieving doze in the end.

It was already in the evening by the time Juvia awoke and arised from her bed. It was time for a shower after her succsessful practice. But she stopped on her way to the bathroom. Someone was knocking on her door and calling her name. She assumed it had to be Erza. Knowing her (even if it was just for such a short time) it was no good idea to let her wait. Juvia turned on her heel and answered the door.

"Hey."

"Hi, Erza. What brings you here?" Erza appeared much enthusiastic. She smirked devilishly. Juvia didn't like it. Erza was planning something...

"We'll be having a girls night today at my place. You coming?"

"Uhm... Who else is comming?"

"Lucy, Cana, Levy."

Cana is comming? That surprised Juvia. Cana seemed to have no interest in Juvia. They obviously spent time together during their last job. But ever since her waking up Cana somehow avoided her. It irritated Juvia. She didn't want to be on any bad terms with her dorm mates. Juvia should definitely hang out with the girls and clear that out.

"Sounds like fun. Sure. When does it start?"

"Lucy's already at my place. You can come whenever you're ready."

"Okay, I just need to take a shower first. Thanks for asking. See you."

"Great, see ya!"

* * *

"Sooo Levy, what was your worst kiss?"

The girls were sitting in a circle and playing a game. Like truth or dare, only without the dare part. In order to ease the atmosphere and be able to even talk about confidential stuff Erza had organized a grand amount of booze. By the time Erza initiated her little game of private torture all the girls had reached the perfect level of drunkenness that lay a bit over tipsy. It was Erza's turn to shoot another painful question and Levy was her victim.

"I CAN'T tell you that!" Levy was beaming like a traffic light and clenched the fabric of her pyjama trousers.

"Come on! Don't be a wussy!" There was no way Erza would accept any attempt of evation. Being aware of the inevitable Levy began to confess.

"I guess it was after I- well... one time after I gave Gajeel, you know..., a _blowjob_ , he wanted to kiss me right after that. But I had all his, ahm... in my mouth. He said he'd be fine but he wasn't. It was so embarrassing. For the both of us."

No one expected THAT kind of avowal. Not coming from Levy. All her friends wore shocked eyes of surprise - most of all Erza.

"Eww! That's gross!"

The redhead immediately received a confused look by Lucy who was sitting to her right. Of all people Erza was the one finding that gross? Lucy had imagined her to be the most experienced in all kinds of smutt. She met up with Jellal from time to time and everyone recognized the sexual tension between them when Jellal was in town. But it was true, still waters run deep. Only Levy didn't deserve to be responded so harshly. And Lucy answered for her.

"Don't say that!"

"What, do you all swallow?" Erza, now visibly offended, fought back.

"Of course, it isn't nice not to. I mean, if you love the guy." The blonde blushed and peered sidewards.

"Poor Jellal...", chaimed in Cana. Her chin leaned on her right hand that for its part rested on one of her tailor-fashion legs. Her expression was a rather attacking one and she grinned after her assault, looking Erza right in the eyes as she was sitting in front of her.

"Hey, he's never ever been unsatisfied!"

"As if he'd dare to complain. You'd punch him in the face if he ever complained." Cana had a point which caused all the mages to burst into laughter. All except for one grumpy redhead. It was just too hilarious. Juvia enjoyed her evening very much. The girls of her dormitory were all so relaxed and carefree, it was easy to fit in. And when the time came Juvia would ask Cana about her behavior. As much as they laughed together Juvia still had the impression that the brunette avoided to talk to her directly. But for now Levy was next.

"Okay Levy, it's your turn."

"Right. I pick...Lucy!", and with that sat Levy darted a mischievious glance at her friend, "who were you talking about regarding the _blowjob_... and the one you love?"

You could tell that Lucy was caught off guard as beads of sweat ran down her face. At that moment it was her who pegged to her pyjamas.

"I ahm... What are you talking about?" Chuckling insecurely Lucy did her best to elude the topic. Though it didn't work at all. Not with Erza besides her who was all too happy about the change of subject matter.

"Don't play that stupid! We know there's something going on with Natsu."

"NO! There's not!"

"I think I saw him leaving your place with a very pleased smile on his face. Shirtless. And his belt still slack." Juvia did saw that. Many times actually. Lucy's apartment was on her way to the guild and Natsu used to stumble out of her door at times.

"Not you, too, Juvia!" Lucy felt very much affronted all around. Her so called friends were stabbing her with spears of curiosity and she was their quarry.

"Why do you keep objecting. It's so obvious." And there she went again, saying out loud what ecerybody else was thinking. Cana loved to tease her girlfriends about their sex live.

"Is it?"

"Yes." Hoplelessness got the better of Lucy and she surrendered with her head bowed in defeat.

"Well, yeah. We have _something_ going on. But as long as we don't have a clear arrangement about us we want it so be a secret. So please, don't tell anybody!"

"Sure. I'm so happy for you, Lucy!" Levy was the first of the group to come out about her relationship with Gajeel. It was only a matter of time when the others did as well and now was Lucy's moment of confession.

"Fine. Make sure he deserves you. And tell me if I should kick his ass!"

"Erza!"

The clique shared another time cackling and chinked their glasses afterwards. Lucy however was aware of her might. And she'd make the most of it.

"Okay, my turn. Juvia!", she knew exactly what she wanted to ask, "how was your training with Gray?" Juvia's smile vanished for a glum expression to emerge.

"Uhm..." That got Erza interested. Even though it wasn't her turn she barged in and pelt Juvia with another question.

"You trained with Gray? Is he still pissed and acting like a dick?"

"Well... as for the training part - it went well, very well. I could turn myself into water at the end of it."

So far so good. But Lucy needed more from her.

"Go on. Did anything happen between the two of you?"

"We made out and it was horrible!" The bluenette cupped her own cheeks and suppressed her tears. She weeped so fast, especially when drunk. Damn her connection with water.

"Really? He's that bad of a kisser? Expected more of that stripper..." Cana laughed in her sleeve. That knowledge was worth a mint.

"NO! Not the kissing part. But in the middle of it he broke away and just left me. He's so confusing. I don't think we're going to see each other anytime soon."

Silence spread all over the room. Meanwhile, Erza mulled over for a second and then formed her assumption into words.

"That explains why he accepted that mission. Thought he'd quit."

"Mission?" Juvia blinked at Erza hopefully. Her tears threatened her again.

"Yeah, Team Natsu's going on a mission to Caelum. It's probably going to take a few weeks, maybe a month."

"I see. He said he wanted some space..." Juvia sank her head. She felt a bit heartbroken. While it was so simple to be friends with everyone else Gray was one untransparant book to read. Why could he make her feel so high and so low from one moment to another? And now he was avoiding her... avoiding... Juvia arised her gaze again and fixated on Cana.

"Speaking of which. Cana, I'd like to know why you have evaded me so far." The girls locked eyes. Levy, Lucy and Erza also stared at Cana and were excited for her response.

"Me evading you?" Cana straightened herself and became nervous. She hesitated to answer right away. It wasn't like she intended to avoid her. It was simply hard to face her knowing she caused her pain. It was the same with Gray if not worse. When she first told him about the accident she couldn't read his expression at all. He appeared dense and buried in the progress of understanding when he left her hospital room. Ever since that she prevented to meet him. He had to be angy with her.

"Cana, you did evade Juvia." Being the attentive friend she was Levy naturally saw the change in the brunette's manner. Not by any means was it now possible for Cana to escape. She had to open up. She blinked a few times and eventually gave Juvia her answer.

"To be honest, I didn't think you wanted to speak to me at all. I mean, after everything that happened..." Cana stopped there so as to await the blunett's reaction. Said recipient however knitted her brows.

"What do you mean?" Juvia couldn't recall their last job. How would she know?

"It's my falt after all."

"What is your falt?"

"Juvia, you saved me. My movements were too slow in the fight and you took that spell to save me. If it wasn't for me you'd still have your memories."

So that's been the heavy burden on her heart. She's been suffering all the time. Suffering in vain but suffering. Juvia was not the only one effected by the spell after all. It was tough in the beginning but she had sorted herself out in most of her issues. Cana shouldn't have thought that way. That was for Juvia to assure and her face slackened off in the course of her upcoming statement.

"Don't blame yourself. Whatever happened - it's in the past. We can't change anything. And I'm fine. I started to regain my magic skills and I feel so comfortable with you and Fairy Tail in general. I'm happy the way things are." Juvia cocked her head and gave Cana a sweet smile. Her kind and honest gesture appeased Cana a bit but she was still worried about a certain person.

"Yeah, but what about you and Gray?" The topic of Gray annoyed her at that point. She was too drunk. And strictly speaking, the girls required a night of joy. Why bumming them out any more?

"I don't know. Maybe we have to move on."

 _'Poor Gray'_ were everyone's thoughts but no one dared to say it out loud. It was useless to push or to judge Juvia in that matter. Truth be told, from what Juvia had told them Gray was acting his usual withdrawn dumbass self. If someone could handle that side of Gray it would be her and only her.

They soon continued to play their truth or truth game. Levy became the silly drunk, Juvia the wailing one, Erza the bossy one and Lucy cuddled with one of her friend's pillows and called out Natsu's name. Only Cana remained her usual self - as always.

The night went on in laughter, teasing and tears of love. Juvia learned a lot about herself and her mates. And at the end of the night she felt as confident as she could regarding her company and calling them that way - because that's what they were: true friends.

* * *

 **May**

Gray gazed into the distance and let himself get carried away by the sound of the waves and the soft sea breeze touching his bare torso. His team had been on business for more than three weeks. It had taken them a whole week only to travel to their destination. One day left of traveling back home and he didn't know how to handle Juvia, though. Ignore her? Overact as if nothing had happened? He sighed and sank his head onto his crossed arms. The comfort he seeked in the light swell didn't sneak in - not in the slightest. What was it he expected of his relationship with Juvia? Being her boyfriend? Going back to being friends? Could he do that? Could he resist her pull? Could he accept it if they moved on and she dated another guy? Only imagining it transformed his bowles into jelly.

His wallow in self-pity got interrupted when he sensed a pair of feet and the rasping of somebody clearing her throat to his left.

"So, what are you going to to about Juvia?" Gray looked up and darted Erza the most pissed-off gaze he owned.

"Why do _you_ care?" Erza felt offended. Her purpose was helping him, not taunting. She crossed her arms but pointed out her true intension. She tried her voice to sound calm and understanding.

"You're my friend, of course! And Juvia, too." There lay concern in her eyes. Gray noticed that. He decided to offer her that talk after all. But what was there he could say?

"Don't know", was the only thing he could give her. He hated his lips forming those words. Apparently, he used to say them more often lately.

"Do you want to lose her?"

"No."

"Then it's obvious, isn't it?" Erza bowed her head like a confident parent lecturing a child. Gray despised her for that kind of behavior.

"I hate you."

"Grow a pair, Gray. When we're back home you gonna get your girl. You're not giving up on her, right?" Erza used just the right words. Giving up on her? The hell he'd _give up_ on what is his! That bitch was damn right. Why would he even falter. It's Juvia. JUVIA. HIS JUVIA. His girlfriend. To hell with her loss of memory. They could make plenty of more ones. They had a foundation nevertheless. They matched. And he loved the way they matched. How her sweet and soft body clung to his. The way her voice released a brief shriek whenever he made her startle. He loved that he could still make her blush. He loved her laughter. He loved her curly blue hair. He loved how easily he got lost in the depths of her ocean like eyes. It was as simple as that. He loved her.

What gnawed at him was the fact he needed Erza's assistance for that matter.

"Again, I hate you."

"Love you, too, sweetheart."

* * *

Gray stood in front of his guild. He had checked on Juvia at her apartment but she was out. He presumed she'd be at the guild. He just had to march in, take her boldy in a tight embrace and press his lips on hers. Well, maybe he'd choose a more careful method. But his feet wouldn't move. They were rooted to the spot. What did move was his raging pulse, his hammering heart and his boiling blood. He felt the urge to strip right then and there. Was it that hard to tell the girl you love about your feelings? They were just three teeny tiny words. Yet they held so many expectations, hopes and promises. But he had to tell her. She had to know. She deserved to know.

When his muscles finally gave in and carried him through the front doors his eyes searched for his goal eagerly. He scanned the room from right to left and there she was - chilling at the bar, talking to Mira and sipping at a drink. She was hot, damn hot. She wore a sleeveless, tight, dark blue hoodie, a black short skirt that revealed her guild mark and her usual overknees. She was sexyness to perfection which caused Gray to almost drool all over the place.

 _'Kay, Gray. Calm down. You prepared yourself. Not the fuzzy kissing part. The talking part. You know what's gonna happen. You know what to say. Man, was this how Juvia felt when she creeped all around me? Have we exchanged roles?'_

Gray inhaled deeply, braced up and stepped closer to his target.

"Juvia."

The called bluenette turned and put on a gentle smile immediately. A smile that sent Gray a chill down his spine. She was so beautiful. Why has he never told her that? She deserved to hear it every day. And her eyes. He could sink in those seas. His right arm bestirred to touch her cheek but stopped in the process when she spoke.

"Oh, hi Gray. How was your mission?" Right, it's been weeks or a month that they had last seen another. Plus it was according to his will. In light of this it was rather impressive that she welcomed him in such a sweet way. First small talk, then confession, then exchange of affection. Yes, that could work.

"Flame breath was a pain in the ass. Erza beat the shit outta us. We earned a lot of bucks. Pretty normal job."

"That's great." Gray didn't mean to dwell on small talk too much, though. He came with a mission of his personal concern and that mission he would fulfill or his name wasn't Gray Fullbuster. However, his left hand couldn't resist but scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, anyway. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Juvia widened her eyes. Certainly, for him to seek her out with the need to talk was not his typical demeanor.

"Sure. What's it abou-"

"JUVIA", a male voice from afar disrupted her speech. The man owning that said voice came nearer and grabbed Juvia by her shoulders (a bit too familiar for Gray's liking), "I won! You're truly my lucky charm." The man had greasy brown hair that reminded Gray of his hairstyle back in his Avatar times. His toothy grin was _gorgeous_ and his whole appearance was _handsome_ (he could hear Lucy's description in his ears if she was here). Gray hated him. But the worst part of it was Juvia's reaction. She responded with a childish giggle and reddened. She REDDENED.

"Told you Gajeel would save that one as his trump card."

"You're the best!"

What came next morphed the Ice Mage into a speechless, dizzy picture of misery. His blood froze. His heart stopped for a second. His breathing failed to feed his lungs. The brown haired man leaned forward and kissed Juvia who willingly reciprocated by cupping his cheeks. It was short but it happened. Juvia had kissed another man right in front of him. Gray became violently sick in an instant. Someone else's mouth on hers. That was the most grievous scene he could have expirienced there. Shock or anger or consternation couldn't even signify his state of mind.

After they had pulled apart Juvia faced Gray again, looking innocently.

"What was is you wanted to talk about?"

* * *

 **Boom cliffhanger bitches! [Sorry for my language]. I know I'm being the bitch here. And I know I'm not easy-going on Gruvia but hey. If we're being a bit realistic it has to be complicated for them to work things out.**

 **Btw, who do you think the handsome brown haired man is?**

 **Thank you guys, again. See ya.**


	7. Affection

**Ok we've reached something between a third of and half of the story. Depends on how long I'm going to let Juvia and mostly Gray suffer :P**

 **I love the fact that so many of you like the ship but also want to see Gray in pain, deservedly^^**

 **Me too btw. Yes poor Gray and his past. But man, we all have our cross to bear. Doesn't authorize you to be a dick.**

 **And don't forget - this is romance/TRAGEDY and I love tragedy :-)**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: Affection**

* * *

After they had pulled apart Juvia faced Gray again, looking innocently.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?"

Instead of answering he stood there with his mouth agape. He had missed her. He'd longed for their next encounter. He'd come to confess how he felt about her. _'Say the_ _words. SAY THE WORDS!'_ But he couldn't. Not with Juvia and that stranger bombarding him with their wondering stares. Juvia's curiosity disappeared and worry dominated her eyes' expression. She sensed something was odd about his action. She intended to aks him more empathically about his request but the stranger preempted her doing.

"Oh sorry, did I disturb something?", his eyes swayed between Juvia and Gray. _'Did he disturb something? Are you kiddin' me, asshole?'_ The stranger's interruption gloomed Gray's face.

"I'll get going, sorry. I'm Win by the way. And you are?..." He put out his hand for Gray to accept it but he refused to. The only good thing about _Win's_ bother was that Gray was now able to concentrate on another topic. He was asked his name.

"Gray."

"As Gray Fullbuster?" Win's eyes caught Juvia's and they exchanged a brief nonverbal message. As her smile affirmed her wellbeing he proceeded with his greeting.

"Nice to meet you!"

 _'Can't say the same'_ In lieu of saying that as it might piss Juvia off he responded a sharp 'Hm' and watched for the other man to finally leave.

"I'll pick you up later, 'kay Juv?" She nodded and Win gave her a curt kiss on her forehead before returning to his table afar in the guild. Juvia then questioned Gray with her curious expression again. He'd make a fool of himself if he just blurted his feelings out, would he? They had looked like a real couple with equal fondness on both sides. They had nicknames and they were adorable. It was disgusting. Gray felt like vomiting. This was not what he had prepared himself for. This was completely new. Never had he ever have to compete against others for Juvia. He had to overthink his plan and the way he could let her know about his realization.

"If you're not going to say anything I suppose it's not that important?" It was but he needed more information about that Win. What kind of name was it anyway? It sounded stupid. Was he from another kingdom?

"No, I don't need to bother you right now. It can wait."

"Okay", the bluenette arised from her seat and headed for the exit, "I'll see you around, Gray." She waved him goodbye and gone she was.

Gray as well as Mira (yes she witnessed the whole painful happening) had followed her leaving figure until she was out of sight before the Ice Mage rivetted on the white haired bartender.

"Mira, what the hell did I miss?"

"Oh Gray..."

* * *

 _Flashback [three weeks earlier]_

"Gajeel-kuuun, give me a break. I've reached my limits!" An exhausted Juvia panted heavily. Even if Gray had left her it didn't mean she'd skip her training. With her first step accomplished she was capable of listening to Gajeel's instructions more effectively. But for that she had to agree to calling him Gajeel-kun again. She's been told she'd used to do that, it wasn't hard to catch up on doing it again if it made him happy. Though, that bastard had told her she'd called him Gajeel-sama which she didn't believe, of course. Who'd call someone like that?

"Oi, stop complainin'. You wanna go on missions you gotta prepare yourself. You're too slow. Your defense's nothing but a laugh. And what happened to your endurance? Told ya I wouldn't go easy on ya like that fuckin' selfish stripper. He left, now you gotta put up with me."

It almost felt as if he was being an overzealous douchebag on purpose. As if saying _'That's what ya get for puttin' your trust in that icy ass!'_

"You're torturing me!"

"Don't be a pussy!"

They were fronting each other. After drilling some water make moves he remembered into her it was time for close combat. This whole forenoon sapped on her energy. Gajeel was one hell of an opponent. The only way to beat him from time to time was being smarter and faster than him - which wasn't the hardest of a task - but the second she didn't pay enough attention he could have easily smashed her if it wasn't for her body made of water. And she had reached her limits.

"Gajeel-kun, pleeeease. This ist but my second real training with you. I can't take it no more!"

"Fine. But only 'cause I'm hungry", he snorted.

They soon reached the guild and ordered a mix of different sides as to share and appease their hunger. Gajeel appreciated her progress and for him it was almost as if she was back to normal. He couldn't understand the fuss his guild mades caused. To him Juvia was Juvia. He had been worried in the beginning but the moment he walked in her apartment and she answered his teasing with yet a greater teasing but treated him nicely with homemade nibbles he relaxed. They bonded as naturally and fast as they did during Phantom Lord.

Only problem still remaining: Gray Fullbuster. In Gajeel's point of view that boy meant dire straits for Juvia. He's never been much esteeming in the past and he surely wasn't now. Three days ago Juvia had been standing in front of his front door, ashamed of what she was going to share with her only male close friend. Apparently, stripper jerk had left her for good after forging ahead in every bit of their reationship and her training. Details aside, Gajeel understood very well that Gray had taken advantage of his friend. Ever since he claimed that Juvia should leave him be. The farther and longer away he would be the better.

"Gajeel-kun, how are things going with Levy?", Juvia missed out on so much regarding her friend's life it was his turn to come clean.

"Just fine. Maybe we're gonna move in together." Move in together? That would be a huge step. Juvia was more than surprised to hear him say it in the most nonchalant way.

"Really? That's great! She didn't say anything at our sleepover."

"Cause she doesn't know. Haven't asked her yet." That giant piece of iron had a soft heart after all, Juvia could see it in the slight blush on his cheeks.

"Kyaaaa, I'm so excited for you! You have to tell me everything after you asked!" The Water Mage tangeled her fists in front of her chest and smiled from ear to ear at her company - Juvia being Juvia at its finest. _Gray that prick didn't deserve her from the start_ was what Gajeel thought.

"Yeah, whatever..."

As if awaiting their small talk to pause a voice from behind them attracted their attention.

"Juvia, is that you?" Juvia as well as Gajeel turned simultaneously. Gajeel had a piece of meat stuck out of his mouth by that moment and Juvia wondered who that voice belonged to with her brows arched.

"Hm?", was her response.

"It IS you! I found you, finally!" The man with the charmingly deep voice had brown messy back-gelled hair and beautiful iron blue eyes. But never in her life (of that she knew) had she met that guy. He approached the two of them lively with one of his hands in a waving movement. Was he from Fairy Tail? Should they know him? Gajeel was the first to ask questions after swollowing down his bite.

"And who are you? Ever been around?"

"Sure, you don't remember me. I'm-"

"WIN! Is it you?" Cana exclaimed from another table. She got up from sitting cross-legged and joined them, her hand never losing her hold of her mug of beer, of course.

"Hey Cana", greeted the man by the name of Win as it seemed.

"It's you! Juvia, this is Win. The one we helped out on our last job." Both Cana and Win stared down at Juvia. She felt uncomfortable. The piece of puzzle Cana gave her was not enough for her to understand why said guy would show up at Fairy Tail.

"Oh, nice to meet you, again I guess. I'm sorry I-",began Juvia. Fortunately, Win interrupted her.

"Don't be. I came to personally come and thank you guys. You had to leave so abruptly. It's a shame I didn't have the chance to show you around."

Juvia had to admit. This man truly was handsome. A bit taller than Gray but equally buff. He wore a loose white shirt, a tight black jeans with black boots that emphasized his leg muscles and leather bracelets around his wrists. And though he had tattoos all over his arms and a strong expression in his eyes he exuded calmness and brought her heart to skip a beat.

"I'm about to leave for a mission later this day but Juvia could show you around in Magnolia, right?" Juvia's eyes widened and she gave Cana a pleading look not to leave her alone with that man. But her stare back at Juvia stiffened as to say _'don't give me that, not gonna escape from this!'_

"Uhm, sure." Win obviousely delighted in her reply.

"That would be awesome. I have an appointment with your master but I'm all yours afterwards. And I have to buy you a meal. That's the least I can do to thank you."

Wait, what? That almost sounded like a _date._ And Juvia wouldn't do dating. She was still in a messed-up situation with Gray. But, it'd be rude to refuse, right? It was meant as a thankyou and he certainly seems to be a nice companion.

"Yeah. I'll go home change and come back waiting here."

 _'Oh Cana, I'm gonna kill you for making this up!'..._

Their first _date_ went smooth from the first moment. Win was so funny to be around. He made Juvia laugh on many occasions. Even while chewing which caused Juvia to choke on her bite and actually spit out a bit. But again - Win created a funny mood and she only felt embarrassed for a second. From time to time she got a glimpse of him biting his lower lip and staring at her for a bit too long before continuing to speak. It was irritating. No one had done that to her before. Was he trying to read her mind that hard? He even blushed once and had to avoid direct eye contact. If she didn't know better she would think he had a little crush on her. But that wouldn't suit his cool, confident and candid attitude. Yet again, there were brief moments of approach. Like his arm caressing her back while walking side by side. Or feeding her with his spoon so she could try his choise of order.

After four hours of strolling and filling up their rumbling stomachs Win asked Juvia to conduct her home. Not that he didn't trust her to be safe on her own (he had seen her fight and he would never dare to provoke her). He wanted their evening to carry on, that's all. She accepted unhesitatingly. She too enjoyed their time ever so. By the time they arrived at Fairy Hills Juvia turned to the side and they stood face to face. Win looked like he intended to say something and hid his hands in his pockets nervously.

"Juvia, I know I'm saying this again and again. But thank you. Really. You have no idea how much it means to me that my sister came back unharmed."

Their first topic had been their mission back in his hometown. How it passed off and most of all how grateful Win had been once he'd seen his little sister safe and sound.

"No problem. I'm happy I could help." Nevertheless, given the fact that he frequently accentuated that matter got Juvia goosebumps.

"And for your loss of memory. I'm sorry all the more that-" And there it was. She sighed. Nobody's perfect in the end. The bluenette lowered her head to the ground and nearly whispered.

"Don't! Just... don't. I'm tired of hearing it." Win immediately blamed himself and could have slapped himself in the face. He too stared at the bottom. It was the first time he saw her upset.

"I'm sor-. Fine."

The once so chilling atmosphere was screwed. Win fiddled with his inside pockets and prepared himself to say his goodbuye for good. Luckily, Juvia spoke first and eyed his shyly raised gaze.

"I didn't mean to be harsh. Sorry. It's just... The more people say it the more it reminds me that I'm incomplete the way I am. Today was really refreshing. You didn't make me feel like that at all. Thank you for that." Win felt relieved. A blushing and smiling Juvia was his favorite one.

"You're welcome. And let me add - you bestowed this wonderful day on me. Again, thank you for that. And you're not incomplete!" Win hesitated. Now that they were on good terms he could ask what was fretting him the whole evening. He straightened himself and blinked a few times before doing so.

"Say, there is one thing I was afraid to ask, but I have to. When you were on your mission I picked up the name Gray. You kept telling Cana you were so excited to see this person again. Is he some sort of relative? Or a boyfriend?"

That surprised Juvia and her lips parted. Mister Perfect HAD an interest in her and asked her about Gray? But how should she reply to this? If she put herself in Gray's shoes and he was asked about their status he'd say-... he'd say... he'd deny. He had run away from her. Of course he would negate that they were still boyfriend and girlfriend. It pained but it was the truth. If Gray wanted some space she'd give hin that and even more.

"No, none of the two. Not any more that is." Win arched his brows. He didn't mean to twist the knife in the wound.

"Oh, sorry-"

"No, it's ok. I'm over it", was what she asserted but her feelings were still tangled. Win constricted his eyes and decided Juvia at least wanted him to believe that she was okay about that guy. And who was he to talk about her ex-boyfriend?

"Ok, now that I know for sure..." The male mage took one step closer to his counterpart and gave her a stern look. Whatever he had to say was of severe importance to him.

"Juvia, you're so amazing. You're funny, you're brave, smart, caring. Gosh...", he giggled in embarrassment, "you're the most astonishing girl I've ever met."

 _'I'm WHAT?!'_ The gap between her lips widened and her cheeks reddened vehemently.

"I fell for you the moment I saw you. Without you we wouldn't have got anywhere. YOU accomplished that mission. And the way you look after your friends is so selfless. And you're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you."

 _'I can feel that. And it's overwhelming. Please stop saying those things. It's killing my ability to stand, to breath and to think.'_

"I know it's a bit early to ask but..." He looked at something very interesting behind her in order to find the words.

 _'But what?'_

"I would really like to..."

 _'To WHAT?'_ Win payed her and only her his full attention again.

"Can I kiss you?"

Their eyes met and Juvia's mind was working hard. The man in front of her had asked her to kiss? A bit ironic, wasn't it? It felt familiar but in a reversed way. This was in somehow a point of no return. She could either cling to her something she had or had not with Gray or she could just move on. Win was an honest guy. They had a good time and everything came about the most unbent way. And most of all - he took her the way she was, maybe because they haven't shared any history of important matter. Anything relevant about them happened that evening.

"Y-yeah", her lips moved on their own and Juvia startled at what she'd just said.

She told herself not to overthink it too much and not to leave that poor guy high and dry there. He became impatient and sweaty, she could tell. Juvia gulped and closed the space between them. She reached for his neck. Again she recognized that Win was taller than Gray and she had to stand up higher on tiptoes. Reciprocating, Win put his hands around her waist and brought her as near as he could. Their noses were the first to touch lightly. Their eyes closed by a snatch while their heads tried to find the right angle to enable their lips to kiss. When they finally did both of them closed their eyes. They devoted themselves to their intimate but timid and slow movement.

When they broke apart Juvia reached a conclusion. As she exchanged a sweet giggle with Win she knew that she could overcome Gray.

 _End of Flashback_

* * *

Mira used to observe many of Juvia and Win's interactions. One week had passed and the two started to act out their affection openly. The more she went on with her story the more Gray fought the urge to explode. Getting his shit together while Juvia obviousely got a new boyfriend during his absence was virtually impossible.

"Okay, thanks for the update. I'll be leaving." Gray knew what he'd do. With a sinister expression lingerind on his face he escaped that hella place of reunion.

"Gray, don't do anything stupid, kay?"

"Sometimes right and smart don't match that well."

"Gray...", but he was gone by that time.

Gray was angry and hurt. He had to fix this. It's only been three weeks or so. How far and deep could their _relationship_ possibly have gone? He knew her for more than three years. The hell he'd give up on that. He stormed out of the guild and wasted no time getting to Fairy Hills. His usual knocking went for a loud hammering at Juvia's door.

"Oh Gray, what are you doing here?"

The girl was visibly surprised. When she had passed the front gates of Fairy Tail she'd scrambled for the power to normally breath again. Faking that disposition had been rough on her. Her last interaction with Gray had been too unpleasant. Thank Mavis Win had approached them. She felt safe near him, and not only for an instant but entirely secure. She was dead certain whom she belonged with. And that someone was not Gray, so why would he search her out?

She held a cup of tea in her hand and sipped at it after questioning him. Gray ogled all of her body and recollected himself of his purpose.

"I changed my mind. It can't wait. We need to talk. Can I come in?"

"Ahm, okay." She stepped aside for her uninvited guest to enter. Gray had lost his shirt (of course) by that time but Juvia didn't bother to address it. He gnashed his teeth and looked her deep in the eyes. His heartbeat dashed. He had to calm down or else he would choose the wrong words. If only his heart-head-mouth communication worked and didn't fail miserably.

"What the fuck was that?"

"What do you mean?" Juvia bowed her head to the side and appeared rather unfazed with her brows knitted in confusion. Gray felt like a ticking bomb again. How could she?

"Oh no, don't you dare play dumb. You know what I mean."

"You mean Win?" Juvia again sipped at her tea.

"Fuck, yes!" To see him infuriated like that pleased her in a way. She had to suppress a giggle but decided to let it out when he was gone nevertheless. Still, it was bizarre as well. Sure. She could have avoided that kiss in front of Gray. But in no case would she adjust her behavior to his moody reactions. And why was he acting like that in the first place? It was so not him.

"Well, a lot happened. And to be honest I didn't expect of you to even talk to me. Remember? _You_ left _me_." Gray gulped. But he knew she'd accuse him of that.

"Ok stop there. I- you-. We were going too far, you know."

"Could have made that up your mind before you started to squeeze my boobs or my ass." Offended, Juvia turned her sight to her left.

"Look, Juvia. I had a lot of time to think. I-" That was the final straw. She didn't allow him to even finish but defended herself in a loud voice.

"Me too. And I think it's best for us to move on. We were trying so hard to make it work but it doesn't. And you pressed me into believing I had to remember for the sake of us, for the sake of me. Turns out. No. I do NOT have to. It's not that I don't like you as a friend no more. It's-"

Gray offered her the same treatment and cut her short.

"A _friend?_ Are you kidding me?" The tension and the heat in the room suddenly became torrid. They were both clenching their fists and gave another dirty looks.

"Are YOU kidding ME? We don't belong together, we-"

"Yes we do. The fuck with friends! I could never look at you as a friend."

It was so weird. And Gray was so hard to read. Was he angry or Jealous? If he didn't want to be friends then he could just go. Why interfere in her piece of luck? He was definitely not himself. Juvia took a deep breath and picked a gentler enunciation.

"Gray, please don't make this any harder." Her eyes craved for him to end this nonsense. But he either ignored it or connived as he sharpened his voice.

"I know you can be stubborn, but I'm more stubborn."

"What does that mean?"

"That I am NOT willing to hand you over." Okay, Gray was angry AND jealous. And it pissed Juvia off. He was in no place to act like that.

"I was never yours to begin with."

"You were. And whether you remember us or not - I will always care for you. You're the closest and most precious person to me. I-"

Angry and jealous AND sentimental? Juvia was afraid of what he could say. Or confess. It was over. She imagined him to return and to brush aside everything. And most of all - NOT to care if she was seeing someone else or not.

"Gray, sto-" He did not stop. At long last it was time to say it.

"I love you." His voice was full of certainty. He literally radiated aplomb. As if saying those words was one of his everyday item on the agenda. Juvia dropped her mug. She couldn't believe her ears. He made her melt there. Why did he still hold sway over her emotions?

"I loved the past you, I love your current you and I will always love you no matter what."

* * *

 **This story got me! I'm so impatient to finish it that I spend way too much time writing it :D**

 **I served you with a little progress on the part of Gray - hope it suits his personality.**

 **But to let you know - it's not going to be easy to convince Juvia :P**


	8. Role Swap

**Tragedy meets comedy! This one's gonna be quite amusing (well, that's what I hope!)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: Role Swap**

* * *

 **Present**

It was funny, really. Again, I made a fool of myself. I caught attention wherever possible. I gave her _boyfriend_ the most evil eyes I could. I went to bed thinking about her, I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was her pretty face. I took jobs at the same time she went on missions with Gajeel so our spare time coincided. As painful as it was to admit - I became HER stalker. I was fully aware of her habits, I knew when she had dates with Win (and where and for how long), I even followed her on her grocery shopping in case I could run into her. Ironic, how life goes... But she was worth it.

 **Twenty-one months earlier**

 **May**

"I love you." His voice was full of certainty. He literally radiated aplomb. As if saying these words was one of his everyday item on the agenda. Juvia dropped her mug. She couldn't believe her ears. He made her melt there. Why did he still hold sway over her emotions?

"I loved the past you, I love your current you and I will always love you no matter what."

Internalizing his words didn't help at all to cool the unbearable tension in Juvia's apartment. Why would he say that? Why now? Her mouth as well as her eyes became dry. Seconds passed and Juvia couldn't manage to even blink. Her heartbeat raged. She trembled with every limp. And Gray? He just stood there. Like a bastion of calm. No chut, no fear, no stir. Nevertheless, he awaited an answer. Though he bestowed time on her she had to give him one. Juvia moistoned her lips and bobbed up. Unfortunately, her rejoinder was rather feeble.

"You're crazy." Well, she pointed out the obvious. It was crazy for Gray to show up telling her nonsense like that.

"I know." His solid state loosened. He put his hands in his pockets and grinned. It incensed Juvia instantly. This was not a game. She felt uncomfortable and he possessed the audacity to turn her into ridicule?

"Why would you say that?" Hearing her ask that angered Gray a bit. He had unburdened his heart to her and she questioned him? In return Gray punished her with silence. Instead of elaborating on it he went by her to pick up a handful of tissues Juvia retained on a dresser next to her front door. He came back, got a hold of her dropped mug and began to clean up her mess. Still squatting at her feet he finally gave her a reply.

"Because it's true."

"That's lame." _'Lame?'_ Gray lost his patiense. He got up and stared her deep in the eyes, their chests only a slit apart.

"It's not! I'm being honest here! Don't you think it's easy for me to open up like this."

Juvia took a step back as if his words had pushed her with its heavy meaning. Unable to speak, she waited for him to continue.

"Look, it's sudden. I know. And I don't expect you to buy it for no reason. I'll prove it. And sooner or later you'll realize that your mine. And that I'm yours."

Whit that said Gray decided it was the moment to leave. He had come, he had confessed and he would afford time for Juvia to let his speech sink in. He gifted her a brief smile and then exited her home. What he left behind was a dumbfounded Juvia. Gray had come rushing in her apartment - positive. He had been vaxed, to say the least, about her relation to Win - more than positiv. He had confessed his love for her? Uncertain. What she certainly couldn't was abiding what had happened on her own. She had to talk to someone about her encounter with Gray. And that someone had to be a female friend before her upcoming date with Win that evening.

* * *

"You know him better than me, so what the hell was that all about?" Needless to say, Juvia seeked Lucy's and asked her for advice. They ensconced themselves on her bed and drank tea. To make her long story short Juvia battered her blonde friend with the facts. She had started something new with a guy named Win she knew from her last mission with Cana and Gray had seen them together only to surprise her afterwards with his confession.

"Wow, slow down. What? He finally said it? And you're seeing someone else? " Lucy had to set aside her mug. That was some news! Her eyes widened into big 'O's'.

"Lucy, please. I need your help. Why did he say that now? I'm so confused..." It was only natural for Juvia to be baffled - that the blonde knew. Gray's never been one to fathom unproblematically.

"I know him longer but not better. He's always been inexplicable about his feelings."

"Doesn't justify his behavior. He's been a raving idiot!" Hearing that pleased Lucy. It was time for Gray to man up and fight for his girl.

"Because he was afraid to lose you. What I do know is that the two of you have been through so much... I could never picture one of you with someone else."

"I told you, I'm with Win now and I'm happy." It sure was Juvia who said that. Still, the meaning of those sentences was so unlike Juvia. Like raindrops falling from the bottom up or the sky being red.

"I still can't believe that you got yourself a boyfriend while we were on our mission. Are you sure that you're happier with Win than you could be with Gray? You seemed to have a connection albeit your memory loss." If this continued Lucy assumed the guild to split into two opposing camps: one pro-Gray and one con-Gray. She'd take the side of the first one like Erza or Mira. But there was Gajeel and with Gajeel Levy, Lisanna and others that just liked to mess with Gray.

"Of course I am! He's never queried my mental improvement, I really like to spend time with him, he's kind and funny and handsome and hot." This was concerning were the blonde's thoughts to that.

"I know it's a bit early to ask, but do you love him?"

"I hate that word... What I know is that I feel more comfortable around him than I have felt with Gray."

"Okay, if that's how you feel. But now that he actually said that he loves you I don't think he'll let it be. He's hardheaded."

"Yeah, he said something about not giving up..." Maybe there was a good part in this. Lucy grinned and concluded Juvia was not that depressed by the idea of Gray dangling after her, too.

"This is absolutely hilarious! Gray chasing after you and you being ignorant. I wonder if he's going to do crazy stuff like you did..."

"What do you mean?"

"You have no idea how crazy in love you were with him. You made him bento, breads and other nibbles, some of them with your or his face on it. You generally made presents for him. And you were so jealous of like every female you spotted - even me. To be honest, I'm glad you don't see me like that at all any more. You could become quite scary. You clung to him at any given opportunity. The list is endless."

"And the plushies, I know. Spare me!"

Gray'd wangle her, one way or another. But until that moment came he could suffer a bit and for once wrestle for something emotionally important to him.

"Be ready to be ensnared!"

* * *

When Win had come over Juvia and him had decided to dedicate themselves to their laziness. A lot had happened and Juvia's only purpose was to lie on top of her beloved one's chest and relax. They were in their underwear between her sheets but they had never gone as far as to touch each other underneath. The girl knew better. After what occured with Gray in the river she was careful to not fall for her sexual desires all too fast. Thinking of which. She'd not talked about _that_ with Win yet.

"Win, there's something I have to talk to you about." In order to not worry him too much she kept caressing his chest with circling movements of her fingers. His body tensed nevertheless. Win had formed an idea of the person named Gray. Juvia had told him everything.

"It's about that Gray, isn't it? If his eyes could have physically harmed me I'd have stabs all over my body." Win chuckled lightly but he remembered his eyes on him very well. Juvia's ex-boyfriend was no one to kid around.

"He payed me a visit this noon."

"And?" Juvia gulped a lump down her throat before proceeding.

"And he... kinda... told me that he loved me..." It was out. Win could either make a fuss about it or...

"Kay... How do you feel about it?" Or he asked her about her feelings? Juvia was, to say the least, impressed with his maturity and empathy. Well, how did she feel? She din't prepare herself for that. She had to think for a moment.

"A bit pranked. All of a sudden to confess like that..."

"You don't have any feelings for him any more?"

"No, of course not! I offered him friendship but I'm afraid he might be a bother. I don't think he likes to lose in any sort."

"Again, as long as you know where you stand I'm fine. You can take care of yourself and I trust you. But if he tries anything funny, you'll tell me, right?"

Wow, just wow. Win was nothing like Gray. She had arrived at the right decision. Win already made her a lucky and happy woman. That one was for sure. She clung to him even tighter and gave him a kiss on his neck.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Not for that."

* * *

Moment of embarrassment No° One:

He had it all planned right down to the last detail. Gray would bide awhile until Win had left for some business in Crocus (thank Mavis Mira had kept him current) and by that time he could pursue his center of interest: Juvia Lockser. And that day had come. It was hard not to flip out, especially when Juvia and that son of a bitch Win were acting all lovey-dovey in front of everyone. But he convinced himself that it wouldn't last long because it could never ever be as serious as what he had with Juvia. And now that he could have Juvia's attention all to himself he was pretty optimistic he could change her mind.

First step in accomplishing his goal was finding her. He'd casually walk over to her, ask her out for a walk when night will have taken over and escort her home. He knew that by that night around ten pm there would be plenty of shooting stars to watch. Not his thing, really, but Juvia would surely like it. It was a Friday evening and Juvia had acquired a habit of drinking one or two (or three) beers on Fridays and leave around half past nine as she'd train with Gajeel on Saturday mornings. It would help him out if she was a bit tipsy. Not that he'd ever take advantage of her. But who'd spurn a little help? So far so good. Finding her at the guild was of no problem. He sat next to her and stepped in whatever topic she was having with Erza and Lisanna. As expected, she greeted him with a sweet smile. She indeed was a kind-hearted person. He had created a scene a few days ago and she still sticked to her suggestion of being friends. If only she knew that Gray had other plans with their arrangement.

When Juvia gave the impression she was buzzed enough for that night Gray proposed taking her home. Being the gentleman he was *cough* he wouldn't want her to go home alone, would he? She gladly accepted and even tucked her left arm into Gray's while walking through the streets. In contrast to their last meeting she was comfortable around him again. And she let him know her cognizance.

"So, everything's back to normal?" Her cheeks had a tinge of red and Gray didn't miss to notice that when they held eye contact.

"Clarify _normal_."

"Well, we can hang out as friends without any weird tension." Cute, innocent Juvia really thought they went back to _normal_.

"Hey, I don't go back on my words. If friendship is the only thing I'll ever get from you - that's what I'll take. But I'll always want more."

Juvia froze to her spot and let go of Gray's arm. Why did he have to exacerbate their situation?

"Gray...you-", Juvia intended to object but her gaze caught a bright light flashing through the night sky from the corner of her eyes, "MAVIS, DID YOU SEE THAT?"

"What?" The bluenette pointed to her right where she had caught the glimpse of meteor and Gray followed her gesture.

"There was a shooting star!"

" _Really?_ " Gray chuckled. One second the girl next to him was about to argue with him and the next she was all excited - only because of some stupid light in the sky.

"ANOTHER ONE!" He watched her as her sparkling eyes reflected the stars because of their fascinating effect on her. She really was something, with her easily thrilled character by the smallest things. He could study her like that for an eternity. Her bright eyes, her tangled fingers in front of her chest, her mouth agape. However, his grinning vanished when she recollected her being and gave him a strong look. Something was bothering her, something got her suspicious.

"Gray, did you plan this?" Gray had to instantly laugh out loud. Another change of personality in between seconds. She looked ridiculous with her cheeks burning up and her accusing face. Who was he fooling, he had planned it and she knew it. Though, he'd not concede defeat.

"No comment." In response to his vacuous yet informative statement Juvia pouted and crossed her arms. She hated him for that - always playing with her. He went past her and lay down on a meadow behind her, his arms crossed behing his head.

"You wanna sit and watch for a moment, right?"

"Yeah..." She sit, and not lay, next to him and had to admit that it was a wonderful and very thoughtful idea of him to trick her. She enjoyed to watch the shooting stars and was greatly thankful.

"Thank you."

"You know, you're allowed to lie down on my chest if you want to. Better view." Gray smirked and tapped his chest, invitingly. Juvia, not really impressed, penalized him with dismissive eyes.

"Nice try, Gray." It was worth a try! And she blushed so that one ended in a draw. Gray was satisfied so far. He presented her a night full of shiny stars - which made her happy - which made him happy. Could have gone way worse. If only his stomach didn't call for attention at that moment. It was true - one may praise the day in the evening, or in that case, the evening at night.

 _'Fuck. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK! What the hell is happening?'_

Unfortunately, Gray had dinner with Natsu and Happy. And unfortunetly, Natsu liked anything spicy like beans with lots of tabasco. Gray had not thought that one through. And on the way was not only flatulence but his whole meal. He'd soon explode. And the result would not be funny.

"Ahm Juvia, I think I need to leave." Gray lay a hand over his abdomen as if the soft contact soothed anything. His expression cramped the same way his belly did.

"Are you all right?" He had to sit up, the pain worsened which worried Juvia.

"No, not at all. I uhm..." How could he explain that to her? This was embarrassing! He had to get out of there - the sooner the better!

"You look like you're suffering from cramps down there."

"Yeah, I'm- Fuck. Sorry, I really need to go."

"If you need to use a bathroom - my place is closer." He cursed her for reading him like a book. His ass he'd use her toilet. He could never face her again if he did.

"I don't want to- Ahhhhh!" Oh but it was urgent. He'd ruin his pants if he didn't find the next smallest room as soon as possible. "Okay, yeah. Let's go to your place. Fast."

How could something that had started off so well end up in a mess like that? Maybe because it involved him - Gray Fullbuster. He was one unlucky bastard with the girl he liked, or loved as it standed. They almost ran towards her front door. He needed a toilet, badly! He could feel it coming! When he locked himself in he had to get rid of the girl standing on the other side of the door. He appreciated her quick reaction but he'd be damned if she witnessed anything that took place behind that closed door.

"Do me a favor and listen to some music, or go outside - I don't care. Just, leave me alone here, 'kay?" His desperate voice however bothered her even more.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"JUVIA, LEAVE ME ALONE. PLEASE. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR EARS AND MY PRIDE!" She flinched at his harsh words but did as she was told. She kept the largest distance to her bathroom possible and turned her music up. And she waited. Thirty minutes she waited 'till Gray stepped out of her bathroom. She approached him and was surprised by his condition. He was sweaty, reddened and all around exhausted, as if he'd completed a marathon. Furthermore, he avoided her eyes.

"I am so, so, so sorry." Juvia found it sweet that he'd apologize to her for that. It was a bit awkward, yes, she'd have died if it had been her to be honest. But Gray was a guy and she decided it was rather cute how ashamed he was.

"Don't be. It happens." _'No, this kinda thing should NOT happen at a night like this. And don't serve me with that smile of yours. You'd not wear that expression if you knew what I've done to your facilities... All 'cause of that flame ass!'_

"I'm gonna kill Natsu. Shouldn't have eaten that trash he calls food."

"Are you alright again?" As a matter of fact he's never felt more released any time before. Yet, this whole incident, or rather accident, was a pain in the ass, literally.

"Yes, but. Uhm. Don't use your bathroom for the next sixty minutes. It's war zone..." Oh such a pain... He still couldn't face her directly.

"Thanks for the warning." Juvia giggled. She had to, he was adorable in her eyes and ears.

"Yeah, whatever. Imma go. Again, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt anything." Gray escaped, balls to the wall. Before Kami changed his mind and anything else humiliating happened... He only turned for a brief moment to say a proper good bye.

"It's okay. I had a great time. Thank you."

"See ya around. Bye."

"Bye. Have a good and cramp-free night." _'Great, she's already teasing me about it.'_

"Ha. Ha."

* * *

On his way back home Gray mulled things over, about this and that. Well, mostly Juvia of course. He wanted to be on the same page as her so badly. How hard could it be...

 _'I wonder how things would be right now if you haven't fallen victim to that damn spell. I'm not sure if I have told you that I love you by now. But I would've let you know at some point. I mean, I've loved you for quite some time now. Guess it happened when we lived together. You were so clingy in the beginning. I didn't even plan for you to stay by my side for that long. But you refused to leave and in the end I was glad you didn't. We grew together so fast. It was crazy, now that I think about it from this point of view. But I was too blind. Too ignorant. I had other priorities. Which led me to leave you. How could I leave you without saying goodbye?_

 _I really regret that one - you shouldn't have forgiven me that so easily._

 _And that call... Why didn't I call you like I promised? Nothing of this would have happened in the first place. I'd go home with you in my arms, propably, hopefully! And we would've had sex by now! I'm very positive about that one. We just fit together perfectly. Iny each and every way. And now look at me. I'm pathetic. I miss you in so many ways and complain. Yet I wasn't able to make one single call._

 _Another regret - it should've been me, not you!_

 _If it had been me - how would've that turned out to be for us? If I lost my memories and you'd be the one now convincing me? I' certainly fall for you again, especially if I lost my fears and insecurity. I'm only like this because I'm afraid of losing - no excuse - but that's how it is. You'd do a much better job winning me over than I'm doing at the moment._

 _What goes around, comes around... Only you don't deserve any of this.'_

* * *

Juvia lay sleepless for quite some time as well, absorbed in her thoughts.

 _'Oh Gray... what do I do with you? I wish you'd just leave the thought of us together aside. I like you too much. I don't want to shun you. We should be able to figure things out, shouldn't we? I don't want to be between you and Win and I don't want Win and me standing between you and me. Is that hypocritical? Is that too much to ask? It could work, right? Today proves it! It was nice of you to walk me home and watch the shooting stars, even if you crashed my restroom afterwards. Or did you only do it because you still have an interest in me? Would you back off for good if you realized you have no chance? That would be sad. I don't want to lose you..._

 _Wait, lose? What are you thinking, Juvia! You barely even know him! And you have Win. That should be enough. Don't be greedy and selfish. You dumbed him, you'll do it again and he deserves to find his happiness. Pull yourself together. You'll pare the contact with Gray down to the minimum! At least after some time of enjoying it. Not fot too long, of course. But Lucy said it'd be alright. Like for his character's development that is...'_

Juvia passed out shortly after.

Little did she know that as soon as she slowly dropped off to sleep she would dream of rain, teru-teru-bozu dolls and a man that had washed away all her gloomy rain and tears...

* * *

 **So, first of, I don't know, at least three embarrassing moments for Gray. He has to suffer... and to disgrace himself.**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm in high spirits!**

 **Wanna finish this as soon as possible :)**


	9. Role Swap II

**As promised, more fun for you. Poor Gray :P**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Role Swap II**

* * *

Juvia took deep breaths, filling her lungs with cold refreshing air. Its smell reminded her of a forest shortly after it had been endowed with a heavy rainfall. When she opened her eyes she noted that she was indeed surrounded by woods. Moving around, absorbing her environment's characteristics wasn't easy, though. Her body wouldn't listen to her. Only in slow motion was she able to turn around and recieve an impression of the large trees around and the gray sky above her with no vital sign but hers. Where was she?

There was a footpath to her right. She managed to tell her legs to take her to the path and analyzed it. But following its directions to both ends didn't enlighten her at all - it flowed into nothing in the distance. The whole circumstances were too odd, she noticed. She lowered her gaze only to meet her pale hands. She had to make sure there was something about the situation that felt familiar and safe. She counted ten fingers - so far so good. Her blue hair then caught her attention. Yes, she had blue curly hair. And there was a small doll fixated on her collar. It looked like a little ghost, with a smile knitted on its face. Never had she ever seen such a thing - not that she knew of. But it appeared somewhat acquainted to her. Juvia relaxed and closed her eyes complacently. Suddenly, the air transformed even colder and heavier as if the girl could feel its weight on her shoulders. She opened her eyes and saw her breath form fume when exhaling. The daylight vanished and gave way for the darkness to take over, Juvia could barely see her hand in front of her face. It was scary. The bluenette whirled around only to convince herself that she was still alone in that forest that seemed to swallow her. What should she do? Where to flee? Hide behind a tree? Find a cave? The Water Mage panicked and in the end decided to run along the path in one of its directions - thank Mavis moving now was untrammelled and the path wasn't stony nor bendy.

Much to her discontent it began to rain. At first Juvia wasn't deeply impressed by the light drizzle. But moments later the outpouring metamorphosed into a lashing rainfall. The drops that ran down her bangs and face bothered her already corrupted faculty of seeing. Her clothes were drenched almost instantly. She felt it again - that indescribable fear that gave her not only physical but emotional shivers all over her body. What was there to fear? She was alone, wasn't she?...

Nevertheless, she put all her efforts into running, her pace gained speed. She was afraid that she could maybe slip and fall because of one of those many puddles. Her heartbeat raged and she started to whine into the night. Why was this happening to her? She didn't want to be alone, she wanted to meet someone, anyone! She ran and she ran. If she kept sprinting she'd encounter someone. Or that's what she hoped for. But the path she was following went on and on. There was no end to her torturous getaway. When the girl finally ran out of air and strenght she had to stop. Her legs wilted under her body's pressure and she fell down to her knees. Her whining turned into wailing and her small fragile figure was shaking. She lowered her head and felt her tears mix with the drops of the rain that kept on hitting her.

Juvia buried her fingers in the wet soil underneath her hands as if that action would take away the grave feeling of being lost and stabilize her. When had she ever felt that helpless and lonely in such a deserted place?

"Someone, please... Juvia... Juvia feels so lonely...", was what she lamented into the nothing, "why isn't there anyone to help Juvia?..."

"Juvia..." The girl startled. It was faint but it was there. There was a voice that had just called her name. The called girl gasped and had a look around. Her widened eyes searched for the source of the voice that could save her from that miserable situation.

"There someone?" But her sight didn't catch anything person-like. It was only her, the trees and the dark.

"Juvia." There. Again. That voice. It was a bit louder this time and she detected it to come from behind her. She turned around and there was in fact a man standing afar. Only seeing someone else made her sigh with relief. No matter who that person was but he stopped her crying then and there. And along with her teardrops went the rain. It calmed down and then disappeared completely. Her mouth formed a bright smile and the girl intended to catch up with the man that came to her rescue. With the rain now gone and her capability to see resumed she discerned that the man had dark, messy hair. But he was too far away for any details to make out.

"Juvia!" The man called for her a last time and then walked the path the other way. Why would he leave her?

"Wait! Please! Stay with Juvia!" The bluenette tried to stand but her legs hadn't yet regained full strenght. She stumbled back down to the ground. It couldn't be. She had to follow him before he'd be gone for good. She stretched out an arm and screamed for the man to listen to her.

"Don't go! Don't leave Juvia alone!" Her cries were filled with despair and shiftlessness. She had to make him stop and turn! It was useless, though. He was leaving her and there was nothing she could do to flee from being stuck.

Tears came back into her eyes as realization hit her.

"No! No! Don't go!" But she only watched the person melt into thin air.

"HAAAAA." Juvia let out a loud gasp. She stared at her ceiling and breathed heavily.

"What the... what was that?" She clutched her sheets tightly and recalled what had just happened to her. A terrible nightmare had taken over her and she'd felt completely lost. It was _that_ one again. But this time it was much scarier and darker. Lately, Juvia suffered from nightmares more often, mostly from ones where she was lost in some uninhabited place and sodden due to strong rain. It took her a moment to feel secure again. She was in her bedroom and she still wore the top and the shorts she had put on before going to bed last night. She turned her head to the left and checked the time. It wasn't even seven in the morning. But her head was killing her, she was full of vim, well in a bad way that is. No way could she go back to sleep. Juvia got up into a sitting position and covered her face with her hands. She needed a moment to let her nightmare pass and eventually calm down.

She shouldn't let that dream get the better of her. So she decided not to overthink its meaning and to forget it, as always. Maybe an invigorating shower would envelop her with a wrapper of normality again...

In order to kill time Juvia practiced her water magic, went back home and showered again, took care of some grocery shopping and cleaned her rooms spick and span. Gajeel was out on a mission with his girlfriend and Win wouldn't return to Magnolia for another two weeks. As Team Natsu had gone out on a mission as well Juvia was bored stiff. She could take a job herself if she wasn't that pusillanimous. But checking the board wouldn't hurt. If she was lucky to find an easy one-day job maybe she'd trust herself to accomplish it.

The Water Mage arrived at the guild and was soon greeted by Mirajans's bright inviting smile.

"Hey Juvia, what's up?"

"Hey Mira, have you got any job for me? Like an easy one I can finish today?"

"Sorry, not right now. There'll be new jobs tomorrow."

"Too bad. I'm sooo bored."

"Well, if you're that languid maybe I have a special task for you..."

* * *

Moment of embarrassment No° Two:

The special job Mira had commissioned Juvia to do required taking care of Gray. Apparently, the Ice Mage had canceled his mission early because of an injury which left him bedridden and unable to do anything. When Juvia had asked for details Mira only answered her that Gray had hurt his bottom. Gray really had a rough ride, she thought. She headed back home, packing in ingredients she had bought that day, and then made her way to Gray's. She guessed he wouldn't eat anything healthy, if anything at all as for his circumstances. She knocked on his door once and was immediately answered.

"It's open, just come in." She did so and met his eyes as he was lying on his sofa, watching a movie or something.

"Hey."

"Juvia! Hey... Whadda ya doin' here?" Gray seemed surprised. He certainly did not expect her to show up. He tried his best not to bandy his condition around. It was a pain in the ass, AGAIN (!), that he embarrassed himself in such a pathetic way. Juvia on the other side didn't catch any of that. He seemed surprised by her sudden appearence but not injured, rather relaxed with crackers and sweets all over his sofa, wearing a casual shirt and a blanket covering his lower body. Juvia felt at a loss. Maybe he was doing alright and didn't need her help at all. She stepped inside and closed the door but remained near the entrance in case he wanted her to leave.

"I heard the news. I wanted to check on you. You hurt your butt?" Juvia's grip on the bag she carried tightened. Was he angry with her? His expression sure was...

"Tailbone, not butt."

"So, how are you doing?"

"What do you expect someone to be doin' when his ass hurts like hell anytime he wants to sit, to sleep or to walk around?" This was bad. Of all people it had to be his crush to show up and see him in this painful setting. He averted his eyes after almost yelling at her. He was cheesed with himself. For being so stupid and reckless and falling down on his behind which caused Natsu to die of laughter. He didn't need Juvia to see him like this, too.

"So you did hurt your butt." And here she went again, making fun of him. How dare she!

"I got my tailbone bruised!" _'Are you doin' this on purpose? Makin' things worse when they already are sore for me?'_ Gray felt like a pitiful mope who had to sit on an orthopedic seat cushion as to ease his ache the best way possible. Teasing him wasn't funny at all. He locked her eyes again and was about to lecture her about her nasty behavior. But the sad expression in her face told him quite the opposite was the case. She had said she wanted to check on him and she really intended to do so.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wreak my anger on you. I'm just a bit fickle." Hearing his gentle excuse eased her mood. Juvia took a few stepps closer to Gray and sat down on an armchair next to him.

"Anything I can help you with?" Gray examined her for a moment. She was being honest with him and offered her support with a sweet smile at him.

"Well, you do have eyes, right?" Their glances went around his living room and Juvia spotted clothes lying all over the place, packings of instant meals and other garbage on his table, the sink full of dishes. All together Gray's apartment was a mess!

"Okay, so basically, you need everything do be done."

"It was a joke. You don't have to do anything, you know...", but since Juvia was already at his place Gray thought he could play on his misery, "but if you're free to make me something to eat I'd appreciate that. It's hard to even pee, believe me."

"Sure." Her smile became wider and Gray blushed a bit. She truly was a nice girl. And whether she meant to effect those feelings inside of him or not he felt them - booby butterflies in his stomach. He pursued her body and watched her doing her business in his kitchen instead of the movie he had previously watched. It was much more interesting listeing to her humming and observing how she was preparing food for him. For HIM. Not for that slimy Mr. Handsome she called her boyfriend. Oh how well that benefited his ego!

She'd made them a stew with lots of beef and vegetables in it. It looked like the most salubrious meal he had eaten in months. And it was delicious, too!

"This is amazing."

"There's plenty more in your fridge. So you only need to warm it up." ' _Seriously, how perfect can a girl be?'_

"Thanks, you're the best!", that was what Gray genuinely believed. She was best at being a housewife (he already knew that from their time living together), she was best at cooking (though baking made her break out in sweat from time to time), she was the best looking girl he had ever met, she was hell of an opponent if she got emotionally hurt - she'd do anything for her loved ones... The list went long.

"You know, I'm kinda bored. You don't mind if I cleaned up your place a bit?" _'And here she goes, Mrs. Fullbuster to be strikes again'_

"Go for it if that's what you wanna do." And she did. She cleaned his kitchen, she took care of his trash, she assisted him with taking him to the bathroom for a shower and she picked up all his clothes in order to wash them. When she entered his bedroom to look for more clothes she giggled and Gray didn't miss it. It was a suspicious giggle and he didn't like it especially when it came out of his bedroom.

"What's the matter?" She snickered again and then replied.

"Nothing, sorry. Just found your latest achievment's underwear."

"What?" Not by any means was it possible for her to find any girl's underwear at his place. He made sure to never hook a girl up and take her to his apartment. He had always gone to them. It was much easier to sneak out in the morning that way. Let alone his slutty single life lay back in the past. Which meant that those underwear could only be...

"Oh that... that's actually... yours..." His voice was low but loud enough to catch Juvia's attention. She entered the living room again and questioned him with her eyes and her mouth wide open.

"WHAT?"

"Remember? I'm your ex-boyfriend. When we were together you brought a box and some belongings to have them here. No big deal. You can have'em back." She closed her lips and gulped. Sure, they had been intimate with one another before. Of couse there'd be some of her belongings at his place since she had never considered to get them back due to her loss of memory. Still,...

"Then why isn't MY underwear in said box but underneath YOUR bed?" She crossed her amrs and gave the sweating man an offending look.

 _'Cause I'm a horny perv and used them to turn me on?'_ But Gray chose other words, smarter and less gross ones. Thankfully, he didn't stammer but for once got his shit together.

"Don't know. As you can see I'm not that tidy. Maybe it's been there for months."

Contented, or to be precise, fobbed off, Juvia returned to her work. She gave up questioning him more. She knew when to stop pushing someone and Gray focused back on the screen as to avoid her. Bringing up their failed relationship wasn't exactly sympathetic in addition to his injury. Processing her housework at Gray's kept her busy the whole day. In between times she bore Gray company but it was soon evening and the girl collapsed on the sofa next to Gray.

"So, I've done anything I could find to do."

"I don't pay you, just so you know. You did it of your own free will." Gray leered at her and Juvia answered with reddened cheeks.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask for that. I was actually bored to death, so..."

"Wanna stay for a movie then? There's not much for me to do either. Company is more than welcome." Juvia scanned Gray's face. Should she give in to his appealing eyes and his lewd smirk? She recalled Win's words... _I trust you, but if he tries anything funny..._ But it wasn't anything funny. He could barely move not to mention hitting on her. And she enjoyed his company as well.

"Sure. Why not."

Why not she had asked. Why not spend some more time with the guy that's chasing after you? They had converted the sofa into a bed and lain next to each other. Only problem: It's been way too compfortable to stay awake and they had dozed off. Juvia woke up, her left hand tangled with Gray's right one. He was lying on his back and Juvia on her left side, her head resting between his shoulder and his neck. It was tedious to open her eyes, the lurid fluttering pictures of the TV peeving her as the only source of light.

"Gray?" Her voice was still rough from her sleep and she had to call his name again and shake him so as to wake him up.

"Gray!" It was then when she noticed that she was touching his bare skin. She was impressed, really. He had yammered how painful it was to move around and yet he'd managed to take off his shirt during his sleeping. When he startled and groaned before answering her she let go of his hand and backed away a bit. They were far too close for her liking.

"What?" He looked to his side and they stared at each other. They still lay very close and Juvia could hear his breathing and feel it on her hand that rested on his shoulder. Her mouth went even dryer and she scrutinized his dark eyes that were inspecting her as well. She watched his nasal wings widen with every breath and then wandered to his lips. She remembered them all too well. They were thin but very soft and he knew how to use them to make her moan. Her body instructed her to move nearer and unite them with hers. She'd like to touch his cheek in support and close her eyes and fuse their tongues and jump on top of him and play with his messy hair and-

"Juvia?" The sudden appearence of his voice in her ears made her blink and come back to reality. She removed her hand from his shoulder and flinshed even more causing their only blanket to loosen around her. In response she shivered from the abrupt loss of his and her body heat.

"We dropped off... what time is it?" Gray grabbed the zapper to his left and checked for the time on the screen. Juvia watched him nervously.

"Ah... it's almost midnight." That late? But who could blame her. Last night had not been restful at all. However, it was time to leave.

"Darn. I should go. Sorry, I didn't mean to-", but Gray interrupted and locked her gaze at him again.

"It's late. You can stay. Here..." He afforded her access to the cover in order to huddle up against him. She hesitated. This was wrong. How would she feel if Win cuddled with another woman, much less thought of doing nasty things to someone else?

"I won't try anyting. I promise. Can't move anyway." He offered her a light smile and awaited her answer. It was indeed late. And she was so tired. If she was honest she didn't want to leave at all. And she wouldn't try anything, too. She'd be damned if she did. After all she had been sex-starved, well making-out-starved more likely, for quite some time. She had only thought of kissing Gray because of her hungry libido and the man next to her was adorable and gorgeous. Nothing more, nothing less.

"O-Okay", she accepted his invitation and snuggled up to her place from before, "good night."

"Night."

Gray turned off the TV, moaned here and there until he found the best position and carefully seeked Juvia's fingers again after she had come back to his side. Holding hands comforted him and obviousely her as well. They soon flaked out.

Gray and Juvia woke up the next morning simultaneously. Disturbed by the light that shone right into their faces their eyes fluttered until they both opened them only to cover themselves, Gray with his left arm and Juvia in the depths of his neck.

"Morning, Juvia." But her reply was hardly more than a groan. Deep inside he agreed with her. If it wasn't for the lights in his room he'd appreciate more time in bed, too. First and foremost because it was her who lay next to him. Also, it was their first time sharing a night and a bed. Gray wondered if her sleep had been as peaceful as his. He didn't know when he had last slept that well. This felt so real, so right. Like they were a couple. Gray perceived that their breathing pace was the same, running synchronously. The spot where her right hand rested on his chest felt tingling warm, almost too warm according to his aversion for heat. Summarized, this morning was the most perfect morning ever. If only his bladder called any time later...

"Hey, can you get up and help me up? I need to pee." Another groan escaped her throat, seemingly not happy with his request.

"Can't you hold it in for a moment?"

"Nope."

"Kay..." The bluenette sat up and stretched herself. When he thought the morning couldn't get any better he was amazed at her beauty, with her hair all messy and her tired half-closed eyes. During her stretching he got a glimpse at her belly which made her shiver with cold. Evidently, she wasn't wearing a bra, Gray watched her nipples harden which caused something else down his body to stiffen as well. He inhaled deeply and kept ogling her for a few more seconds. Ultimately, he had to leave. Being horny in addition to his impaired tailbone didn't match well. Just when Gray was about to pull away the blanket Juvia leaned forward. She was ready to help him up but something unexpected surprised her when Gray had removed the cover.

"AHHH. GRAY!" Juvia coated her eyes in an instant and Gray was paralyzed from shock when he lowered his look.

"Oh Fuck, sorry." What had scared the hell out of Juvia was Gray's fully exposed body, no shirt, no pants.

"You're sick. You know that, right?"

"Hey don't be mean. I'm wounded, not sick. And it's a bad habbit, 'kay? I do it unconsciously... Now help me find my boxers. It's safe, you can open your eyes." Gray's lower body was hidden under the blanket again and Juvia sweeped for his dark blue boxers if she remembered correctly. How had he been able to undress anyway? That guy was a mystery sometimes... Anyway, Juvia prompt found his boxers at the end of the sofa, at Gray's feet and bended over to take it. Bad idea, much to her regret. Gray's eyes widened because he gained a great insight into her spread legs from behind. And she only wore her shirt and panties. Gray wasn't the only one to shake off his pants after all...

"Here...Found it."

"Nice view." Juvia didn't miss the wolfish undercurrent in his voice and winced. Back in a sitting position she threw the boxers in her hands right into Gray's face, her expression dominated by an angry look. She even insulted him in the process.

"Oh shut up, you're the stripper here!"

"AHHH!" Gray was astonished that a smooth fabric as his pants could hit him like that. And had she called him _stripper_? Damn Iron Slayer...

"Where did your kindness go? I liked you more yesterday." Gray faked a hurt look, kindling compassion for her part but Juvia was dressing by that time.

"I'm leaving. Best of luck with answering the call of nature."

"Hey, don't go now. I need your help." But she was gone already.

* * *

 **June**

By the time Gray had fully recovered he felt another sickness come across - the sickness of not standing the heat. Due to his incapacity of walking straight he hadn't left his house. But that day he did. He was in high spirits! Even so, the weather was slaying him. He was simply not used to walk around in the bright light. The only time he had seen the sun directly was when he had woken up next to Juvia. It's been at least a week since he last met her. She went out for some missions and his team mates humored him for that period of time. He could probably meet her at the guild if he was happy. And clear things up. They sorta had a fight last time...

He was lucky to actually encounter her. She sat on a table, alone, reading a magazine... The perfect victim!

"Hey", she winced and rose her eyes to look at the person that had sat down in front of her out of the blue, she answered the same and paused for him to go on. Gray looked like having something on his mind.

"You're still mad at me?" She tilted her head. She had no idea what he was talking about.

"Mad?", she questioned.

"Yeah, for, you know... that morning when I was..." That morning? That morning... When had she last shared her time with Gray?... A few more seconds passed and then it clicked, Juvia recollected the scenario.

"Oh _that_. Don't be silly. I never really was. But you should work on that habit. It was a bit inappropriate..." She had not been mad, no. Rather out of her depth. She had hurried to bolt because of her smutty mind and her queasy consciouse.

"I gave up on that a long time ago... You're hungry? I gotta make up for your cooking."

"You don't have to. Besides, I'm not that hungry."

"But I want to. And we can share if you're not that hungry. I'm starving."

"Fine, surprise me. I'll eat whatever you go for."

When Gray returned to Juvia's table he took a seat next to her instead of the other side. For what he had planned she'd need his assistance. Juvia wasn't even surprised when Gray placed his plate down in front of her and smirked. It was a caramade frank.

"Really?", she affected a laugh.

"Really! Wanna have the first bite? I'll hold it for you."

They had a great time. He fed her, she reported her last mission, they laughed about the most stupid things, teasing each other, flirting... Well, Gray was certainly flirting. Complimenting her on her long hair, admiring her regained strenght in order to take down yukky, nasty bandits on her own, fondling her back. Hell was he in love with that girl. Not even two weeks apart and he recognized how much he had missed her. If he could go back in time and tell his past self how deep in love he would fall with Juvia one day he'd scoff at himself. Now he would make any effort to win her over. And judging by her reciprocation he was close to achieve that goal. They sat so near their legs touched. Everytime they locked eye contact it lasted for a great amount of time. Neither of them pulled back because of discomfort. If they parted it was because Juvia would point at an article in her magazine or someone greeted them from the side. It would be so easy to kiss her at that very moment. Though, he should be careful about such matters, they meant walking on thin ice.

"Can I ask you something?", Gray intended to make his move at a slow pace, just to be on the safe side.

"Sure, go ahead." His heartbeat quickened, it bashed against his inner chest like a hammer. Her expression held promise, yet he was nervous, downright antsy! He could do it. He would do it. As soon as he'd make clear that she indeed rediscovered her feelings for him they would allow their passion and relationship to rouse. He could almost feel her mouth on his.

"What am I-"

"Juvia!" Both Fairy Tail Mages looked up in the direction of the front gates. A male voice had called for Juvia and she was fast to reply.

"Win!" She leaped to her feet and ran towards the man standing by the entrance.

"-to you..."

His voice died out. Gray observed the reunited couple in shock. His stare congealed and his body temerature plummeted as he watched the girl that possessed his heart jump at another man. He didn't need an answer any more. It was clear that whatever seemd to flare between them or vibe with her was all his imagination. It broke his icy heart that the one girl he used to push away for so many years now dumped him and chose to kiss that lucky bastard's lips instead of his.

* * *

 **I think this one was my longest chapter :)**

 **It is so cute and supportive that many of you give me reviews for almost every chapter. That's pretty cool! Thanks for that.**

 **Btw I'm gonna fit another "funny/embarrassing" Gruvia moment in one of the upcoming chapters (not the next one perhapt. I'm not sure how long I will take to deal with a now deeply depressed Gray). Any ideas? I'm open.**

 **Hope you liked it, see ya :)**


	10. Past

**I guess what this story needs, what Gray and Juvia need and what you guys need is a little progress. So, here it is.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten: Past**

* * *

 **July**

Snowy wind brushed her skin, slowly but with all its icecold might which led to shivers all over the Water Mage's body. Juvia trembled in every limb. But there was something else deathly cold surrounding her body, around her neck to be exact. It wasn't the chilly breeze, it was something solid and tight. It was a chain! She grabbed it firlmy with both her hands and followed its direction. At the further end was another person caught in that threatening pitfall. They exchanged frightened glances. She knew that person. She knew that man. It was her Gray-sama. And they were in the middle of a fight. In a fight to the death, at least for one of them as their vile opponent told them.

 _'What is happening to Juvia...'_

"Juvia...", said the other person.

"Gray..."

They both tore at the chain but it didn't crack one bit. Her counterpart's mien darkened and so did her own. Her head was aching and not listening to her. It had control over her body's movements. It told her figure to fight at all costs.

 _'Why isn't Juvia's body listening to her? Juvia doesn't want to fight Gray-sama!'_

But she did. Their first clash ended in both of them being thrown back. Juvia flinched. Her skin smarted. Her face. Her hands. What was happening? Her heart ached. Something strong connected her with Gray. She would never hurt him in any way. Yet here she was, confronting and injuring him. The bluenette straightened herself and fixated on the black haired man. He was panting for breath, also lined with the stress of fighting the instinct to kill. He didn't want to, she could feel it. But his body too was acting on its own will. After a short pause and an eternal exchange of haunting eye contact they rushed upon each other. Their fists collided with one another's cheeks, their feet hit the other's stomachs and sides. Contusions soon started to show up, clothes being ripped off and revealing each and every part that was bruised. Their breaths became heavy and gasping.

Juvia's eyes wandered to the person at fault for their miserable situation. That disgusting white haired man was serious and surely enjoyed the view. Either one of them fought until death or none of them would survive. Juvia drew the conclusion that she had two options. As for her inability of killing Gray he had to either kill her or she had to take her own life in order for him to get out of this. It was surprisingly easy to arrive at the decision. She would never leave him with the regret and sorrow of killing a comrade. Which meant...

The thought of ending her own life scared her. But bringing harm to Gray scared her even more. Juvia smiled and closed her eyes in resignation, rising her right hand and aiming at her last target. Gray stared at her in shock. His eyes became wider.

"Words cannot express the joy Juvia has felt getting to know you, Gray-sama", with that said Juvia stabbed herself with her own knife-sharp water attack.

Her body froze and her hand remained in her abdominal injury. Apart from the massive pain in her stomach the view she caught while opening her eyes pained her even more. Gray had stabbed himself, too. Tearfully, Juvia ascertained that her plan didn't work out. The ice sword that perforated his belly would soon bring death upon him.

This was so wrong. Her whole entity hurt but before giving in to her dizziness she stood upright a bit longer. Her eyes peeked at the chain that linked them. That damn inseparable thing. She then gazed at the man near faint in front of her. They bandied distraught and desperate looks. Was this it? The end of it all? No living happily ever after?

Before collapsing Juvia picked up some clauses that warmed up her chilling body for a moment.

"I could never hurt you..."

"I wanted to protect you..."

Her heart was affected deeply. While Juvia came to the decision that she could never take Gray out he must have come to the same clinch.

Lying on the ground with a bit of her consiousness left she outstretched her left arm near Gray's body. The chain was gone but she saw blood everywhere. His blood. Her blood. The girl wondered how much blood a human body could release. If she was lucky, if he was lucky she could still manage to save him, though. She had to try.

A thin string of blood made out of her water body combined their arms. Juvia felt overwhelmed and nervous, she had never done it before and for that wasn't sure if it would work at all. The little rest of blood she could cede she would cede. For Gray's sake. Her previously unsteady heartbeat quickened, her breath was heavy but deep. Slowly but surely she would fall senseless. Her eyes shut, the flow of the blood transfusion slacked off. Juvia panicked. Before passing out completely she had to save Gray. She had to! Her whole condition embraced her in a cold sweat. She had to rescue Gray from his self-inflicted injury. She hat to. She had to...

Juvia opened her eyes and stared into the deep dark in front of her eyes. She was lying on her left side and felt uncomfortable in that position, her left arm was numb and she shivered with fear. She had an deafening tone in her ears. Where was she? Where was Gray? Was he safe? Did he make it? And where had the snow and the cold gone? As seconds passed and Juvia couldn't tell what was going on tears streamed down and over her face. Except for her shaking she couldn't move and panicked like she had done moments ago. Only she was in a dark place and alone.

When her eyes became used to the darkness she realized she was at home in her bed. But how? She was dying. Gray was dying. Was he safe and sound? What she had just experienced felt so authentic, frighteningly real. Juvia concentrated on sitting up and turning on her beside lamp. The moment she was about to push its button she was hit by a fierce flashback. Her hand that clawed at the button was all bloody. She closed her eyes and held her head only to picture Gray covered in blood, too.

"AHHHHH!"

 _'What is this? Why am I seeing all of this? Where is Gray?'_

The waterworks in her eyes became stronger and she sat back, leaning on the wall to her bed's side. She took her knees close to her chest and cried. The trembling girl felt captured in those flashbacks and images of Gray and herself close to death.

Once her sobbing calmed down she looked up and searched for her phone. Luckily, it was beside her sidelamp and she grabbed it. Her fingers worked on their own and called Gray. Her wellbeing longed for at least hearing his voice to assure he was alright.

His phone beeped five times but ultimately he answered.

"Y-yeah?" His voice was scratchy and sounded tired.

"Gray-sama..." Juvia's respond was rather a whisper than a proper statement. Gray was confused. It's been a month since their last real conversation.

"Juvia? Is it you? Do you know what time it is?"

"..." Not hearing from her worried him in an instant. Why would she call him in the middle of the night and then refuse to speak to him. And had he heard right? _Gray-sama_?

"Juvia? You there?" Juvia sniveled but couldn't form a word.

"Juvia! Are you alright?" Still nothing.

"Say something!"

"Gray... are you... can you-", but Juvia stopped in the middle of her stutter.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Gray sat up in an erect position. His body was tense and produced beads of sweat all over his skin. He eagerly waited but Juvia left him high and dry for a few seconds. In place of her pormpt reply she blubbered out a vage _no_ after all and kept on crying.

"Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Kay, I'll come over. Gimme five minutes."

* * *

Gray had given up on Juvia four weeks ago. That was when he had whitnessed Juvia and Win being a bit too happy and lovey-dovey. And it's been too much to handle. He had retired from the world and spent most of his time at home. Three weeks ago he had replaced his best friends. Scotch, beer and chips had stepped in and numbed him. Made him forget or rather suppress his feelings. Two weeks ago he had listened to Natsu's accusations. That he _had to take care of himself_ or that he _should take a shower once in a while_.

One week ago Gray had gone on a mission with his team again but hidden himself away afterwards. His sleep had been unstable ever since and answering his phone when it had been ringing only took him a moment because of the name the screen had shown. Half awake or not it surprised him that someone, especially Juvia, would call him at such an hour (it was around three in the morning).

Broken hearted or not, Juvia was still a member of his guild and if she appeared to struggle with some kind of problem Gray would do anything to help her, even in the middle of the night. What troubled him was the fact that she would call _him._ If she was upset she could unproblematically ring some of her dormitory friend's bell and talk to one of the girls. But then again, she had called him _Gray-sama..._ There was something cooking and odd about her call.

As promised it took Gray five minutes to dress in a shirt and a jeans and to run to Juvia's place. He knocked once. He knocked twice. Nothing.

Maybe she fell back to sleep? Or worse, maybe she wasn't at home? Maybe Juvia was badly confused and had talked nonsense? But that didn't satisfy Gray. Going back home not knowing where and how she was was beyond dispute. Gladly, or rather immensely scary, Gray perfected a technique to form a key that would open Juvia's front door. It was meant for business, of course, but the only times Gray used ice keys were for private usage. He sighed and stepped inside the dark apartment. He felt like a total creep, stealing into someone else's rooms.

"Juvia? It's me, Gray." The Ice Mage spoke with a not too disturbing voice but loud enough to be heard all over her place. It was weird that all the lights were turned off. If Juvia was awake and awaited him then why would she remain in the dark? His fear proved to be true that she may not be at home. And here he was burgling Juvia's home...

 _Sob. Sob. Sob._

No. There was someone else in the apartment, in the bedroom if his ears didn't betray him.

"Juvia?" He tracked down the roots of the weeping and entered her also dim bedroom. The only source of light was the night's radiance that came through her window. It revealed a huddled girl sitting on her bed. Juvia leaned with her back against the wall and she kept her face immersed between her crossed arms that rested on her pulled up knees. Gray knitted his brows in an anxious expression. She didn't dare to respond to him. Due to her ignorance he approached her on her bed and gently touched her by her right shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Still no reaction. It wasn't that she intentionally took no notice of him. She was simply trapped in her own little world.

"Juvia, look at me." Gray had to shake her with both his hands in order to receive any feedback and free her from her passed out condition. He was successful and she indeed looked up.

"Huh?" Her eyes were puffy and she sniffed. Abruptly, Juvia ripped her eyes and jumped at Gray, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly.

"Gray, you're alright!" Gray was taken by surprise to say the least. Why wouldn't he be? Juvia on the other hand was a mess. She sobbed against his neck in between her uneven breaths.

"Yeah, I'm fine... but you don't seem so. What's going on?"

"You're safe! You're safe..."

Gray had no idea what the fuck was going on. Juvia acted like Gray had raised from the dead. She wailed uncontrollably. The only thing he could do was comfort her the best way and reciprocate her hug. He placed his right hand on her upper back and his left on her bare hip. The shirt she wore was rucked up as for her embracing posture. Gray didn't count the minutes but Juvia consumed a great amount of his time until her sobbing ebbed away. When it had done he decided to bring up the question that had been haunting him the past minutes.

"Hey, care to explain what happened?" Juvia pulled away but stayed near enough to place her hands on his chest. She looked him in the eyes, seemingly baffled.

"How come you are here, Gray?" Her face pled for Gray to explain the situation to her not the other way round. As if she had suffered from some kind of mental breakdown and he had to fill in the blank holes for her. Sadly, Gray still coped with empathetic matters. That is if it came to words. Therefore he let his body take the first actions. He wiped away the wetness below Juvia's eyes with his thumbs. It glinted under the influence of the stars' light that shone in. As soon as it was gone Gray cupped her face and drew near the topic.

"You called me, remember?" ,his voice was calm and soothing, "and you sounded a bit out of it. So, why were you crying?"

Juvia sit back on her knees and crossed her arms in front of her chest as the pictures of her and Gray and their horrifying fight came back. She lowered her head and answered, though more to herself than to Gray.

"Right... I think- I had a bad nightmare..." _Only a nightmare,_ Gray thought. He had wicked dreams from time to time, too. But he was never as afraid as Juvia. It concerned him.

"Must've been some shitty bad one then."

"Yeah..." Juvia still avoided his gaze and it made Gray feel the urge to take her back in his arms. Juvia looked too depressed and broken to deal with her thoughts on her own. But when Gray intended to ask her about some details she startled and faced him again.

"Oh Marvis, what time is it? Did I wake you?" _'Really, you're worrying about that now?'_

"Around half past three, I guess."

"I'm so, so sorry! I'm such a- I mean. I didn't mean to-" Juvia waved her hands apologetically and struggled with the right words. However, Gray released her from her sorrows in the thick of it.

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep well either. No big deal." Gray served the poor girl with a grin to ease the tension. He was there of his own accord and glad he could have been of help to her. Still, it bothered him that he didn't know the genesis of her pains. He would not leave before she could guarantee him that she was over it.

"So... you wanna talk about it? That nightmare? If you still remember..." He was walking on thin ice. After all they had changed. The setting of their friendship had changed. Who was he to sneak inside her room and ask her about her nightmares. But she had called _him._ Not Lucy or Erza or her stupid boyfriend.

"Yeah... but it was- Do you really wanna know? It's strange and sinister and embarrassing."

"Nightmares usually are."

"It was about you, too." He had appeared in one of her dreams? Gray's eyes widened. Juvia had to tell him about it.

"Now I'm curious. Try me."

"Fine..."

They sat next to each other on her bed and abutted against the wall. Since their eyes had habituated to the darkness long ago it wasn't necessary to turn on the lights. Strangly but funny enough, it was the perfect setting for a spooky story. Juvia blinked a few times and then initiated her tale.

"Well, I was at this weird cold place. With ice and snow everywhere. And there was you, as I said. We were connected by a chain and I think we couldn't think straight or move willingly. That's why we were fighting each other. We were fighting bloody seriously. Literally. It was awful. You had that look in your eyes. You wanted to kill me. And my hands and legs wanted to kill you, too. It was so real. Like, I can still recall the pain I felt even if it was just a dream."

 _'Snow. Ice. A chain. Fighting each other...'_

That rang a bell. That story, that nightmare was all too familiar. It made Gray's blood run cold. He was caught in his own thoughts and memories as he listened to Juvia's narration. Every picture she created Gray visualized in his mind's eye. And as she went on and on he became starker and stiffer.

"And I was so afraid to die. We caused so heavy injuries to one another. And there was a person on the side. He was laughing. Can you believe that? He enjoyed watching us slaughter each other. His look was disgusting. It still gives me shivers down my spine. His ugly grinning... All the blood... In the end we stabbed ourselves. We committed suicide, like- I don't know. Like to prevent the other one from dying. You had a hole in your stomach and you fell down and-... and..."

Juvia paused and took a deep breath before she continued.

"The last part was the worst. We were lying there and I saw that you were still breathing. It was difficult to move but I wanted to safe you and gave you my blood somehow. But before I could ensure you would make it or not I passed out. I was so scared. I wanted to safe you so badly. I was crying and- That was when I woke up. I think I freaked out so much because I was still captured in that situation. I didn't know where I was or where you were. So, yeah... That's pretty much it."

Juvia let her story sink in but became alarmed when Gray said nothing at all. There must have been _something_ he could say. It was him who asked her about her dream in the first place after all.

"Gray?" Juvia looked to her right and recognized that her audience kept his silence and stared at his hands in his lap. She touched his arm and as a result caught his attention.

"That _dream..._ it-", he began to speak but stumbled. He rivetted his eyes on her hand on his arms and put his own on top of it. If he was going to reveal that her dream was indeed a nightmare but that sort of nightmare that kept on distressing you because it was real then she might lose her nerves again.

"It wasn't a dream. That was a memory. It actually happened." Gray's powerful eyes invaded Juvia's uncertain ones. She opened her mouth and visibly thought about what Gray had just said. It upset her that Gray suddenly referred to her dream as a memory. She frowned and demanded specifics.

"What are you saying?" Needless to say Juvia wouldn't eat that assertion up from him easily.

"I'm saying that every single part is true. During the last war we had a fight against that bastard, Invel. And he put that chain on us and made us fight each other."

"What?" Juvia's eyes stretched. Gray was serious. He claimed that her dream was a memory. It was virtually unbelievable. Juvia required a moment to understand that her dream was something Gray had experienced as well. The pain she had seen him in was real. Their intension of killing one another and the stress that had been caused by it was real. Their nearly dead condition was real. Juvia's expression saddened. They were both strained and transferred their burden to their hands and tightened their grip on one another. Juvia fixated on Gray's eyes a bit more and noted that he appeared somewhat mysterious and unreadable like the dark covered his expression along with his thoughts. If not for the night light Juvia couldn't see that Gray's eyes seemed to be darker and even more captivating than usually.

Finally, Gray's look softened which appeased Juvia, too. He smiled at her and stroked her fingers.

"You regained a memory." That was right. Shock and depression aside Juvia had finally remembered something!

"I did." Juvia closed up on Gray and leaned her head against his shoulder. She tucked her arms in his and closed her eyes. For a brief moment Gray and Juvia just sat there and enjoyed each other's company. Juvia was more than happy that Gray had gone as far as to visit her in the middle of the night even though they hadn't spoken for such a long time. However, there was one thing that bothered her.

"How did it end?"

"Did what end?"

"That fight. I mean, we made it. But how?" As her dream left her unaware of the outcome Juvia was inquisitive. She looked up to Gray and met a grieved expression. It was confusing. They had survived, obviousely! So why the concern? Gray gulped and avoided her eyes. It was the first time they reviewed their fight against Invel with words. And it was Juvia who overcame the talking up to then. It was Gray's turn now. But what he had undergone was unique and words could never express his feelings. His anger, his regret, his anguish, his heartache. Anyway, he had to try his best...

"At first I didn't know you made it. You transfused blood into my body and I recovered. But when I took you in my arms you fell unconscious. I begged for you to open your eyes but you didn't. I shook you. Nothing... I screamed. I-... I thought you died there."

Gray's voice became wobbly at the end and he had to gulp again.

"Sorry, it's not easy to talk about it. It was one of the- No. It was the worst moment of my life."

Juvia hesitated whether to let go of Gray and give him space or to tighten her grip and comfort him. Gray was noticeably nervous. She wanted to help him. After all, he had come to her support as well. He had held her during her breakdown minutes ago. Funny, how easy tables could turn... In the end she heeded her instinct and simply caressed his arm as if her up and down movements could wash away his exertion. This was the first time she saw him that vulnerable.

"I was so mad. At Invel, at the world, at myself. We weren't dating yet. I always refused to take you seriously. I was an asshole towards you up to that point. And I hated myself for that. I learned to deal with my parents' and my teacher's death. Because I had you by my side. Always. You made me presents, you went on jobs with me, you supported me in every way, you lived with me and searched for hints on E.N.D., you forgave me after I had left you for half a year. You did all that and even more. And what did I do? I made you wait and treated you like shit. I had to lose you to realize that...how much you mean to me. I forgot myself, I was completely out of it. Believe me, Invel regretted ever playing with us."

After bearing his heart to Juvia Gray straightened himself and looked at the girl to his left. She was obviousely moved by his words and nearly cried again. Gray wondered if he had shed tears himself and was glad when he perceived he had not. One weeping person per night was more than enough.

"You saved me and Wendy came to your rescue. She healed you. That's how we made it." Gray had brought his stream of thought to an end and lowered his vision down to their connected arms. While Juvia's left hand touched his upper arm her right one held onto his and her thumb petted his own thumb. It was almost too intimate. Again, Gray felt like they were meant to be and he should be in her boyfriend's place. He would sell his soul if only for a short contact of their lips. Suddenly, her voice roused him from his thoughts

"We really loved each other..." Loved. Past. As in not love. Not any more. Juvia might not have done it intensionally but her words rubbed salt into Gray's wound. They had loved each other so much that neither of them would hesitate one second to give up their life. Juvia _had_ loved him that much. Sad to say Gray still did. He almost offended her with his reaction and made her wince.

"You did." His voice was hard and accusing. Too accusing. He was in no position to criticize her feelings and her clear choice of man. His feelings on the other side ran riot. It was time to go before he'd say something he would regret afterwards.

"You know what? It's late. I'm freakin' tired. And you should go back to sleep, too. A lot happened tonight. Let's talk about it some other time, kay?"

Gray broke away from Juvia, got up from her bed and was about to say goodbye. But a hand gripped his and stopped him.

"You wanna go?" Gray turned around, replete with wonder. Juvia was very touchy that night.

"I wanna sleep, yes."

"Stay. Please... Please stay for the night. Don't leave me alone. What if I have another weird dream and panic?" Touchy and clingy and persistant, a bit as if Juvia was her _normal_ self. Her request was imprudent, though. She only possessed two seater sofas and her bed was a single one.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"In my bed of course." It was then when Gray observed Juvia's body closely for the first time that night. Her shirt provided a great insight into her cleavage. Her hair was messy but sexily voluminous. And that tiny little piece she called panties barely covered anything. If he got into bed with her there was no guarantee he could control himself. Not if they had to huddle together as for the little space her mattress offered. He hardly could the last time if not for his bruised tailbone. Not to mention that he'd betray his decision of moving on and his _friends_. All his effort in training his liver would be for nothing.

"Juvia... I would fuckin' love to, but... This is not cool, you know? I still have feelings for you. And by now you should understand why they don't fade away that easily. You have a boyfriend, dammit! Don't play with either of us!" His allegation surprised even himself. Since when was he sympathetic to Win?

Juvia backed off and sat back on her knees. Her seductive appearence vanished for a shy one. She scratched one of her cheeks with her finger, flustered. It was hard to tell due to the darkness but Gray could swear she blushed, too.

"Win and I, we... We broke up. Don't worry about it."

"You broke up?"

"Yeah, two weeks ago. So, please. I don't want to play. Don't leave me alone. I-..."

Juvia had left her bed by then and stood in front of Gray. She put her arms around his torso and leaned her head against his chest. Gray felt her breath on his skin and shivered.

"I missed you. I missed you so much." As she confessed what was on her mind she pressed herself even deeper in Gray's body. If it was true. If she had broken up with Win she was single. And she definitely intended some sort of intimate interaction. Then he still stood a chance, right? Hell, he missed her, too. Hearing that for once she felt the same way as him was stunning. It was only him and her and she wanted him to spend the night together with no other boyfriend getting in his way. Thank Mavis he had answered his phone this time. And thank Mavis she had remembered something. This was the first step into the right direction. They could make it. They could get back together and maybe overcome this nightmare as well.

"Please stay with me," she begged again. How could he not? He returned her gesture and embraced her. He'd never leave her again. Not after so many regrets and mistakes he had already caused their relationship.

"Fine."

* * *

 **Was it satisfying? Don't worry, I plan to build on this moment. So next chapter will probably start with some romance :)**

 **And there's gonna be some backstory due to the reasons of the break-up (Win will still play an important role, I need him to do one last thing before he dissappears from the scene)**

 **Thanks for your support. And thanks Darkhope for your ideas. I ended the torture but in a different way, sorry.**

 **See ya!**


	11. Present

**Romance and a little bit of smutt... Isn't love just wonderful? :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven: Present**

* * *

"Please stay with me", she begged again. How could he not? He returned her gesture and embraced her. He'd never leave her again. Not after so many regrets and mistakes he had already caused their relationship.

"Fine."

Juvia looked up in surprise. She had not expected him to be convinced with almost no resistance, "really?"

Gray responded with a gentle smile.

"Yeah."

They separated and made their final moves on getting ready to sleep. Juvia walked in her kitchen and drank a glas of water. When she returned Gray had already undressed and only wore his boxers. The bluenette pointed at his lower body as soon as she stood next to him.

"You're keeping them right?" Her cheeks turned in a slight shade of red and she became nervous. Sure, it was her idea to share her bed. Though, she had not thought through what it meant to be so close to him. The last time he had been free to move and only worn his unterwear they had been surrounded by the cold of the river and devoted themselves to one another. The time after that when Juvia and Gray had slept next to each other the poor girl had been sorely shocked by his nakedness the next morning.

Fortunately, Gray gave the impression that he didn't notice anything of it.

"Sorry?" He furrowed his brow and looked down to where Juvia was pointing.

"Your boxers. Not like last time..." Her voice died down at the end. She hoped for Gray to get the hint and not make her elaborate on her explanation any further. A moment passed and Gray arched his brows in awareness. He chuckled and patted the top of her head.

"I'll try. But can't promise anything." Juvia frowned and snorted. How could he switch from repellent to emotional to flirty that abruptly? It irritated her a lot.

"What? I told you. It's a bad habit. It's not like I'm a pervert consciously."

"No pervert is."

"Touché."

Their eyes caught Juvia's bed and both made their assumptions how to make the best use of the limited space. To make matters worse it occurred to Juvia that she only possessed one cover.

"I only have one blanket. Sorry."

"We have to cuddle anyway. Your bed is too tiny."

Juvia crawled to the inside of the bed so she would lie between Gray and the wall. He watched her and accepted her invitation when she lifted the blanket for him to join her. Before the girl lay down on her side to face the wall she gave Gray a smile. She found herself concentrating on his lips a bit too long though and consequently coughed slightly and turned away. Her guest grinned but approached her, deposing his arm around her (on top of the blanket _of course_ ). Juvia didn't mind and actually wished for him to pull her closer underneath the cover.

"Gray?" Juvia's mind was still working as it seemed. But Gray was damn tired. He had not lied. Even if he was curious as hell now was not the time to discuss anything.

"No talking anymore, kay? Let's postpone it until tomorrow. I'm worn out."

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night, Juvia."

The first to wake up late in the morning was Juvia. By that time the two of them had lost the blanket. It was probably Gray who had thrown it away. She still faced the wall with Gray huddled up to her back. Or rather - they were completely tangled. Half his weight lay on top of Juvia, with his left leg between hers and his left arm around her and holding her hand next to her face. Juvia felt connected to Gray in so many ways. By his skin touching hers where she wasn't covered with fabric, his heart beating into her back, his breathing tickling her ear. Her body clung to his perfectly. Much better than to Win's tall one.

She stretched herself but as careful as possible. She had a warm and fuzzy feeling being covered in Gray's embrace. Juvia had no objections remaining like this for a little longer. However, her little movement galvanized Gray and he tightened his grib on her before saying a faint _morning._

"Morning", Juvia replied and pushed her back into Gray's body.

"Mind if we stay like this for a moment?" The way they were wrapped up it was more a statement than a question and Juvia agreed instantly and with a smile to herself.

"Not at all."

Gray plunged his nose into Juvia's hair and took deep breaths. At the same time he caressed her side from her ribs to her hip down and all the way back up. Again and again in a soft flow. In response to his tenderness Juvia rubbed her upper leg against Gray's in between hers which he reciprocated by pressing his up to her womanhood. Their inhaling became deeper and Juvia opened her lips. Gray, also in need for more air, emerged from the depth of her wavy mane and followed Juvia's skin with his nose along her neck to her shoulder. When his hand arrived at her hip again he squeezed her and brought her even closer to his lap, pressing his aroused member instinctly into her ass and his leg rubbing her clit. It made Juvia almost moan and she grabbed his hand, astonished that she could feel him like that. With her hand still on his Gray moved back up and was about to cross the line that separated her ribs from her breast when he stopped himself.

"So, you broke up, huh?", he asked teasingly.

"Yeah..." Juvia couldn't think clear yet. He had impeded his hand but his leg was still doing its work and he spoke lewdly into her ear.

"How come?"

"Well,..." Well what? The only thing that kept her mind and her body busy were his movements. Juvia decided it was best to disrupt whatever fumbling they were doing if they wanted to have a serious talk. She turned to face him and gasped as she realized how near they were. His nose almost touched hers and she could finally have a close look at his eyes. Now that the sun had risen she remembered what exactly she had missed all the past weeks. Everytime their eyes met like this Gray seemed to gaze right into her soul and make her melt. Win had never had that effect on her. It was crazy the way his eyes worked such wonders. Let alone his hands just seconds ago...

"I had to break up with him because I was thinking about you", her talk was more likely a susurration and she stared at her hand on his chest rather than meeting his strong look, "a lot of times, actually..."

"You did?" He smirked. It might have been redundant to ask but it pushed Gray's ego on another level. After all that time of torture he had to fed his self-esteem by teasing and pressing her for clear words of affaction.

"Yeah. I meant it when I said that I really missed you."

It was exactly what he needed. Gray took her hand and tangled his fingers with hers. He pushed her back and leaned over her, their chests only centimeters apart. Juvia's already red cheeks turned into tomatos. She liked that dominant side of him a bit too much. Her heart gained speed and something between her legs prickled. And he was only staring at her! Win had always asked her whether it was ok to only take her hand and sometimes it felt like she slipped into a role and wasn't herself when she agreed to it. When she was with Gray everthing felt exciting _and_ natural.

"Close your eyes", he ordered which made her tremble even more.

"What are you gonna do?" Truth be told, she didn't even need to know. She'd let him do almost everything at that point.

"Do you trust me?" It was a question Gray intentionally and sometimes unintentionally posed. Trust had become an important matter. Whether they loved each other or not was not as decisive as the trust they held into another. Only that way would they be able do rebuild their relationship. To Juvia it seemed that he didn't do it on purpose but nevertheless needed to have her permission. And she would gladly give it to him from now on.

"Yeah."

"Then close your eyes and keep them closed", and she shut them.

Gray leaned forward and brushed her left cheek with his nose. He encased it with his exhaling. In order to do so he also combined their chests. He could sense her nipples through her shirt and her grip on his hand harden which made his flesh creep. It was difficult to control himself and not have his way in seconds but the memory of their last make-out had taught him better.

As he proceeded down to her neck he added the smooth touch of his lips to his endearment. He softly kissed her there and then sucked on her skin.

"Ahhh." Her moan escaped her lips inadvertently and the ice mage grinned in response. He had been in bed with other girls and he always affected them in the same way. But with Juvia it was different. He had never cared if one of his sexual partners had really enjoyed what he'd done. His only intent had been to make them horny and prepared for him and his interests. In Juvia's case he planned to make it special and admirable. Partly because she was much more than some bitch he wanted to have fun with and maybe partly because he wanted to surpass whatever that bastard Win could have done with her.

When Gray made his way down her cleavage and endowed her with more kisses Juvia seized his head and clutched his hair with her free hand. He came dangerously near to her breast and she tensed. She braced herself for sucking and bites but inwardly scowled as he came back up to her collarbone. He payed her other side his attention, her neck, her cheek her ear. He nipped at her lobe and licked her inside.

"Ah!" The feeling his tongue in her ear gave her was odd and gross and thrilling at the same time. It made her cringe and she arched her back with half-opened eyes despite his order from before. She looked to her right and faced Gray, reflecting her wanton expression. He bowed his head and closed the gab between them. He met her opened lips with his but only in a slight contact. It wasn't yet enough for a suitable kiss. They only breathed into one another's mouth. He played with her, drawing back when she approached him and returning after she had lain back her head. Juvia knitted her brows in frustrations which had an amusing effect on Gray.

He smiled at her for a last time and then closed his eyes, ready to appropriately kiss her. His right hand sunk in her hair and held her head as he pressed his lips on hers and slowly sucked on her upper one. The water mage moaned and felt like a puddle. Under other circumstances she'd have control over her body fluids, she controlled the element itself after all. But Gray was driving her crazy, the way he sucked on her and his tongue invaded her oral cavity in slow-motion. She had lost it all. She sweated, she produced spittle and her panties gradually got wet. In order to recover mental and physical stability she tightened her grib on Gray's neck and his hand. Soon after the sensation of their make-out made Gray moan as well and his hip began to press itself into Juvia on its own. He had seeked out a very pleasant position between her legs. And Juvia found his movements more than gratifying likewise. She wrapped her legs around him and therefore granted him better access to her core.

As much as Gray enjoyed Juvia's lips, he wanted more. He lowered his right hand, along her neck and her cleavage but this time didn't stop. He took her breast in his hand and squeezed it firlmy and pervasively. Juvia gave a loud groan as a result.

"Ahhhhh!"

Even covered by her shirt he awarded softness to her breasts. He wondered what they would feel like underneath and decided now was the time to clarify his lack of knowledge. He pulled her shirt up and kept on kneading her bare skin. And in fact, her breast was soft and silky and her nipple hard. The feeling underneath his palm though was too much to handle. He released her upper lip with a last suck and toyed with her nipples instead, his mouth occupied with the right one and his left hand caressing the other one. Juvias breathing became stronger and more moaning. Her excitement spread to her fingers that played with Gray's hair vehemently.

When Gray came to an end after biting and pinching Juvia's breasts he eagerly darted for her mouth again. Their kisses were not slow anymore, they were passionate and hungry. Gray literally ate Juvia up. He couldn't get enough of her body. He rediscovered his place in front of her entrance and rubbed his member against her clit. He supported his pressure by holding Juvia by her ass and bringing her up against him. Now that her wetness passed on to his boxers it drove them insane how absolutely contenting the friction was. It almost hurt Juvia how hard Gray pressed himself against her.

His movements quickened and Gray felt like exploding. How could dry-humping be so good? There were times when sex with a female nobody had been way worse than this and he wasn't even inside the girl underneath him. What would sex be like? Mindblowing? Causing him his ability to walk and stand? (Please not, his last major injury was terribly restricting) However, he had no time to complete his thought as Juvia pushed him on his back and sat on top of him. _Always having a surprise in store, havent't we?_ was his mental reply but he smirked instead. Juvia titled her head and swang her hair to the left side of her head. She wasted no time and rejoined their lips. She also undertook Gray's job and now moved up and down his shaft. He bolstered her by holding her hips and he nearly got lost in their doing, her rubbing against him and him groping her everywhere he wanted. Gray aided in moving her up and down on him for an intense last time until Juvia stopped. She broke their kiss too and looked down at Gray.

They parted a bit and the ice mage opened his eyes only to be blinded by the daylight. They both panted heavily and blinked a few times. His hands slid down her legs and he watched her inhaling deep breaths. Her shirt still freed her breasts until she cleared her throat and reorganized her shirt, her hair and sat up.

"What's wrong? You're alright?" Gray was afraid he might have harmed her with his tight grip. Only because he liked it rough didn't mean she liked it, too. He barely knew anything about her sexual preferences.

"Yes, just... let's slow down, okay?" She asked with a shy and silent voice. She was too cute and pure in his eyes. How could he lose control like that? He almost reached his orgasm, dammit. They went too far. Again.

"Kay, that'd be the best, I guess. To be honest, I got a bit too excited." He released her legs and Juvia lay back on her spot on the bed, snuggled up to his side.

"Yeah, I could feel that." She chuckled and brushed over Gray's chest. This was life as its finest. A pretty girl to his side, a great sexlife to be, no war going on, stable friendships. That was all he needed. Only his pants bothered him. Nothing lay where it was supposed to be. The ice mage reached for his boxers in order to rearrange himself but widened his eyes once he arrived at his penis.

"Oh fuck! Toooo excited." He looked down and raised his boxers. Juvia followed his gaze and lit up. She should better get used to seeing him naked especially after making out the way they had done. As things turned out his suspicion was true, Gray not only was close to an orgasm. He had let out one. A big one by the way. Great.

"Shit! Sorry. Is it on you, too?" He nervously searched for her eyes just to find a blushed giggling Juvia. She made fun of him again and he didn't like it at all. Gray already felt humbled. He didn't need her taunt in addition.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"It's okay. It was hot after all." She gave him a peck on his shoulder and pretended to wear an halo, smiling innocently with her eyes wide open and her brows arched. He didn't buy her obvious fasace. He knew what she was capable of.

" _You_ seduced _me._ You're too hot to resist", he teased. As in saying _no, I take back my apology. You're the one responsible for this mess._

Juvia giggled even more and returned his happiness. This was what she wanted all the time. It only hurt her that he had pushed her and made her feel like she was incomplete. She had wished for nothing more than to be enough to be his and learn about their relationship albeit sharing the same past or not. She had felt their strong bond beyond words and memories and she could tell Gray felt the same way. What mattered was the here and now. The present. Win had been nothing more than a rebound guy. Fortunately, she had realized that and broke up before causing any more heartache.

"I'll be right back. Gotta clean that up." Gray tore Juvia out of her indulgence and got out of bed. Oh yes, he still had sperm all over his boxers. The girl tracked his walk and debauched in smutty thoughts. His tiny apple butt, bis strong arms and defined body in general, his soft and messy hair. She eyed each and every step, the way his buns stretched and contracted until he was out of sight. She unconsciously bit her lower lip as she imagined how he felt under her palms, between her legs, on top of her. This morning was perfect. Who would have thought it turned out like this all of a sudden?

Juvia sighed, turned over onto her tummy with her arms crossed underneath her head, shut her eyes and grinned broadly. She wanted this day to never end. Gray could be sullen and ignorant. But most of all he cared for her deeply. He had not hesitated to check on her, he had shared a traumatic incident and he desired her. That much she could tell. Overwhelmed by pure bliss Juvia almost passed out and drove into a nap. But Gray returned and vaulted over her, covering her like a blanket. He suffused her with kisses on her shoulder and brushed over her right arm.

"So, where do we stand?", he asked in between kisses. Juvia found it absolutely adorable that he was still that insecure. It was clear and visible where they stood.

"I want to be with you." For Juvia it was as simple as that. She wanted to be with him for the rest of the day, for the rest of this year and maybe for the rest of her life. Yet, Gray kept his pecks up and again went into detail in between them.

"Like girlfriend and boyfriend?"

"Yes, dummy", she answered and they both laughed.

"That's totally fine with me." Gray let himself fall to her right side. He brushed a strand over her ear and proceeded to play with her hair. He locked her eyes and couldn't believe his luck. She was so beautiful and she was all his. And his only. And on top of it she felt sympathy for the worst day of his life. They had talked about their fight against Invel and it linked them even more. Moments passed, with Gray massaging Juvia's head and said girl relaxing, nearly zizzling.

There was one thing that plagued the water mage, though. She didn't mean to ruin the mood but she had to broach it.

"Could we keep it a secret for now? Our relationship... Cana and Erza and the others... They talk a lot. And there are still some things I need to sort out with Win."

Gray finished his caressing and rested his hand on her back. It angered him. Why keeping it a secret? It would be useless anyway. Their friends would notice.

"Like what? He doesn't live in Magnolia. It's not like you'll see him any more."

"About that... he said there's something important he wants to talk to me about. In person. That's why he'll come back within the next days. And I still have some of his things flying around." Gray frowned. Weeks ago it's been the other way round. He had been the ex Juvia was supposed to avoid. He'd been more than happy she had acted otherwise. But he was jealous. Win should leave her life for good.

"I don't like that idea." Juvia had intuited he'd not like it. But she owed Win. He had always understood her and dealt with their break up the best way possible even though she had used him.

"We will just talk. And I can make him meet me at the guild if you want me to. Trust me on this, okay?" There was it again. That word. Trust. It was a powerful weapon. Gray had used it before on her and now she triggered him the same way. Of course he trusted her on that. What a dumb question...

"Fine. As long as you're mine and only I can kiss and touch and satisfy you..." He leaned forward and bit her neck while his left hand reached for her ass and grabbed it firmly, with his middle finger menacingly close to her private parts.

"Gray!"

"Sorry", Gray recoiled from his dirty thoughts but smirked nevertheless. He resumed his work with Juvia's hair and nestled up to her. He din't know where it came from but Gray suddenly reminded himself of a certain thing that had happened the night before.

"Hey, do you remember what you called me when I answered the phone?"

"No. What did I call you?" It could have been anything. An insult, a weird nickname, someone else's name... Juvia slightly panicked.

"Gray-sama" So it's been the second on the list. And it sounded familiar.

"I called you _Gray-sama?..._ Strange. I also called you that in my dreams..."

"DreamS? You've had other ones about me, too?"

"Yeah but they were all bizarre and never as real and frightening. Did I call you like that before my accident?"

"Yeah." After Gajeel's try of getting her to call him with that stupid honorific she believed it was ridiulous to say that to anyone. Who'd to that? Or rather... who'd make someone else do it and enjoy it?

"You _are_ a pervert."

"Hey! You did that on your own. Never told you to. Gray is just fine."

* * *

 **Tadaaa. This was simply Gruvia ship service. And I personally liked it (I hope my writing isn't too bad. It's hard to describe those actions correctly and sweepingly. It was hot in my mind. Hope I could get it across) Btw, this one includes embarrassing moment no° three. I didn't make a headline because... just because. It came with the flow. But I'm glad I could assemble another embarrassing event for Gray^^**

 **So yeah, they're together (for now? :-)) let's see where it will lead to.**

 **Thanks for your time and reading. And your reviews of course!**

 **See ya!**


	12. Future

**More Gruvia! And finally Win's last performance.**

 **And I will finally reveal the way to cure Juvia :-)**

 **Pls let me know if my writing still sucks somewhere or anywhere at all. I'll try my best with each chapter but sometimes I get overeager and write too fast I guess. But rereading your own sentences again and again drives you crazy at some point if you know what I mean, especially in another language.**

 **Anyway, enjoy. As much as possible ;-)**

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: Future**

* * *

A few days had passed and Juvia's mind was split in two. On the one side she was in seventh heaven. She spent much time with Gray, mostly at his place and secretly but there was no soul questioning her. She could easily turn the girls down and tell them she was still sad because of her breakup with Win. They left her alone in those cases. And Gray had no problems avoiding his friends for time with Juvia because, well, he was Gray. If he got pissed and told them to leave him alone they'd accept. In compensation he agreed to go on missions more often (if they didn't exceed the duration of one day of course).

On the other side Juvia had that faint but persistant voice in her head. The one that wanted to see her for a last time and tell her something important. She wanted to get over and done with it as soon as possible.

If only she knew how soon...

One ordinary forenoon at the guild while sipping at a cup of icetea Juvia was taken by surprise when Win approached her from behind, called her name and took a seat in front of her.

"H-hey", was her raggedly reply. Oddly it seemed to her like they were strangers. He was still the good-looking, charming and warm-hearted guy she more than liked to hang out with a few weeks ago but his smile didn't effect her the way it used to. Besides she had a new exciting romance blooming. Even more reason for her to feel bad. Behind his smile lay a broken heart. Juvia on the other hand had moved on, almost as if she was betraying Win and his honest feelings towards her.

"Hi. How're doin'?" Juvia did not have the heart to answer his question truthfully. If she did she had to tell him that she came back together with Gray after one very revealing night and her friends aside Win was the last person who should know of that by the time being. Instead she decided to make it as short as possible.

"Good, actually. And you?"

"Conformable to circumstances." He was tapping his fingers against the table and breathing faster as the seconds passed. But yes, apart from that he was doing good ever since their breakup. While Juvia had cried for hours because of her guilty conscience Win remained unfazed compared to her, caressing her back and encouraging her very understandingly during their talk. Still, there was only one reason for him to seek her out again - his wish to speak to her in person for whatever burdened him.

"So, it's a bit crowded in here, could we take a walk and talk?"

"Sure."

It was a sunny sommer day outside. Many people went out for ice cream, taking a sunbath or walking around like Win and his companion did. But deep inside Juvia felt a storm seethe. She gulped. She wished she could have mentally prepare herself another time for what was about to come. Maybe he wasn't as insightful as he played to be. Maybe he was angry. Maybe his sixth sense had told him she went back to Gray. As for Win falling quiet it was Juvia's duty to get their inevitable encounter underway.

"What did you want to talk about?" Win cleared his throat and silently opened his mouth for a moment before he made up his speech. While doing so he kept his look on the ground all along.

"Well, the time before the last when I was back in Bellatrica I heard rumors of a mage that used to work with that dick that caused the spell on you. She's said to be able to revert her former partner's magic. Turned out that old lady, her name is Maravilla, indeed exists. Some of my guild mates worked on a searching mission and found her. Then the last time I returned home Maravilla already worked with some of the girls that still suffer from their lost memories. And you won't believe it - she achieved results."

That was a huge bite to swallow. The reason for Win to talk to Juvia was nothing regarding his own emotional world at all. It was about her. She had counted the possibility of a magical way to regain her memories out long ago. Until that moment. How would it effect her future? Their future, hers and Gray's? She took Win's arm and made them stop their walk.

"Wait, what? Are you trying to say that Mara- Maravilla, right? That she can bring my memories back?"

"I think so. It took her weeks to only help one of the girls but it worked in the end. I spoke to her and she's willing to visit Magnolia and have a look at you if you wanted to."

"Wow. I don't know what to say..." Juvia examined Win's face as if his expression had the ability to unveil the right response. That was until something passed through her mind.

"Wait a second. You heard about those rumors back when we were still dating and you didn't tell me?"

"I'm sorry... I-... I was scared that if I told you there was a way you could regain your memories you'd leave me and go back to your ex. I mean, you and me had a really good time in the beginning and you wanted to start over new with me. I was too happy and selfish to lose that. But you deserve to know. So... here I am."

Juvia let go of Win's arm and drew herself up. He'd undertaken the stress of so much traveling for her even after their breakup. That he'd have that much courage...

"Thank you for telling me now." Upon other terms she'd want to cling to his friendship. Win was a kind and caring type of guy. If they had never started to date and if he lived somewhere nearer... But it was too late for that. And what now mattered to her was her relationshipt with Gray and how things would turn out regarding her mental state.

"She'd really come and see me? Even if it might be a failure?"

"Yeah, I told her about you and that you're responsible for our mission's success. For the girl's rescue. And she wants to help you. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. Maybe you'll only remember tiny bits..."

"Yeah about that... I already remembered something from my past." Win widened his eyes. He had a feeling he might know what could have come back.

"You did?"

"Something about me and Gray..." And his first guess was right after all. The person behind that name had always put obstacles in his way.

"Of course. Are the two of you-" Win hesitated and doubled his fists strainedly. He couldn't bring himself to finish his question. He was damn curious but as soon as Juvia would clarify his hunch positively he'd suffer even more.

"Forget it. I don't wanna know. But that you already remembered something - that's awesome. She will definitely help you." Win's body finally unwound. He put his hands in his trouser pockets and got into a relaxed poise. He had imagined their talk to be much more complicated.

"So. That's pretty much all I wanted to say. I'll contact Maravilla and tell her you'd like her to come. I guess she'll speak to your master first and then go and see you."

That said and Win's visible easiness spread to Juvia and brought a smile upon her face. It reminded Win of all the reasons he fell in love with her in the first place. It twisted the knife in his wounded heart.

"You look good. I wish I was the one to make you happy." It was meant to stay in his head but came out unwantedly which brought back the once untensed atmosphere. Juvia was jonesing for ending their conversation as soon but also as amicable as possible. Thank Mavis they were in public and didn't share their daily routine.

"Thank you, Win. For everything."

"Goodbye Juvia."

"Goodbye. Take care of yourself." They stared at each other but then separated once and for all.

* * *

Juvia was impatient for her Gray the whole day. They had a dinner engagement at his and _he_ had been the one suggesting it (yes, Gray planned to make dinner for Juvia. That he had asked Mira for a foolproof pasta recipe was something he might hide from his girlfriend).

Once Juvia arrived at his place and he answered her knocking he was caught off guard.

"He- hmmmm." Gray wasn't even able to finish his greeting when Juvia pressed her lips on his, holding his head in place. After her meeting with Win her longing for Gray had gone sky high. For his mouth and his hands and his whole being. She had pressed herself into his front strongly and therefore coerced him into kissing and holding her back. When they parted Juvia gave Gray a sirupy _hi_ and took a step back.

"Hey little Ms. Eager." Gray ogled at his girlfriend. She was simply astonishing. As much as he hated the summer he praised the season at the same time. It provoked Juvia to only wear a white tanktop along with jeans shorts and sandals.

"You look good. I like hot pants. Accents your ass and your legs." ' _He's one to talk dirty'_ Juvia thought. She watched him from head to toe and the only things covering him were his gray short sweatpants and his cross necklace...

"Bedroom. Now." Juvia puffed and clutched his left hand tightly. That one kiss just then wasn't enough to stay her sexual appetite. She headed for his bedroom and dragged her boyfriend along behind her. Though, Gray was a bit angry at her. Would his cooking work go to waste?

"I made dinner. You're not hungry?"

"I'm hungry for you. Now come."

"Tzzz. And I'm the perv..." In the end Gray gave up. Who was he to talk? He'd never reject any saucy offer from her.

On their way to his bedroom Gray watched his girlsfriend's hair bounce with each step, from one side to the other. For a second he wondered if they'd move the same way if he took her from behind. Baaad and nasty thoughts... Maybe he should stop her and insist that they have dinner first. If he was hit by a food coma it would be harder to put any efforts into laying her. They had spent much time but Juvia still disrupted any touching underneath their panties in the nick of time. It was frustrating. For them to prefer intimacy before eating now was risky.

Fully lost in thoughts Gray almost bumped into Juvia when she came to a stop. She entangled their hands and faced him. Her blue prurient eyes looked up to his and captivated his mind and his body. His apartment was perfectly still except for his breathing and his heartbeat. For a moment they only exchanged stares. Gray teetered between her left and her right eye. From his point of view and the way Juvia looked up her long eyelashes stood out more than usual. They provided her a lewd appearance. Why were they driving him crazy? They were only eyelashes... Still, with those lashes along with her red cheeks and her parted lips she had that alluring impact on him.

After staring a bit too long Juvia blinked and lowered her eyes to his torso. She trapped the scar on his left side and streched out her right hand for its bottom end. She asked herself if it still hurt from time to time or if he had lost his nerve cells there at all. Ever since her gained knowledge she had touched it more often, sometimes initially like now, sometimes accidentally. But always did she hesitate to remove her hand. She was somewhat glued to it, emotionally because it connected her to Gray in the closest way and physically because she loved to touch him in general. Gray lowered his look, too. The scar was indeed a sensitive spot. It tickled and tingled and made his lungs tense when she stroked the shape of the scar up to its upper end.

Arrived at the finish Juvia and Gray's eyes met again, her hand still on his body. It was their only direct body contact, but too faint to satisfy their desires. The ice mage pulled her closer by her waist and Juvia gladly surrendered. She brushed his body from his scar up to his shoulder, supporting her weight. Her other hand found his neck and clutched him tightly. The tension was intolerable. It wasn't hard to tell that Gray wanted her and the other way round.

Therefore, Juvia stood up on tiptoes to kiss him. With her head titled to the right she shut her eyes and combined her lips with his. Not missing a beat the couple french kissed deeply and slowly, their tongues dancing or Gray sucking on one of her lips and vice versa. As much as her fingernails carved their signature into his skin he reached for her ass and squeezed it. Her shorts certainly were short. Due to her streched figure Gray was able to touch her bare skin and spread her cheeks apart which led to a moan escaping Juvia's mouth.

It was what brought him over the edge. He undid her button, made her jeans fall off and lifted her up. With her ass in his hands he approached his bed only to drop Juvia once he had reached it. The way she lay there, staring up at him and biting her lower lip as he kneeled between her spread legs, thinking what he might do to her... it made him realize how uncomfortable his boxers were. Should he kiss her first, undress her completely (if she let him), indulge her breasts, lick her thighs and tease her until he'll reach her panties? There were so many options...

As if sneaking into his mind Juvia put her hands on his hips and gently pulled his pants down, only his pants, not his boxers that is. He for his part leaned over her and fulfilled her doing, kicking it away. Another round of dry-humping? He wasn't sure if he could survive it another time. He mentally crossed his fingers that she longed for more. Or that she'd do more. He'd take anything if it involved skin on skin contact.

Her hands were back on his hips and pulled him nearer, his member right into her core and his lips back on hers. She widened her legs and raised her chest once she felt his cock against her clit.

"Ahh."

Gray enjoyed her sounds so much. He wanted more. Needed more. He put his left hand underneath her top and grabbed her boob. Her cup size still got him. It shouldn't, he knew most of her body by that time and he'd been with other girls similar, let alone his female guild mates... But it did. Not to mention he had a thing for asses, not breasts. What was this girl doing to him? He payed body parts his attention he had never cared for before. He wasn't himself. If it was another girl from his past he'd be in the middle of fucking her right now not squeezing her breast and just kissing. Then again. It was Juvia. He had never cooked dinner for another girl before. He had never made a fool of himself so many times. And he had never said those three words before.

Gray's main focus was on her pleasure not his. He was horny and impatient but above all he wanted her to be in a complete tizzy. He knew how hard he already was. He panted for touching her _there_ and insure himself that she was as wet as he wished for. That was why he slowly lowered his hand down her waist and to her hip. There he slipped in her panties and was about to make his way between her legs when Juvia gasped and stopped his hand with hers.

Of course...

Gray frowned and meanmugged Juvia from above.

"Ok, what's your problem? You always make the first moves and then you freak out when I get too excited. Am I mistaken something?"

"No." Despite her answer she removed his hand from her. How could she be so cruel? He knew he should have insisted on dinner first...

"Then what's makin' you so nervous?"

"It's..." She looked to her left and searched for the right words. If she had her way she would not have to tell him. But obviously, she wasn't that professional of an actress.

"Juvia, you're makin' it literally hard for me to deal with you when we're in bed."

"It's just that I'm... uhm... " Juvia was fucking with Gray. Sadly, not the way he would like her to. And how dare she avoiding his eyes when they were discussing something that important! Gray took her chin between his right thumb and forefinger and made her look at him.

"Spit it out!"

"I'm not a virgin okay? But I can't remember my first time so when we'll be doing it it will be like my first time. That's why I'm nervous."

 _'No virgin yet virgin... What? Really, that girl...'_

"You're no virgin but you can't remember? How does that work?" Gray released Juvia and sank on his left side, supporting his head with his hand and holding Juvia's stomach with the other while she explained herself.

"I lost my virginity before my mission with Cana. It was with- I don't even know him anymore... And... Long story short I had a boyfriend back in my Phantom Lord days and after I had sex with him and he left me I cried my heart out in front of poor Gajeel-kun...That's how I know. He dropped it at sometime."

Gray let her words sink in and blinked a few times. Juvia's body wasn't vestal but her mind was. It must have been a great burdon on her since it's always been a problem in their short _sexual_ life. But what was most important for Gray was something different. He opened up his eyes es much as possible and got back on top of Juvia.

"Wait, you mean you and Win...", he began. Juvia immediately understood what he was referring to. _Stupid rivalry_ she thought and pronounced what Gray wanted to hear.

"No, we didn't do it." Gray's body relaxed. He didn't recognize he held his breath. A smirk escaped his mouth. Ha! That dumbass didn't lay a finger on her. Well, maybe he did. But technically he wasn't inside her. Only Gray would be lucky enough to do _it_ with Juvia. It wasn't smart to but Gray couldn't resist and pushed his luck even further.

"Which means I'll be your first but without the pain 'n' blood", Gray paused and lowered himself in order to whisper into her left ear, "my dick will be the only one you'll ever know." His deep voice made her shiver. She held on Gray's back for dear life as if she'd fall down otherwise even if she already lay on a bed. She liked the idea of him being her only sex partner. It was romantic. But the way he had put it and made it sound annoyed her.

"Don't say it like th-that! But ye-es..." Juvia enforced her point or rather tried to but ended up stammering because Gray had returned to seducing her, licking her ear. She had not decided whether she liked or she hated it yet. She had never thought of ears to be that sensitive of a part of her body. But his tongue was some hell of a magical device. And it was so small on top of it. Most notably compared to that thing in his pants. If it could make her moan and tremble in so many ways how would sex with his penis be like. It had already hurt a bit rubbing her at the outside.

"I'm not so sure about the pain. You're so... it's been years for my body. I don't think I can handle you the first time."

Her words were sugar in his ears. It shouldn't turn him on that she was afraid of the pain he could bring upon her but it did. His ego still thirsted for any compliment she was willing to present. His tongue's work became more intense over sucking at her neck. It might cause hickeys the next day. She was and will always be only his and that she should exhibit. After one last violently suction he released her skin and hoisted his head to look at her with a grin all over his face.

"I'm on avarage, don't worry. But thanks. You may as well think otherwise since you can't know." And then he kissed her on her lips. At first Juvia tolerated his action but then concluded she woudn't let him get away with it. She pushed him up and glared at him.

"Don't do that. I actually do not know. Don't make fun of it." Gray however did not buy it. Not at all. Her snorting, reddened face was too hilarious to take it any serious. He laughed and touched her nose for an Eskimo kiss.

"You're so cute and innocent sometimes. Makes me want you even more." And what he wanted was all of her. Even if she refused to feel his member for that night he would love to touch her everywhere. After a peck on her lips he got down on her until he arrived at her unbosomed chest, her top pulled up. He started his work by caressing her breasts once again. One with his left hand, one with his mouth.

"Gray..." Juvia wondered if anything she had said a moment ago hit Gray at all. Continuing where they had stopped was not a good idea. Not that she didnt like it. She liked it a bit too much and didn't know how to deal with it.

"Hey, don't panic. I'm not gonna rip you apart. But I'd like to touch you if that's ok with you. And as soon as I make something you don't like you..." Gray pondered what she could do that wouldn't be embarrassing for either of them when something popped up in his head.

"Let's chose a safe word. If you're not comfortable you could say..."

That he would consider an arranged safe word at that time of their relationship surprised even Gray. He had never needed one. Safe words were bound for diritier actions, not petting. But rather sooner than later. Who knew what smutty stuff they'd be interested in some day. Spanking. Bondage. Roleplaying...

He deviated from his actual matter!

Gladly, Juvia's soft voice interrupted his kinky thoughts.

"Yellow. And you slow down. And when I say red you have to stop instantly." _'Wow, she has it all figured out already!'_

"Yeah. That's fine with me. So, relax. I'm not gonna push you. I'm happy to only be with you. Anything on top of that is the icing on the cake. No sex for today."

"Thank you."

"By the way. If you want to touch me, you're free to go all the way. Anytime. Anywhere. You did a good job the last time." Gray made her feel awkward. Again. And he smirked at her. Again. Which made her blush... again...

After defining the boundaries Gray assured that what he did was according to her liking. Every move he took was smooth and careful so he had enough time to interpret her reaction. While kissing and sucking all of her upper body his hand stroked and finally pulled her thigh up and around his hip, he strained her waistband and slowly but surely reached her panties between her legs. He paused but this time Juvia let him. He could already feel her wetness and grinned into her mouth because of his concentment. Gray pressed his fingers against her entrance, causing the moist fabric to slightly sink in, too. Juvia moaned straightaway. Afterwards, he gently slid his hand upwards until he reached her clit, circling it with his fingers. Shortly after, Juvia stirred her body in sync to Gray's movement. Their kissing quickened, his fingering became faster.

Moments later touching her with her underwear still on wasn't sufficient any more. For both of them. Gray broke apart and sat on his knees. He gazed at her panties and took a deep breath before putting his hands on her hips, holding the last piece covering her. He was prepared to hear her shout _yellow_ or even _red._ When she didn't but smiled at him excitedly he removed it. Juvia raised her legs in support and spread them again afterwards. Meanwhile she undressed her top, too. She was unveiled in the truest sense of the word. Juvia's blue wavy hair decked out his mattress in a messy manner, her lids were half-closed and fixated on him in a markedly sexy way. her breasts bulges to her sides due to their weight. Her nipples stood up. All of her body gave evidence of her arousal. Gray groaned.

"You have no idea how much I want you." It was meant as an adulation. But Juvia covered her breasts with her arms, pressed her legs together and blushed. His words struck her a bit too bluntly.

Gray digged his way back between her legs and gave her an intense and honest kiss to ease her. It worked and she hugged his back again. After that he made his way down, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her chest and her stomach and gave her belly button a special treatment. It effected her the same way she reacted to her ears being licked - she didn't know what to do with the tingling feeling. She grasped Gray's shoulders firmly in response and unintensionally pushed him down on her, unwillingly telling him he could lick her. Gray marveled at her confident order but paid heed to it. He was about to satisfy her there anyway.

What came next drove Juvia wild. He took advantage of her moisture and put two of his fingers inside her. That alone made her back arch and her hands clench around the sheets. She inhaled and held her breath, her lungs incapable of finishing their task. In addition to his patient handwork Gray french kissed her happy button, spoiling her rotten with his tongue. That was when she released her breath and let it out in a loud moan. She gripped his head, tearing his hair. It was her first time ever experiencing those feelings. Her own fingers were amateurs compared to his. And his tongue...

It didn't last long. Not at all. Even Gray was startled. At first he wondered if she was close to be on the edge. But her last scream and her convulsed muscles affirmed that he had made her orgasm.

Gray lay next to Juvia's right side shortly afterwards, his left arm underneath his head and his right hand around Juvia's waist. He didn't say a word until his girlfriend seemed to be soothed and her breath reached a normal speed. When it had she looked him deep in the eyes. Her face was still sweaty and rosed.

"This is so unfair." Her voice and brows gave a troubled impression. What could potentially burden her now?

"What?"

"That you're so skilled and I know nothing." Juvia was very well sensible of the fact that she had cum at a great pace. And it bothered her. Wasn't it supposed to be the other way round? Their almost sex with clothes still on lasted much longer...

Gray cupped Juvia's face with his free hand and kissed her forehead. She already made him the luckiest man on earth and she worried over something trivial like that.

"You do, in a way. Like on instinct. I can't get enough of you. Don't worry."

Gray couldn't get enough, really. He began to graze the landscape of Juvia's body. He brushed his fingers over the gnarled skin of her hills, he touched the soft surface of her belly and all along held strong eye contact with his love. He enjoyed those moments with Juvia. He worshipped them. But they were always at his apartment. And he was tired of it. He wanted to go out with her, flee from the restrictive walls of his bedroom.

"Juvia, whaddaya say if we went on a mission together? I miss goin' on a job with you." Juvia tangled her fingers with Gray's on her stomach. She had also thought of the same thing for some time now. But she wasn't sure if he wanted to work with her since he went on jobs with his team all the time.

"Sure. I'd like to see some of your ice make moves."

"I saw one on the board that's near Amefurashi Village. That's where we used to live together. After the mission we could visit it again and I'll show you around."

That made her more than happy. She jumped at him and pressed her lips against his. She liked that romantic side of him a lot.

"That sounds wonderful. Yeah, let's do that." Laying on his back with Juvia and her beatific smile on top of him - that overwhelmed nature reminded him of the Juvia he knew and fell in love with originally. All of her habits added together she surprised him by showing her old characteristics more often nowadays. The way she looked at him, either shy and cute or with hearts in her eyes, the sound of her voice when she spoke with him even though she dropped the honorific and her third-person-talking. He felt special to her again. Thinking of special things...

"By the way, you're hungry? I can't get that food go to waste. And I'm starving."

 _*growl*_

It was her stomach piping up.

"There's your answer."

That evening was one of her best up to that point. Gray had proven himself to be an empathetic person if she needed him to be for another time. She trusted his feelings and trusted herself that one day, maybe sooner than expected, she would say _those three_ words back to him. All memories of their past aside they would make it work.

Memories.

Right. Memories. Win.

Juvia had avoided that topic. She had been overhasty when she marched in. But addressing it now? No. She put her meeting with Win away. It could wait. That old lady wouldn't arrive at Magnolia within the next two weeks anyway. So why ruin her fantastic dinner with Gray?

* * *

 **Sneaky little pervy me. There's (almost) only smut in this one, though not 'til the end. Sorry bout that.**

 **But don't panic. They WILL have sex. At least they went further this time. Maybe next chapter? Don't know yet.**

 **Don't want the chapters to be overfilled by sex scenes :-P**

 **As for Juvia's memories. Now you know how she can get them back. Mystery solved.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **See ya!**


	13. Home

**What can I say, enjoy it!**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: Home**

* * *

"AAAARGH! How hard can packing bags be, Lucy?"

"Hey, cool down Juvia! It's only a job, and not even a hard one."

Only a job, she said. It wasn't only a job! Juvia could tear her hair out out of frustration. Ok, the job which included tracking down a bunch of robbing bandits would be pretty easy. But Juvia would be out of Magnolia for a few days, maybe a week. With Gray. Her now boyfriend. Alone. That was the reason for her freaking out.

Oh yes, Gray. Juvia had to drop the bombshell of her and Gray being back together. And to say Lucy had been swept off her feet was an understatement. But hey, in return Lucy updated Juvia regarding her latest interactions with Natsu and confessed that they were going to reveal their relationship. So they were equal.

"I know, I know. But we'll be together for several days. Alone."

"So? Isn't that what you want? Some private time with your boyfriend?"

"But what if-... I can't make him wait much longer. And I do wanna do it, too. But I'm nervous..." Lucy shook her head and sighed. Juvia had narrated what exactly her and Gray had done so far, figuratively. And Lucy couldn't put her finger on what problem her friend had with having sex when her body more than longed for it.

"You already touched each other like everywhere, right? Don't worry. You'll be fine. Besides, Gray can't be any worse than Natsu. He committed any blunder posssible because it was his first time, too. Gray will know what to do. But don't tell him that. Natsu would kill me!"

"That's not helping. If I do something weird he'll know because he's done it before. If we were both inexperienced..."

"Juvia, don't panic, for Mavis' sake! Just let the poor guy handle it and enjoy it. You'll be alright!"

Let _him_ handle it...

Juvia thought about it. Of course! Why not letting Gray take the tiller and endure it. He liked to touch her. He knew what to do with his _thing._ If something went wrong he would knew what to do. And maybe, just maybe, she'd find the courage to even move and not be a starfish.

"You're right. Thanks Lucy."

"You're welcome."

"Sooo, what lingerie are you gonna take along?"

"Lucy!"

"What? You need to feel comfortable. Though, Gray doesn't pay much attention to his own clothes. Maybe he doesn't care what his girlfriend wears either. Let alone for how long 'til he rips them off..."

* * *

Except for her nervousness of being alone with Gray once they would pitch camp Juvia had been pretty excited, in a good way. She'd heard formidable things about Gray and his abilities and for that reason was quite proud to get herself that badass type of an ice mage. She only had to see with her own eyes if the rumors were fully true.

And hell they were true, if not even an underpricing of what her boyfriend was capable of. In the beginning of hunting down their enemies it had appeared ridiculious that the mission required more than one person to fulfill it. But it had been a trap and soon after running after them Juvia and Gray had been surrounded by the whole clan, their backs facing a scarp. For a moment Juvia panicked. Not that she didn't trust Gray. But the only person she had teamed up 'till then was Gajeel and at least she could peek at his moves during their training before even taking a job. Maybe she should have trained with Gray too before accepting a job...

However, her uncertainty soon subsided and her body moved on its own when Gray smirked and called out to her _'N_ _ow the fun begins. Let's show them what we've got, Juvia!'_

They threw their jackets away and got into fighting positions, protecting each other's back. The bandits didn't even stand a chance. Juvia and Gray took out one enemy after another, capturing them in ice or knocking them out with fountains of water. If an attack was close to hit her Gray had taken care of it before Juvia even noticed that she had been in danger and she parried off strikes that could have hurt Gray the same way. It was awesome!

But what was even more astonishing than the feeling of complete victory was the sight Juvia caught at her beloved one when she turned around. Seeing him stripped half naked, sweat streaming down his face and his muscles, his heavy breathing (not that the fight had been that exhausting; it was summer after all).

Let alone his staring at her, with a grinning on his face and his eyes darkening ...

If not for the many (un-)conscious opponents around her Juvia would make a bolt for his body and press her lips on his and grab his ass cheeks and...

 _'Whow whow, easy there, Juvia!'_ she thought. There'll be plenty of time for that...

And plenty of time they spent making out, touching, groaning. But their first two nights were spent under the night sky. It was way too hot to sleep in a tent and therefore too dangerous to cross _that_ border out in public.

It was until Gray and Juvia approached their old home.

It brought back so many memories when the couple stood in front of the wooden door, staring at the tiny, inconspicuous house and automatically holding hands. Well for Gray that is. This was where he really accepted Juvia as a companion. No, as a partner if he was honest with himself. After the fight against Tartaros Gray had intended to take on his path alone, searching for hints to find and destroy E.N.D. But instead he couldn't bring himself to leave Juvia behind after what she had done for him, setting his father's soul to peace. Not that he invited her to join him. She just followed and refused to leave which Gray inwardly appreciated.

"So, this is it? Where we used to live together?" Juvia knew the answer to that question but became a bit impatient when no one said or did anything.

"Yeah, this is it."

 _'This is where we used to have breakfast every morning, where we trained together, where you relaxed more and more and faszinated me with your true nature instead of your inappropriate advances to cling onto me, well most of the time...'_

 _'This is where we laughed together and played drunken strip card games - maybe a bit too far. This is where we held each other when the other one had nightmares.'_

"This is where I fell in love with you." It wasn't meant to be spoken out aloud. Gray was absorbed in his thoughts and didn't realize what he had said until he looked down to his right side, questioning the reason for Juvia to beam like a traffic light.

 _'Oh shit!'_

Gray squeezed Juvia's hand and led her into the house, glossing over his still unfamiliar outbursts of emotions.

"Uhm, well. Let's get our stuff over in the bedroom and eat something."

They did as planned and unpacked some of their left behind boxes to cook and set the table for dinner. On their way to the house they had passed the market of Amefurashi Village and bought meat and vegetables. Due to Gray's last trials to serve Juvia a great meal it was her turn to proffer a delicious supper which Gray supported anyway. If he had to chose he'd always eat her magical work instead of his.

When eating coma hit them after dinner the two of them settled on the sofa in the living room, with Juvia half on top of Gray and her head and left hand resting on his bare chest. She felt so relaxed and peaceful with his left hand softly caressing her head and their synchronized breathing pace. She could almost fall asleep. It's been what, one or two weeks since their reunited relationship? And she already felt so comfortable being close to Gray, sexual interest aside. But before closing her eyes something caught her attention. Across the room there were scribbling, notepads, articles and ripped out book pages on the wall, connected by strings. She knew of what exactly they had been working on and apparently the work had been very time consuming. But why was it still there? All their other belongings had been packed up.

"We worked pretty hard to get all these notes and hints, hm?" Gray looked to his side to get what Juvia was referring to. It was their note wall of each and every step they had taken to get nearer to fulfilling his _dream_ , his _purpose_ of that time.

"Yeah. I was kinda obsessed with the book and the demons of E.N.D."

Obsessed. The only obsession she knew Gray followed was her. It made her blush and remembering his confession from just two hours ago she blushed even more. The Gray she knew sure had problems expressing himself sometimes but if something caught his attentions then he would never give up on it. Juvia decided she was a damn lucky girl to have Gray by her side. That he had not given up on her. But it made her wonder...

Back to that time, had there been any moment like this? With her lying on top of him? Those longing stares they gave each other? It felt so strong that it had to start at some point.

"So nothing happened between the two of us while we lived together?" They had not been officially together, that she was certain of. Gray had told her. But they had fucking lived together, for six months. Something must have happened for them to end up in a fight and sacrifice themselves. Juvia was cusious.

"Yes. And no." Juvia frowned into Gray's chest and clutched his necklace unintentionally. What did that mean?

"We became very close. And we talked a lot for my standards. About my past. My parents' death. My master's death. And though we never kissed or shared a bed we had that-..."

She waited for him to continue eagerly and he did after stopping his hand moving around her head. He alsways paused when he was about to tell her something intimate and somewhat embarrassing.

"... tension going on. Like you've always been open regarding your feelings anyway. You made it obvious that you liked me to kiss and take you. And I started to think about it more and more often. But I had other stuff bothering and distracting me. I told myself that it could wait. That you would wait."

 _'Only friends then, huh?'_ She thought. Her waiting for him for several months, years actually. Him avoiding her attraction. Them being a perfect match for fighting enemies. Water and ice. Their suicides... all the pieces Juvia had gained from Gray and her friends' stories the last months started to paint a greater picture. Gray and her sure shared a special history and it took him much time to heal and accept his feelings. Kind of like it took her time to come back to him this time, with her memories gone. But waiting for one another was worth it. That very moment alone of them chilling together in their little home proved it.

"I did."

"You did."

Gray tightened his grib on Juvia's back, bringing her closer to him, and Juvia gladly gave in to their bodies pressing into each other. Her breathing became deeper and she closed her eyes, concentrating on Gray's slightly sweaty but still alluring scent. She rised her head in order to sink her nose in between Gray's shoulder and neck, taking in all of his smell with both her nose and her mouth. Her left hand touched his chin and found its way up to his temple before vanishing in Gray's messy hair. At the same time she began to kiss his neck, then licking and then sucking at it. Gray seemed to enjoy her movements as he opened his mouth to take in deeper breaths. He tightened his grib even more and brought her up, lying fully on top of him now.

Juvia moved her head above Gray's and looked at him seductively.

"We're not going to sleep in separate rooms this time, are we?", she asked, more as a statement and not willing to tolerate protest.

"No", he said while grinning and lowering his hands on her butt, squeezing her cheeks through the thin fabric of her hot pants. Juvia responded by rubbing her core against his lap and kissing him passionately a second later. Fuck, he was so hot from her point of view. Hell, from any girl's point of view. And only she had him right underneath her, lying between her legs. His tongue licking hers, his teeth biting her lower lip and vice versa. And his hands! First massaging her ass, then slowly sliding up her hips and her waist, pulling her shirt along and finally removing it from her completely. In order to do so Juvia sat up and fulfilled Gray's task by opening her bra's clasp, throwing it away as far as possible.

For a moment Juvia just stared down at her man, her hands leaning on his abs, her hips slowly circling around his lower body. Gray's eyes couldn't believe what they saw and his hands didn't hesitate to grab both her breasts. He faintly groaned.

 _'Fuck she's so sexy. Her skin is so soft, her nipples so hard. Her eyes so enticing and her hair still tousled from my fondling before!'_

But before Gray could think of any other attribute to describe her she had her lips crashed on his again, sucking on him hungrily. Oh how much he loved that dominant side of her. And it seemed that when being dominant she liked to do the same things to him than he liked to do to her. He always seized her hair and so did she. He ate all of her lips up, her chin, her neck, her ears and so did she. He used to rub his shaft into her legs and so did she. It made him groan a bit louder. She just knew what to do to him. It drove him crazy and soon he put a hand between them, reaching for her pants button. He wanted to touch her so badly and make her moan, too. This one sided seduction was unsatisfying!

Juvia for her part knew exactly what Gray aimed for. She raised her hips for better access and waited for his hand to slip into her underwear. And his hand was not long in coming. He put his middle finger into her, making it wet and then caressed her clit.

"Ahh", Juvia half exhaled, half moaned into Gray's mouth. She stopped herself from kissing Gray just to enjoy his fingers pander her lust for a moment, all while locking eyes with him. Their lips still touched lightly but didn't close the gap. Gray inhaled his girlfriend's moans and said girl was unable to concentrate on anything when he pressed his wet fingers at her knob a bit harder, making her collapse in his neck and letting out a load moan. A thought occured to her. It was gonna happen. His fingers worked magic with her clit but they weren't enough to fill her out. She assumed that her body would be ready for him and now with all the heat in her body boiling up she knew her mind was, too. Still moaning with every pleasant movement of his fingers Juvia collected all her guts and asked for her favor.

"Gray, ah, let's not- Ahhh! Stop this time, okay?"

"Huh?" Gray got a bit distracted by her wet walls around his fingers and her breast in his right hand.

"Ahhh! I wanna do it", Juvia panted.

It took Gray a moment to put one and one together and then it hit him. He had thought about it before they left Magnolia. That the time after their mission would be the ideal opportunity to have their first time together. But that was sweet dreaming. That it would actually happen that easily...

"You're sure?", he asked and halted his action on Juvia who raised her head and looked him deep in the eyes.

"Yeah, I want to feel you. All of you and for real this time." Gray tried to find a hint of uncertainty. That she played him in order to gratify him. But he couldn't find one. She was being serious and then kissed him. Not as vehemently as before but slowly and full of promises. Her body would utterly be his and his hers.

"Okay. Yeah, no objections by me", he said after their kiss ended. But if they were going to have sex it would not be in the living room on the sofa. No, Gray decided but before he could even take action Juvia got up and dragged him along all the way to his old bedroom. During that he thought it was best for him to get rid of his pants, only wearing his boxers when they arrived in front of the bed. Juvia then turned around and pushed Gray on the bed.

 _'Still dominant, aren't we?'_

He lay on his back and watched her as she slowly undressed. She let her hot pants fall to the ground and then put her thumbs underneath her black panties only to guide them down her legs. She stepped out of them and then got onto the bed, kneeling over Gray with her legs and hands to each side of him. Instinctly, Gray pulled her down with one hand and reached for her entrance with his other.

"No."

 _'No?'_

"What?", he questioned her. _Not this again_ , he feared. But Juvia still seemed to have her way. Not afraid of what was about to come. But why wouldn't she want to be touched _now_ of all moments? His doubts in her though were answered shortly after as she lowered her lips to his ear and whispered:

"You already took care of _Juvia._ Let me take care of you now, _Gray-sama._ "

As soon as her words left her Juvia slightly regretted saying them. It was meant to sound sexy and trigger his libido rather than to fake anything she wasn't. Gladly, Gray knew that this way of talking only belonged to the Juvia he knew from before her accident. And Juvia knew that Gray knew that because he reacted to it by stroking the sides of her body and groaned, obviously not bothered by her choice of words. Instead, he was excited. Was she really going to do what he hoped she would?

"Close your eyes", she commanded but Gray knitted his brows. Closing them and not watching while she went down on him? How mean! Though, she had never given him a blowjob and probably had a feeling of unease.

"Please. Close them." Gray sighed to himself and shut them as he was told. Who was he to interrupt her when she was going to take him first in her mouth and then in her lady parts? Pride will have a fall, after all...

"Thank you. Now relax and enjoy."

And hallelujah to whomever had taught her what to do. Lucy, Cana, her instincts. Whatever. He enjoyed every part of it. When she grabbed his already hardened shaft with her hand and touched his top with her tongue for the first time, slowly circling around it.

"Oh fuck!"

When she slowly went down on him, fully taking him in until she reached his shaved skin.

"Shit."

When she increased her pace. Sliding up and down, again and again, and always swallowing his whole cock until her speed went to high for her and she replaced her mouth's movement with her hand and only sucked at the end of Gray's penis.

"Juvia. Juvia! Wait"

Juvia did not wait. She remembered quite well what Gray could do to her in only minutes. Her mission for that night was to prove she could do the same. And to do so she tightened her grib on him and circled his sensitive spot even more eagerly.

"Really, stop it there, I'm gonna cum this way!" Gray had to cup Juvia's face and pull at it to make her stop and prevent himself from embarrassment. He was breathing heavily and his cheeks were as red as Juvia's. But they smiled at each other. Gray because he had the hottest girlfriend in the world and Juvia because she knew she'd done it the right way (thanks to Lucy's advice!). And she longed for so much more. Gray drove her imagination crazy. Everything they had done so far felt really good. She wanted to finally do it with him. She bit her lower lip and approached Gray's lips, combining hers with his. She felt his erect member underneath her and suddenly became insecure.

This was as far as she'd go. Arousing him and hoping he'd take control from that point on because he couldn't wait any longer either. That had been her plan. And she was right to think so. Gray pushed Juvia on her back, gave her a last intense kiss and then got off of the bed. He searched for his backpack and rooted around for a condom. As soon as he had one he tore the wrapping apart and put it on his dick. He came back to the bed and covered Juvia's body, placing himself between her legs.

"You're sure about this?"

Juvia touched her boyfriend's cheeks and looked at him with enamored eyes. It was probably the happiest moment of her life. Of course she was sure. Fucking sure.

"Yes."

"Okay."

Juvia prepared herself to feel anything, even pain, and placed her arms around Gray's back. She supposed that if it hurt she would have to cling to him for support. Gray on the other hand lowered himself for a final kiss. With that he pledged that he'd take good care of her. He then looked down to where their bodies were about to fuse. He took his shaft in his right hand and carefully put his glans inside of her. It already felt good for him and he searched for her face again in order to read her expression. Her lips were parted and her brows contracted. She waited for him to slide further inside.

When he tried to dip deeper he realized that her wetness had dried off a bit and only moved with the top of his member inside of her. During that slow motion Gray lay his forehead on top of Juvia's and listened to her breathing. Again and again he kissed her and slowly but surely thrusted deeper in her as she became wetter. Their breathing deepened as well and Gray detected faint moans coming out from her. Did she really enjoy it? Because Gray did. She felt so good around him, so tight. They were finally doing it!

"You're alright?" Gray awaited her response. Only hearing her moans wasn't enough.

"Yes. Ahhh! Yes." He studied her face a bit. She was not allowed to lie there! Gray would feel like a total ass if he took advantage of her body and she surpressed her pain. Noting his concern Juvia assured him that she indeed enjoyed everything he was doing.

"It feels so good", she told him but not only with her words but with her eyes and then her lips that kissed him sealing it.

"Yeah."

"Can you make it faster?" Gray chuckled. She already enjoyed it that much then. He willingly implemented her favor and bumbed more eagerly. To hell with his gentleness and reluctance!

"Ohhhh yes, like that!" Gray could only repeat her words in his head. He hadn't realized he missed sex that much until that moment. For it being their first time they were doing pretty good. Juvia spread her legs as far as she could and Gray had even deeper access into her. At that point he stopped to overthink his actions. He just moved. Juvia was moaning with every hit and so was he. Gray closed his eyes and burried his head in her neck, kissing and sucking at her when he felt the urge to be even closer to her.

Juvia did the same. She squeezed and scratched the skin of his back, pulling him closer and biting his neck when he touched a very sensitive spot inside her.

Oh yes damn good for their first time!

Gray grabbed Juvia's left leg and put it over his shoulder, widening her legs even more and thrusting deeper, harder. Their skin clashed everytime Gray went as low as he could and therefore created smacking sounds that filled the room along with their panting and moaning.

Gray was really close. And he would not last much longer. _Fuck._ He'd come before he had the opportunity to make her have an orgasm.

"Ahhh!" Or he was not? Gray's speed became more intense which led to a loud and long moan by Juvia. At least she had a good time, no matter his ability to make her come. And he was having hell of a damn pleasant time, too. He felt it when he also had to let out a long groan when his fluid filled the condom.

After a pause of heavy breathing Gray released Juvia's leg and collapsed on top of her, his cock still hidden in her.

"That was-", he started but Juvia finished his thoughts instead.

"-better than expected."

"Yeah."

Juvia caressed Gray's back with soft strokes and played with his frizzy hair, not caring that it was sweaty. This was nothing she had imagined it to be. And it would certainly not be the last one during their trip. No, forget that. It would't even be the last time that night. Juvia guessed they'd do it again as soon as Gray recovered.

"Were going to have so much sex from now on."

"Hell, yes!"

* * *

At some point between round two and three, the bluenette lay snuggled up to Gray's side like they had done before, Juvia felt plagued by her guilty conscience. The day had been perfect so far but there was something Juvia had yet to confess.

"Gray, there's something I haven't told you yet."

"What is it?"

"Well, I met Win. And we talked." Gray looked at Juvia in disbelief. Where the heck did _that_ topic come from, and now? When they were naked in bed and in between making love to each other? And why keeping it away from him until that moment?

"When did that happen?"

"A few days ago. When you made pasta for me." Oh Gray remembered that evening very well. Not so much the pasta thing but _her._ It was the first time he had the pleasure of tasting her. And she could have told him then, too. Same odd situation, them being naked and in bed.

"Okay... why didn't you tell me then? Did something happen I should worry about?"

"No. We said our last goodbyes."

"And for that he came back all the way?" He arched his brows. Juvia pussyfooted around and he knew it, hated it. Especially when it was so obvious.

"No. He also told me-"

"Juvia, what is it?"

"He told me about a mage that will most likely be able to bring back my memories."

There it was. She had said it. And there were two possible ways for Gray to react. Number one: lecturing her not to hold something of that importance back, it was about her precious memories after all! Number two: forgetting about the lecture and being overwhelmed that she'll be her old self again.

Her old self. Not this one.

"Really?" He arched his brows even more and looked at her surprised.

"Yeah. She worked with some girls in Bellatrica and succeeded in restoring them. She's already on her way to Magnolia."

"Wow, that's great." He smiled and gave her a peck on her head.

So, reaction number two it was. He would surely like to meet that woman and get Juvia's memories back as soon as possible. And it made Juvia sad. Sad and angry at the same time. Why was she having those thoughts again? Those thoughts that without her memories, without her true identity she wasn't _Juvia Lockser._ Not the one her guild mates and her boyfriend loved... Gray noticed her change of mood.

"Or, it's not? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's a bit frightening. What if we get our hopes high and it won't work?"

"Then it won't."

"And that's it?"

"I told you. If you'll ever remember more of your life that would be awesome. If you won't, then be it that way. I'm already the luckiest man on earth now."

Wow. And he still had problems with his feelings when he could say such things so bluntly? Juvia felt as if she was the one holding back and always doubting when he knew exactly what he wanted and how the world worked.

"Yeah. I'm happy, too."

 _Happy._ That was a very fitting word to describe them and their relationship. Happy and lucky, too. And there was no one and nothing that could take that away from them. Not after all that had happened. Juvia told herself she should picture the things like Gray. They already had everything they needed. A solid basis of trust they would build everything on top of, a strong bond of physical and emotional attraction that pulled them together, reliable friends, health, enough money to make it to the next month... What more can one ask for?

Suddenly and beyond question, Juvia imagined that the man that held his arms around her could be the one she would lie next to in fifty years. And it was weird to think of that. They were still so young. But that image didn't frighten her at all. No, it brought a smile onto her face.

"Say Gray, would you, like... someday... want to...make a home like this again? With me?"

"What stupid question is that? Of course."

* * *

 **I tried to avoid smut and I miserably failed. But I suppose I don't have to be sorry for that :-P They finally did it!**

 **And next chapter, I promise, will contain more progress on the story (there will be three or four more chapters in total btw). So, stay curious!**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **See ya :)**


	14. Times of Happiness

**I'm so sorry for the delay. Summer was killing me. I like the sun but I hate the heat ( I really really hate it! I understand Gray so well). But here it is: the next chapter.**

 **I can't believe we're so near the end. Thank you so much for following this story up 'till now. I'm very excited for the final chapter. But for now: Enjoy this one. Two more to go after this :).**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: Times of Happiness**

* * *

 **August**

Hours, days, weeks had passed and Juvia enjoyed every single one of them with her boyfriend. They had gotten into a very comfortable daily routine. It was either Gray spending the night at Juvia's or the other way round (but Gray's bed was the bigger one which mostly resulted in them sleeping there). Therefore they were one of those disgusting lovey-dovey couples that were inseparable and had to show the world how happy they were.

But as happy as they were, whenever the atmosphere became a bit too silent, a bit too overfilled with tension one could tell they were thinking about that old lady that was supposed to arrive at Magnolia at any minute. To be honest, Juvia was freaking out. She even had nightmares about it (not as bad ones as she used to have when she saw Gray's dying body) but still, anything could happen, right? And it bothered her not only during the night but also by day. Juvia suffered from headaches from time to time because of it. But she couln't tell Gray about it, could she? She hab bothered him with those thoughts enough now. They were supposed to enjoy their time together as much as possible. Too much had happened for them to struggle now with something like that. She wouldn't dare to destroy their new gained happiness.

And there was something else troubling Juvia. It happened on a Thursday afternoon when she did her and Gray's laundry at his place. As a matter of fact - Juvia half moved in without any of them noticing.

"Gray, have you made any plans for the weekend yet?"

Said man who read a magazine on his sofa while Juvia called for him out of his bathroom knew sooner or later she would ask about the upcoming weekend. And he was prepared to trick her.

"Yeah, think I'll pay Lyon a visit. Haven't seen'im in a while." Juvia had only heard of Lyon as Gray's somewhat brother but wasn't aware that Gray would never pay him a visit out of missing him. Gray thought it would seal the deal of distracting her.

"Can I come with you? I really want to meet him!" Of course she wanted to. But she couldn't. It would ruin his actual plan for that weekend.

"No you can't. Remember? This old lady could show up any day. You should stay here."

"Then why are you going? Don't you want to be by my side when she arrives?" By that time Juvia had come into the living room. It irritated her that Gray fed her with such a lame excuse. And not only that. Instead of looking at her he kept up his gaze at the magazine. Even when he answered her.

"I'll be back on Monday. If she has to discuss anything important I'll be back in time. Don't worry about it."

"Hm... okay..."

Of course it wasn't okay. It was suspicious. And it would have been even more suspicious if Juvia had known the bond between Gray and Lyon. But for that time Gray was safe. Juvia could allow him to have some time for himself.

If only she had known that other incidents had yet to occur.

For example that time when Juvia couldn't believe her eyes and questioned a dear person again. It was a day later when she met Gajeel. Or rather - when she saw and called for him. And what did that ignorant friend do? He turned on his heels and almost run away. As if Juvia had the plague or something. What the hell was happening?

Maybe it was her period knocking on the door...

 **###**

 **###**

 **September**

Ok, so it's not been her paranoid period. The reason for everyone to freak out and hide that something was cooking was basically no other than herself, Juvia Lockser. Or to be precise - her birthday. Which she couldn't remember the exact date of course. So when she entered the guild that Saturday's evening she was, to say the least, highly surprised. All her friends and guild mates had gathered and called out to her.

"Juvia!"

"Surprise!"

"Happy birthday!"

"W-what?" was her reaction. Juvia blinked and took a moment to put all the pieces together. Gray hiding his plans for that evening. Lucy and Erza going shopping without her. Gajeel avoiding her completely. It made sense. They prepared all this for her.

There were pastel-colored balloons hanging from the ceiling, a huge buffet, lots of champagne and a table filled with presents.

The first to welcome her in a tight embrace was Lucy. She wore a beautiful pink glitter dress. The second arms to crush her were Cana's. She too wore a dress for a change, a dark red one. And next came Erza, Levy, Gajeel and everyone else imaginable. Thanks to a hint by Lucy Juvia had taken a shower and gotten into a nice dress herself (a light blue one with a golden chain around her waist). She'd feel so out of place if she had not!

"Juvia-chan! How are you?" Among all the familiar heads was one with pale blue and spiky hair. The man that called for her looked a bit older than Gray and his manners seemed to be very polite as he reached for her hand and kissed its back. There was only one person that would fit that description.

"Lyon?" As far as Juvia had been told Lyon was a tall, talanted Ice Mage who grew up with Gray and now worked in a guild named Lamia Scale. With him now being so close to her with a wide smile across his face Juvia would add blatant and upfront to his characteristics. Only when she thought she'd overcome the hurdle of meeting familiar people she couldn't recognize Lyon had to show up. What should she do with him and where was her boyfriend?

Fortunately, Lyon kept on being proactive towards her and took the burden of talking off Juvia's hands.

"How long has it been?" His eyes looked expectantly at her and left her with a loss of words for a moment. How much she wished she could remember something, anything regarding that person in front of her.

"I guess at least seven months?" It was all she could think of. But it was an honest response. At least.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. That wasn't nice. However, this is for you! Happy birthday!"

"Thanks. Sorry I can't remem-"

"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry. I should have come here earlier but I've been on a mission for quite some time I guess. I was so worried when I heard of your circumstances. But here you are, healthy and beautiful as always. Hope that idiot Gray fulfills each and every wish of yours."

Lyon smirked at Juvia and nudged her with his elbow. It was weird. He seemed nice, but still. Weird. Was he flirting with her? With his brother's girlfriend? At her birthday party? He wouldn't dare, would he? Not to mention that her and Gray were a contented couple.

"Don't worry about it. He's perfect."

"Good to hear. So, I'm gonna leave you now. Others want to talk to you, too." Juvia watched Lyon walk away and shrugged the thought of him being too close off. Maybe it was just his nature. He gave that impression when he tapped or hugged her guild mates as soon as he got lost in the shuffle.

After all her friends had overwhelmed her, saying their _happy-birthdays_ and _bet-you-had-no-ideas_ there was still one person left to congratulate her. Gray had waited until the other mages were done, heading out for the food, and he could have a moment with his girlfriend a bit more pirvate. Not to mention he expected her to hit him for not telling her.

They were a few steps apart, staring at each other. Juvia tried her best to put on a serious expression. But the way Gray smiled at her, slowly approaching her with his hands casually covered in his dark jeans' pockets - how could she not smile back at her handsome Gray?

"You tricked me!", she said with puffed cheeks and her arms crossed when he stood right before her.

"Sorry. But it was worth your look. You should have seen yourself. Even now!" and then Gray laughed before giving Juvia an apologetic peck on her lips.

"Happy birthday, Juvia." He held her by her waist and waited for her to reciprocate his approach. And she did after a brief moment. Juvia laid her arms around his shoulders (which were still covered by his white shirt, surprisingly!) and gave him another kiss, a light but tender one.

"Thank you. It's a nice surprise."

As the hours passed by Juvia went from one table and conversation to another. From an appetizer with Gajeel to a very girly chit-chat with Cana, Lucy and some other girls. Now that Gray and Juvia as a couple were not that big of a deal any more it was Lucy who had to experience that torture. Because, her and Natsu? Finally?! There was not a single soul left they could play! Though, it wasn't until that very drunken night that the blonde spat it out.

"Okay, okay. I'll show you! Now will you stop annoying me?", Lucy exclaimed. She gave up to an inciting Erza who ordered Lucy to finally kiss her lover in public. She got off her seat, stomping her way to Natsu who, of course, stood next to the buffet and was chewing a huge bite of roast. She grabbed him at his collar and smashed her lips on his. He didn't even have the time to swallow as he widened his eyes.

"Whow, Lucy, easy there!", he asked embarrassed when the kiss ended.

"Sorry, had to make a point. No hiding any more."

Juvia really had the time of her life. She could die of laughter. She held onto her belly and wiped away a tear when her breath came back to its normal pace. For a moment she watched the setting in front of her. For she sat at a table at the edge of the hall she had the perfect view. Natsu's face was burning just like his fire magic while Lucy elbowed and ordered him to _cut the crap_. But it was quite a scene. And Lucy surprised the hell out of Natsu. Who could blame him?

On another table her bestie Gajeel exchanged flirty glances with his own girlfriend. Juvia couldn't judge him. Levy looked delightful in her dark green strapless dress. They were so different but so perfect for each other. As much as Gajeel tried to hide his feelings. It was adorable the way he blushed from time to time. Just like now, with Levy stroking his arm and leaning into his tall and monstrous figure. She must have said something funny and made him laugh. It sure melted his iron heart right then and there. Which made him look away from her out of discomfort. But only for a second. And then he looked down to his side, smiled at his girlfriend and gave her a peck on the forehead. The next thing Juvia knew was Levy feeding him with a piece of cake. Yes, feeding(!) Gajeel(!). And that made Juvia look away from the couple with her cheeks covered in red. That was a picture she wouldn't get out of her head for a while. But still, it made her happy that her friends were as happy as her and Gray.

And now that she thought about it. There was quite an amount of couples out there. Not only Gajeel, Levy, Natsu and Lucy. Erza stood in a courner across the room, playing with her hair and obviously flirting through the lacrima against her ear with a certain blue haired man.

Bisca and Alzack had been together anyway, like since always.

Elfman had his arm around Evergreen's shoulders and whispered into her ear which gave a very seductive staging.

Mirajane and Laxus had a great time dancing in the middle of the room, too.

Even Carla and Happy were kind of flirting with each other, sharing a plate and eating together with those longing stares at each other.

Thinking of which. Where was her boyfriend? For a change Juvia and Gray had not been glued to each other. There were too many people that stole her away from him, handing over presents or taking her to the side for small talk. But she didn't mind that at all. But after a lot of drinks and girls talk she'd not have anything against some flirting time herself. So where was he?

Juvia searched the room, her eyes scanning from her right to the left. At the buffet Lucy and Natsu still teased each other. Gajeel and Levy finished their meals. Erza blushed at something the other person said to her through the phone, there were people dancing, some black-haired girl fiddling with Gray's shirt at the bar, Happy smiling sillily at Carla-

Wait.

Another woman flirting with HER Gray?

WHAT?!

Juvia's mouth fell apart. Maybe she was imagining things with the cats but THAT was not gonna happen. No way. No other woman was allowed to touch and even think to steal her boyfriend! But just to make sure her eyes were not betraying her Juvia rubbed them with her hands and blinked a few times. When she could see clearly back again the shocking feeling inside her chest became even heavier. That bitch leaned over to Gray. Was she trying to kiss him?

Not.

Gonna.

Happen.

Juvia almost rushed upon them. She didn't care who that girl was nor did she care if Gray knew her. She simply had to free her boyfriend out of that witches clutches.

"Sorry to interrupt but-", the Water Mage grabbed Gray's arm and meanmugged the other woman. Both her and Gray were speechless because Juvia emerged from nowhere.

"Juvia-" was all Gray said before she clarified _'he's mine!'_ and led him towards somewhere quieter, leaving the puzzled girl behind.

"What the- where're you takin' me?"

It wasn't until Juvia abducted the Ice Mage inside a noiseless storeroom that she let go of his arm and countered with another question, arms crossed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Honestly, Gray didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't do anything. It was almost as if her reasonless self had come back.

"Excuse me?" But Juvia narrowed her eyes and straightened herself. How could Gray be so ignorant?

"You're obviously flirting with that black-haired snake." But that accusation irritated the Ice Mage, his voice raised when he replied. Was the air becoming cooler?

" _Me_ flirting?"

"Yes. And I don't like it." Gray grinded his teeth. How could the evening turn out like this?

"Well, what were _you_ doin' out there?" I don't like the way you look at Lyon either!" Not that he gave a fuck. Not any more. Not because of Lyon. But now that he was the one accused of something stupid like that he could as well throw the words back at Juvia.

"What?!"

"I can't believe that bastard's still so slimy around you! And you fall for it!"

"He's not. Lyon is very polite and sincere. Unlike you. You're making that bitch all horny for you." Oh how hard it was not to argue against that. But Gray contained himself. If he did otherwise his choice of words would have been more than nasty.

 _'Great_ ', he thought. Juvia boiled with rage, he froze the atmosphere and they just stared at each other for a far too long moment. However, fighting over this availed to nothing. Gray knew that look in Juvia's eyes too well, a mixture of jealousy, stubbornness and intoxication written in them. He exhaled, closed his eyes and did his best to calm himself and most of all his voice for his next move.

"Juvia, you're being ridiculous."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Especially when you drink." He had a point. Not only had she been told that she was a mess when drunk she had also experienced it herself for a couple of times now. Damn Cana!

Juvia let her shoulders and arms drop.

"Maybe a little. But she laid her eyes on you whether you're flirting or not."

She was about to apologize when a thought crossed her mind.

"I think I have to remind you of who your center of interest should be." Juvia slowly approached Gray. When she reached him she put her index finger against his chest and looked him deep in the eyes, pushing him backwards until the man was captured between her and a table behing him.

"Juvia, you-" But there was no time for Gray to conclude as Juvia had her lips already pressed on his. Even if confused he wrapped his arms around her waist and answered her efforts, granting her tongue access. Everything happened so fast. Juvia was quite eager to unbutton his shirt, stroking his chest and then going down to his belt. And again, how did the evening turn out into something like that now?

"What are you doin'?",Gray asked in between passionate kisses and Juvia broke apart in order to give him an imperious and lustful look.

"I'm one hell of a girlfriend. Do not ever forget that! Besides-" She kept on undressing Gray, lowering his pants but held eye contact while doing so. The baffled man in front of her intended to interrupt her but she didn't quite let him.

"I do know that."

"-you deserve this. After all - I've only given you _that_ kind of treatment once. And it was cut short." And with _that_ she hinted at going down on him in a very pleasant way.

"Juvia-" His cheeks bright reddened Gray still questioned if she was really going to give him a blowjob. It would be too good to be true. And way too odd. Because, hell, they were in a storeroom with their friends only meters away. And if Gray remembered correctly, Juvia did NOT lock the door.

"Shh!" Juvia put her finger on top of Gray's lips. They had enough of talking. And she wasn't a good partner for communication anyway, not in her current state of dizziness. But she knew how to use her mouth in another way. So, Juvia didn't hesitate to fall on her knees and free Gray from his underwear. When she took his member in her hand Gray gasped and grabbed Juvia's shoulders.

"Holy shit! Juvia!"

"I said shh!" For a moment the two of them fought a non-verbal battle, dark blue eyes against black ones. The picture must have looked pretty bizarre with Juvia kneeling and holding Gray's cock as he asked himself why the fuck he was trying to stop her in the first place. No one had noticed that they were gone. And even if no one would dare to interrupt them while _arguing_ , right? Besides, they'd be done in less than ten minutes if Juvia meant business.

In the end Gray sighed and gave up.

"I can't believe this."

He put his hands back on the edge of the table and let Juvia prove whatever she had in mind. Juvia also relaxed and then paid his still limp penis her attention. How long would it take her to change that?

The answer? Not even a minute.

Not with her lips around his peak while her hands took care of his shaft and his balls. In a very slow but pleasant way. Juvia had the man right where she wanted him to be. And to finally be able to finish what she had started satisfied her, too.

"Hmm." And his noises! They were music to her ears. She could almost feel his eyes burning into her. Juvia knew how much Gray liked to watch her, regardless if she was the dominant one or the one responding to his pounding into her. And indeed, Gray was watching her. He followed her movements attentively because, geez, the sight was divine! A girl at his feet sucking _him_ on _her_ party. And not any girl, the one he fell in love with and would fall for a hundred times again. Was it selfish to savor the moment like this? After all, maybe, just maybe Juvia had been right. That other girl may have been attracted to him because he was being a bit too nice to her. And Gray Fullbuster wasn't somebody to be known for his open-hearted vein. For a second Gray thought the best thing to do, for his conscience and Juvia, was to let her participate, to have her from behind, leaning over the table that stabilized him at that very second. But he could deal with being selfish for once. It's been her idea anyway.

"Ahh..." He rarely groaned but Juvia constantly elicited exactly that. As much as Gray loved to watch her he felt overwhelmed by her endeavors and therefore closed his eyes and threw his head back. She was doing it just the right way. Too right. The Ice Mage felt his release boiling up. With each and every move of her tongue around his glans and her hand going up and down Gray realized he had to warn Juvia eventually. He had always come inside a condom (or his underwear) but never in her mouth. Would she like it? Would she spit it out if not? It would propably be best not to find that out now, not at that place.

"Fuck." But she felt too good. Instead of stopping her mouth from working Gray enjoyed her a little longer, holding her head in place with his left hand and clutching the table tightly with the other. Until a moment later he had to make her stop or else wouldn't be able to do so in time.

"Wait, I'm about to-" He cupped her cheeks and pushed her backwards, his eyes fixed on his girl again. But Juvia didn't follow his instructions. Not at all. Quite the opposite, she expedited her speed, very well aware that Gray was about to cum any second.

 _'Well, who am I to object...'_ he thought. If she wanted to have him that way, be it! Gray moved his hand in sync with her head and then ejaculated right into her. He observed her suck it all, missing not even one drop. Was it reprehensible to remind himself of how much he loved that girl now of all moments? Maybe...

Maybe not.

He could do that more often. Definitely.

"Get up", he prompted and pulled his girl up.

"No. Wait-..." Juvia struggled. If they kissed Gray would probably taste himself. And she knew what could happen. She remembered Levy's story...

"I don't care." And Gray kissed her no matter her complaints, tongueless but still sensually. It was useless for Juvia to resist, not with his hands tightly around her waist. That was why she soon gave in, titled her head and grabbed his neck. They stayed that close even after their kiss with their foreheads against each other. Gray was the first one to break the silence and brought Juvia back to the here and now.

"That was really good. And crazy. If this is what I get on _your_ birthday, then what's it gonna be on _my_ birthday?" Seriously, how was she supposed to top that?

"Shut up." Juvia shyly punched her boyfriend but instantly smiled when she listened to his next words.

"I love you." Her heart melted straightaway. She gave Gray a peck on his lips and returned his confession. In doing so she looked him deep in the eyes.

"I love you, too."

* * *

In the aftermath of their little contention Gray had asked Juvia to leave the room on her own. Not only because he needed a bit more time to recover but also to ally any suspicion. Ten minutes or so later he decided to go back as well and casually walked over to the buffet. He could use a bite to backfill his energy reserves, though he didn't do much. After two plates of mixed vegetables, rice and meat balls on his own Natsu disturbed his peace.

"Yo, Ice Princess. What's up?" Gray didn't even deign to look at his frenemy. One fight was more than enough for that night. Not to mention that fights with Natsu usually didn't end as gratifying as ones you have with your girlfriend.

"Whaddaya want, flame brain?" Gray cherished the hope that he could fob Natsu off easily. But contrary to his expectations the Dragon Slayer put his hand on top of Gray's left shoulder and gave him a serious look.

"No, seriously, how're you doin'? Saw you and Juvia leavin' a few minutes ago. And she looked damn pissed." If only Natsu knew what came after. Only imagining it for a second made Gray hem. There was no way he could go into details regarding their dispute.

"She's alright. Had a little stupid fight. It was nothing." And yet again Gray avoided Natsu's eyes, wishing to drop the topic.

"If you say so." Thinking of his girlfriend. Gray didn't miss the fact that Natsu and Lucy handled their relationship rather openly that evening.

"What about you? Lucy? Finally?" With a smirk on his face and one of his brows raised Gray couldn't hide his innuendo. Sheepishly, Natsu only scratched his temple.

"Yeah. Crazy, right?"

"Not so much. It was embarrassing watching you the whole time pussyfoot around each other."

Honestly, how could they take so long to finally get together? They had done several jobs, only the two of them. If not for Lucy Natsu's diet would consist of instant noodle soups and Happy's fishy leftovers. The poor girl took care of his household from time to time and Natsu started to sleep at Lucy's place years ago. They had been in a relationship for some time anyway if they were honest with themselves.

 _'You're such a hypocrate, asshole'_ Gray mentally added to himself.

"What lucky bastards we are, right?" And with that Natsu read right into Gray's thoughts.

* * *

In the end everyone partied a bit too hard. Almost nobody had made it back to their own homes. The floor was smothered with the corpses of the last night's activities.

Summarized - just like any other usual weekend.

The first one to wake up was Erza. She lay on her back on top of the bar, one arm over her belly and the other underneath her head. She heard the front doors open and blinked a few times before looking at the one intruding the guild. It was way too early to deal with her hangover or anything else. At least it looked like a friendly old woman had walked in. She wore her white hair in a bun and a quite old-fashioned gray coat. It could be worse.

Erza scratched her head and approached the lady that appeared unfamiliar. When they were only meters apart she heard the woman speak first.

"Well, I've heard stories about Fairy Tail but this still surprises me." So she was a stranger after all, the red head thought.

"Excuse me, who are you?"

"You can call me Maravilla", she streched out her hand and continued when Erza accepted and replied with her own name, "I'm looking for a girl named Juvia Lockser."

If she was sober and fully recovered Erza would have asked for more details before trusting a stranger's words but that was out of question. She needed more sleep.

"Juvia, here's someone who wants to talk to you." Juvia for her part needed a bit longer to apprehend what was happening. She had sleept on top of a table next to Gray where she intended to lie much longer but Erza called her again.

"Just a second", she grunted before getting up into a kneeling position. She absolutely had one or two or maybe ten too many glasses of champagne last night. But her grim face and uncomfortableness vanished as soon as she spotted the old lady staring at her. Could it be? The girl draw nearer as fast as her wobbly legs would carry her. When she stood in front of the unknown visitor the old lady must've noticed Juvia's uneasiness and therefore immediately introduced herself with a cordial smile.

"Hello my dear. I am Maravilla. Win sent me to help you. He told me a lot about you." It was all Juvia had to hear. Her guess had been right. The moment had come! Finally. Juvia's eyes widened and she took the woman's hands in her own. She was so happy Maravilla really existed and had come all the way. Also nervous but mostly happy.

"Oh thank you so much for coming! How's your travel been? It wasn't too prolonged or stressful, was it?"

"Don't worry about me. Let us talk about you. But maybe you wouldn't mind to go somewhere else? This place seems a bit devastated, don't you think?" Juvia couldn't agree more. Only a brief look over her shoulder told her that this was not the appropriate place to talk about her issues. She would have liked it if Gray came along but he seemed more dead than alive.

"Of course!"

The Water Mage suggested to go for a walk and talk while strolling around Magnolia's streets. Her nervousness aside she felt rather comfortable around the woman beside her. There was something about her that promised she was in good hands.

"So, tell me girl, how are you?" And yet again Maravilla bestowed Juvia her caring expression. It made her feel optimistic. Perhaps a few days into the future she will have all her memories back.

"Well, if it wasn't for my loss of memory I'd say pretty good, actually."

"So, there is nothing you remember? Maybe some fragments or pictures?", the woman probed into it. And of course, there were fragments. Ones that scared Juvia and sent shivers down her spine.

"I had some weird dreams that turned out to be memories. But only a few." Much as Juvia trusted her companion she didn't want to go into detail of those dreams. Luckily, Maraville didn't ask about their content but broke out in a new direction, her once friendly face now poring if Juvia interpreted it correctly. She didn't like it.

"Okay, and have you felt sick in any way? Maybe permanent tiredness, headaches, stomachaches?"

"Not really. Well, maybe headaches from time to time, now that I think about it." Juvia looked at Maravilla expectantly. But her eyes darkened even more. Her expression was deadly serious.

"When was the first time you had a flashback?"

"I think two months ago."

That being said the older woman stopped dead in her tracks. She no longer looked stern but worried now. She reached for Juvia's hand and then spoke:

"This is bad. Very bad. I'm afraid to say this, my dear, but I need to work on your mind as soon as possible. I'll be honest with you - the ones that start to regain their memories on their own usually happen to fall back into a coma and never wake up again."

* * *

 **I'm truly sorry for making you wait so long. But I started this chapter weeks ago and couldn't finish it. I wasn't happy with it at all. I'm still not satisfied with it. More than 5000 words but almost no content. Sry for that.**

 **Anyway, hope you liked it in any way!**

 **I wish I could say the cat's out of the bag. But you have to jitter for a last time. Dark magic really is nasty. Poor Juvia.**

 **Thanks for reading, see ya!**


	15. To remember or not to remember

**It's the second last chapter! OMG!**

 **I've found my spirit to write again.**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: To remember or not to remember**

* * *

The conversation with Maravilla had left Juvia speechless and preoccupied. Like fallen into trance she returned back to the guild, trapped in her thoughts full of fear. Why was there the possibility to fall back into a coma? Why was remembering parts of her past a bad thing? There were way too many questions the old woman had yet to clarify. But for now the poor girl had to share her knowledge with somebody. She had to talk to Gray about it and hopefully he'd have something encouraging to say.

When she arrived at the guild it still looked as destroyed as before. No wonder, it was early in the morning after all. Therefore she had no intension of waking anybody but Gray up. Juvia made her way to him in an instant and expected him to react grumpy when she shook him. Which he did. He grumbled when Juvia grabbed one of his arms and whispered to him.

"Gray, wake up." He frowned but kept his eyes shut. How frustrating this man could be sometimes! It took Juvia another joggle and more pleadings for Gray to finally respond with words and one of his eyes half-opened.

"Don't be so noisy. Come back to sleep." There was no way Juvia would find back to sleep. She needed her boyfriend to be there for her. Now!

"No, get up, please", she begged again. And her worried face told Gray that something wasn't right.

"What's up?", he asked with a severe look, his hand on Juvia's as she still hold onto his arm.

"Maravilla's here." Gray widened his eyes in an instant and sat up.

"What? Really? Where?"

"She went to a hotel for rest. But we've already talked." Gray had a bad vibe about that. If it wasn't something of high importance Juvia had not woken him up so early. And cartainly not with that face.

"So? What's wrong? You don't look good."

"It's... can we go home and talk?" It had to be something serious, Gray thought. Maybe Juvia couldn't be helped and that information had depressed her. Maybe she was about to cry any moment and needed comfort.

"Sure, just let me get my clothes." The Ice Mage was going to get up and search for his missing pieces when Juvia pointed to their side.

"Here, I've got them." He smiled and gladly took his jeans and shirt. She must have put them aside before they went to sleep. Sometimes Gray wondered how high his expenses for new clothes would be if it wasn't for Juvia who always got them prepared for him. He'd be helpless. How had he survived before he had met her?

Whatever was bothering her now he'd make sure to be her tower of strenght.

Back at Gray's place Juvia went into the kitchen and filled to glasses of water. The moment she got back into the living room Gray had already settled on his sofa and awaited his girl. But instead of spitting out what happened during the talk with Maravilla she stared into space after taking a seat next to him. Gray surveyed her profile. It was inanimate. It appeared that she didn't know how to handle the situation. It was worse than a crying Juvia. It meant she was afraid of something.

"Okay, so what did she say?", Gray asked with a calm voice. Even so Juvia kept her dead stare. She was at a loss for words. To be honest she was scared stiff. From what she was told by Win Maravilla was supposed to be a great healer for mental diseases caused by dark magic. But her expression when she said she needed to work on her brain as soon as possible scared the shit out of Juvia. Not to mention she left out the details of the dark spell. But Gray had been through so much with her that Juvia was willing to pull herself together, to control her emotions for once. She kept her focus on the glass in front of her, took a deep breath and only then began to explain.

"She asked about my sanitary condition. And I told her that I feel good, most of the time. Some headaches but nothing dramatic. That I already remembered some events and that I'm very happy to have her here for further help. But..."

Juvia paused for a moment. The words brought tears to her eyes and she couldn't hide her fears any more. She bit her lower lip and suppressed a whimper before she found her words again.

"Gray, this is serious. She said she needs to fix my mind as soon as possible. That it's no good sign that I remember random things during the nights. And that's all. She wants to explain everything tomorrow. She'll talk to Makarov about it this evening and by tomorrow morning I'm supposed to come to the hospital and she'll work on me right away."

Since her attention was still bent on something afar and not her dialogue partner Gray touched her arms and turned her towards him.

"Wait, what? Headaches? You didn't tell me about that!"

"I'm sorry, but yes. I'm having headaches lately. And apparently, it's a bad thing." There was another recess. No one blinked. Gray's grasp loosened. Juvia's expression saddened even more. The next thing she said almost faded away.

"I'm scared, Gray."

Gray examined her once more. Her hands that rested in her lap were shaking, her glazed eyes were drowned in tears, her cheeks were puffed and reddened. He wished he could say something. But his tongue felt numb, his mouth dry. There was an enormous lump in his throat that refused to go down. He hated it. He hated that Juvia was in so much pain and all he did was gaze at her.

"Say something, please!", she craved. Her high-pitched voice scratched at his eardrums and gave him a punch to the midriff. If there was a thing that was angst-inducing it was a crying Juvia shuddering with fear. But it flipped a switch. Gray reached for her upper body and took her in a protective embrace.

"Come here."

He buried his face in her neck. It was then when Juvia was overwhelmed by convulsive sobbing. She clutched at his back and pressed her watery eyes into his chest. For a moment the only things Gray registered were her whimpering and hammering heartbeat into his torso.

"I don't get any of this. But I'm here with you. Everything's gonna be alright. We should just wait and tomorrow she'll tell us more about it. Don't panic."

It was easier said than done. Throughout the day Juvia began to cry out of nowhere. Again. And again. And again. And when she wasn't crying she lay on Gray's sofa or bed and stared dead ahead, sometimes dozing but never really asleep. Gray decided that it was best not to talk to Juvia about her issues. Instead he solaced her by hugging her, by stroking her and running his fingers through her hair. It helped, most of the times. But they were unable to find any peace of mind until the night when tiredness grew too heavy on them.

* * *

The next day Gray and Juvia wasted no time in visiting Magnolia's hospital. They sat in an anteroom that led to Maravilla's current office. While Gray tapped his foot nervously Juvia counted the seconds that passed until the door opened. Maravilla asked them inside, pointed at two chairs and took a seat on the other side of her desk. After short introductions had been made Gray couldn't stand the awkward tension ang got straight to the point.

"So, what's the situation? Juvia said she needs to be treated right away. And that it might be troublesome."

As soon as the elderly woman spoke Gray comforted Juvia by covering her hand with his. He felt her anxiety dominate the room. She didn't give the impression to talk much. She came to listen not to discuss. It was his turn to assume that duty.

"Well, first you two need to understand how that spell works. Basically, it creates a barrier between one's consciousness and access to memories. The man Juvia fought was once my partner. We worked together, we helped people forget about painful events that caused them mental illnesses until he chose a different, evil path. As you know he used his abilities to abduct and manipulate innocent girls. Technically speaking, I'm also able to create, but most of all, remove those barriers. And that's what I hope to do."

Gray peered at the miserable girl beside him, questioned if she changed her mind and would speak for herself. But she didn't. So he pressed Maravilla himself.

"You _hope_? What's the big deal?"

"Usually, the barrier would be easy for me to find and remove. But since Juvia's already remembered something of her past it's much harder to locate it. Sometimes a victim's brain is activly fighting the spell and therefore effects holes and blurred borders in the barrier. That is also the reason for her headaches. And it won't stop there. If not removed the impact of the spell will lead on to heavier pain until her brain cannot take the struggle any more. Her body will collapse and eventually die."

The healer's words were hard to handle. Not only for Juvia. The mention of the word _die_ always sent shivers down Gray's spine. But at heart all Gray and Juvia wanted an answer to was one question.

"Can you help her?" Maravilla held her breath for a moment and chose her next words wisely. She sympathized with the couple in front of her. She hoped for the best but there was no use to lie either.

"I will try. First I will check on her condition. Juvia will have to drink a potion that makes her fall into a deep sleep. That way I can have a closer look on the damage. On another day she will have to drink another potion, similar but stronger. I will try to remove it and if that is not possible mold it back into its original shape. But whether or not I'm successful remains to be seen."

It was the best the older woman could give them. And it strained the mages on the other side of the desk, that much she could tell. Gray's body tensed up and Juvia didn't look up from the floor. The sight was piteous.

"You should not feel too daunted, Juvia", Maravilla began which caught the Water Mages attention, "you seem like a vital and tough young woman. I'm positive to help you one way or another."

"Thank you", Juvia managed to reply but her words didn't reach her sorrowful eyes.

* * *

Maravilla convinced Juvia to stay at the hospital and implemented her first analysis. But that step required a lot of time and Juvia didn't want Gray to loaf around at the hospital all day. She ordered him off to kill time at the guild instead. He noticed some familiar faces but picked a lonesome table to drink his beer. He took a huge gulp and put his mug back on the table a bit rougher than needed.

"Hey Gray, has your hangover finally faded away? Haven't seen you yesterday." It was Cana's voice that cut its way into his left ear. He sighed. Why was fate always giving him a hard time?

"I didn't have one." Cana raised an eyebrow. She didn't miss the dreary and depressed sound of his voice. She took the seat in front of him and darted a concerned look at him.

"You're alright? You look like shit." Gray kept his idle glance at his mug and didn't say anything against Cana's harsh words. She was probably right. Maybe he hadn't suffered from a hangover the day before but caring for a crying Juvia had taken its toll on him not any less.

"Juvia's in hospital." That information alarmed Cana. Except for Gray it was her who had suffered the greatest trauma from Juvia lying in a sickbed.

"What? Why?"

"That woman we've been waiting for arrived yesterday. She's having a closer look on Juvia right now. It all happend very fast."

"Then why are you here?"

 _'Yes, why am I here? Why am I such a worthless person, doing nothing but moping around, drinking again, bearing everything on my own?..._

 _Because there is_ nothing _I can do...'_

For the first time Gray raised his head and eyed Cana desperately.

"There's not much I can do. Juvia won't wake up for the next hours." With his eyes back on his drink Gray proceeded with his wailing.

"I have a bad feeling, Cana. Juvia could fall into a coma if things go wrong."

"It's Juvia you're talking about, dammit! Have a little more trust in your girl! She's strong. She'll make it." Seconds of silence went by. Gray apprehended Cana's position at a slow pace. But in the end he understood. Juvia truly was a brave person with a strong will to survive and live for the people she loved. All he required was a bit of trust.

"Thanks."

* * *

During the course of the day more of his friends showed up and joined his table. Gray declared what had happened in brief words. Some were shocked, others worried but in conclude everyone promised to lend him their support and help get through the next day. They encouraged but principally distracted him from his worries with stupid jokes, card games and more beer.

In the evening he went back to the hospital and remained in Juvia's room until she woke up. When she finally opened her eyes and groaned he greeted her with a weak but honest smile.

"Hey." Juvia looked to her right, replied with her own _hey_ and smiled back at her boyfriend. She pulled her left hand out from under the sheets and reached for Gray's ones.

"How do you feel?"

"A bit tired." _Tired_ was an understatement. Gray could tell a thing or two about being tired. But Juvia appeared exhausted by whatever surgery Maravilla had put her through. But it would pay off. Gray had a good feeling since he had talked to his friends and the Healing Mage when he had arrived at the hospital.

"I talked to Maravilla. It's as she said. The lines between your mind and the barrier are fuzzy. But nothing she can't fix. She'll tell you herself tomorrow before the procedure."

As if not even listening to his words Juvia loosened her grip on his hands, moved to the right edge of her bed and eyed Gray.

"Can you come to me?", she begged him. Gray complied with Juvia's wish and lay down next to her, his right arm underneath her head and his other one around her. He stroked her back in faint circles and felt her small body huddling up against him. Something was still on her mind; doubts, fear, nervousness.

"You know what? Somehow I'm not that scared." And it was the truth. The Ice Mage was sanguine tuned and hoped his mood could rub off on her.

"Is that so?", the girl gently asked. She appreciated his efforts. However, everything that had happened the last two days weakened her physique and psyche.

"Yeah. I trust Maravilla when she said she's optimistic. And after all we've been through I don't think things will turn against us. We deserve peace." In order to highlight his view he cupped Juvia's face and made her look up to him. If not his words changed her mind maybe his eyes would. He gave her a meaningful and auspicious look. Even so, her worried expression wouldn't fade away.

But as if he'd give up! Gray leaned in and placed his lips on Juvia's. He put as much promising endeavor in it as possible and kissed her slowly.

Juvia internalized his words once more. She pressed her fingers in Gray's neck and relaxed more and more as long as the kiss lasted. His lips worked wonders. Each move, each suck on her soothed her and slowly but surely Gray cast his own spell over her. Still, the meaning of his saying couldn't wash away her qualms. When parted Juvia opened her eyes and shared that one fear that aggrieved her the most.

"If I don't make it-"

"Don't say such things!" Gray cut in and didn't let her finish. That was an option he would not imagine. A possibility he didn't want to even hear. He sealed her pessimimistic lips again but this time put more passion in it. He pushed her back and leaned over her, kissing her hungrily now which Juvia tolerated for a few minutes but then pushed him up.

"Gray, if I don't make it promise me to never give up."

"What's that even supposed to mean?"

"If I don't make it try to find happiness without me. It's like you said. You deserve it." There was no happiness without her. He frowned upon her plea. It sounded as if she really considered her death a possible outcome.

"Juvia, stop saying stupid things. You'll be alright and you'll be by my side."

"You have to promise! Either way, if you're with or without me, you'll keep on living your life and make the best of it!" Even if underneath his bigger body Juvia didn't acknowledge defeat by Gray. Therefore he surrendered and gave his word as he was told.

"Okay, I promise. But we'll be fine, trust me." He gave her another peck on the lips and after that rose just to take off his necklace. He lay back on top of Juvia and afterwards tied the item around her.

"Here take this."

"Why would you give your necklace to me?"

"You can keep it as a lucky charm until you wake up after your treatment. And if everything went well you'll give it back to me." This time it was Juvia who reached out for her partner's face in order to close the gap between them.

"Okay", she ultimately said.

* * *

The next day was horrible. When he didn't sit on a chair, his face burried in his hands, Gray paced up and down the hospital's hallways most of the time. Although his friends kept him company throughout the hours of excruciating waiting all he could think of was Juvia's condition. All conviction aside there was still that persistant voice in his head that told him that under certain circumstances Juvia might not end up well.

 _'What if she never wakes up again?_

 _What if she forgets everything once again?_

 _What if Maravilla couldn't do anything and she's in terrible pain?_

 _What if her brain gives up and she...'_

In that time of suffering Lucy was the one to remind him of eating at least a sandwich she had prepared for him.

Cana helped by buying coffee for everyone and remaining sober for once.

Gajeel occupied the one seat next to him, making sure no one pestered Gray with to much talking.

Erza held other visitors and annoying doctors off with her sinister look.

Even Natsu played his part in assisting. Not once did he say anything insulting but put his hand on his best friend's shoulder for a few times, letting him know he was there for him.

By late afternoon Maravilla came out of Juvia's surgery room. She told the group to stay patient. She explained that from her point of view everything indeed went well. Juvia would wake up again. Nevertheless, it was up to see whether she would remember her past or not.

As more time elapsed Gray told his friends to leave. It was getting late and by the moment Juvia would wake up he wanted to be alone with her anyway. He assured that he'd call for them if anything happened and he needed someone.

A few minutes before midnight Maravilla returned to Gray and gave him an inviting nod to follow her into Juvia's room. His figure stiffened for a moment. His heartbeat began to throb. And his breathing became difficult. He clenched his knees for a few seconds before he was able to push his weight off the chair. He followed the elderly woman inside the room and captured Juvia, already in a sitting position, dangling her legs down the bed and staring out through the opened window into the silent night. Gray wetted his lips and pronounced her name.

"Juvia..." She caught him right away and looked startled, though it was hard for Gray to tell if it was because she heard her name and his voice or simply because someone had appeared in her room. She scrutinized him from top to bottom as if she didn't believe her eyes, as if he was a ghost.

"Do you recognize me?" asked Gray cautiously. He still stayed in the dark. For a moment he wished time would stand still. Or that he had not posed that question. Because if she didn't remember him he'd rather stay like this, not knowing anything instead of breaking down since they might return to the point where she couldn't recognize anything or anybody.

In the meantime Juvia got up from her bed and took careful steps towards Gray, her patient clothing and blue hair waving in the cold breeze that came through the window. She didn't blink nor did she avert her gaze from him. And she didn't say a word, her bare foot touching the ground the only noise in the room. They both kept quiet until she stood in front of Gray and embraced him in a tight hug. Next she moved her left hand to meet Gray's one that still drooped numbly to his side and she widened his fingers to give something to him.

"I return this to you." Juvia closed Gray's hand with her own and the man realized the familiar object in an instant.

It was his necklace.

His eyes expanded and became runny. If she gave it back to him, did it mean...

"It worked?" he questioned shakily. He sensed that Juvia was also a trembling picture of misery. She began to snivel and squeezed his back again.

"Yes, I remember. I remember everything, Gray-sama."

It took a load off Gray's mind and tensed body. He relaxed and at long last was able to control his muscles again, to tell them to hug Juvia back.

 _'She remembers...I have her back!_ _'_

Tears fell down his cheeks and the man began to sob as he nearly crushed Juvia's shoulders out of relief.

She didn't complain.

In fact she reciprocated his non-verbal gladness and tightened her grip.

"I love you so much. All this time you stayed by my side."

* * *

 **Uff, this was intense. She remembers, yaaay.**

 **Buuut. There's still one more chapter to go. There's a lot more beyond this reunion I have to tell. So stay tuned!**

 **Hope you liked it.**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **See ya!**


	16. Memories

**Last but not least!**

 **Not much to say, enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Memories**

* * *

 **Present**

"Hey Juv. What's up? I'm early today, I know."

Gray took his usual seat next to his sleeping beauty and continued his monologue. Juvia wasn't that talkative lately.

"Couldn't sleep that long. That freakin' flame brain drives me crazy. You might think Lucy'd be the one going ape but no. Pinkie's all _what food are we gonna eat_ and _what color should my tuxedo have - black or white._ That wedding's gonna be a chaos, I can tell you. If it wasn't for Erza who's punching him in the face from time to time I wouldn't know what I'd do to him."

Minutes passed before Gray spoke again. He observed Juvia who lay in bed in front of him, taken into a permanent state of unconsciousness. She looked like she could open her eyes any second. Though, Gray knew better.

"What am I even talking about...", he whispered to himself.

"You probably don't get a single word I'm saying. This is useless." He took a deep, wobbly breath and inspected his folded hands down in his lap. It was hard to see his girlfriend like that. Yet, it was all he had left of her. A faded shadow of what one could call Juvia Lockser, a buoyant and cheerful mage of Fairy Tail. Everyday Gray would visit her at the hospital, talk to her and retain the possibility that one day she'd answer to his narrations. That a miracle would occur.

He looked up to meet his girlfriend's numb body. Her hair was spread out underneath her head, her arms lay next to her body on top of the sheets that covered her from her waist downwards. Her chest moved up and down, slowly but consistantly. She was as beautiful as ever and seemed at peace. But it had been a long time since Gray had seen her awake. She was trapped in an isolated state and what bothered him the most was the tube that connected her lungs with the respiratory machine. The one and only thing that parted her from complete demise.

"You know, after Maravilla had treated you, those months - we were finally able to live in peace. Not thinking what might be or not be. No worries, no stupid fights. Yeah, yeah, I know. We had disagreements. Like, when you wanted to infiltrate my bedroom with your silly plushies or when you freaked out around Christmas time..."

* * *

 _December, fourteen months ago_

 _"Gray-sama, where did you move the box? The one with lametta and fairy lights in it."_

 _"Juvia, I didn't touch anything. I told you - you wanna make a winter wonderland out of this place you gotta do it yourself."_

 _God, how frustrating men could be! Juvia crossed her arms and gave Gray a provoking glare. Said man however leaned against his kitchen unit and stirred his coffee._

 _"What?" He asked unfazed. He had made it pretty clear that during the Christmas season Juvia couldn't demand much of him. He would help to decorate the guild, he would buy her a personal and considerate present and he would wear that stupid dancing and blinking reindeer sweater she had made for him. But he would definitely not help her turning their apartment into Santa's second home._

 _Yes, their apartment as in Gray's former one. As the months went by it turned out to be inevitable for Juvia to move in. Actually, the girl had moved in the same day she had been discharged from hospital. Ever since that day, or to be precise, that night they had been inseparable._

 _The second Gray wrapped his arms around his Juvia, the one that he originally had fallen for, he did not let go of her until the next morning. He had held her hand during her final examination, they had walked home hand in hand and they had spooned throughout the rest of the night._

 _"You said you'd like it if we put some christmas decoration here and there." To defend her position Juvia put on her cutest puppy eyes and approached Gray, wrapping her arms around his waist. Gray still wasn't much affected though._

 _"No, what I said is that you can do whatever you want since I won't be able to convince you otherwise anyway. But I won't lift a finger and help. This was your idea."_

 _Finished stirring, Gray took a sip of his drink and ignored the girl's efforts to persuade him._

 _"Gray-sama, you're being mean!" That was when an idea crossed Juvia's mind. If something propitiated Gray it was body language._

 _"Maybe I can bring you around one way or another." She let her hands slide underneath Gray's shirt and stroked his well-defined belly._

 _"Won't work. If I want sex I can have it anyway. And you know it." Game, set and match to Gray. Yes, he liked Juvia's body and he enjoyed being seduced, but Juvia was the one even more addicted to physical contact and intimacy. He had won that round._

* * *

Gray couldn't help but chuckle over that memory. Not only had Juvia taken care of all the Christmas preparations herself. No, she had also given Gray a delicious treat that day. Once she had started to undress him she couldn't contain herself any more.

The ice wizard faced Juvia's face again, hardly able to suppress tears from filling his fluttering eyes.

"You know, you look ridiculous when you try to look all serious. You frown and you cross your arms - always. But you still have those big innocent eyes and we both know that whatever lame threat you speak you can't keep up to it yourself." Gray tittered again albeit his watery eyes.

"But I also know that, if you are serious about something, if someone hurts anyone you love or you're emotionally triggered, you become an animal. Do you remember the first time we fought? Your eyes were something completely different. Fearsome. Threatening. I had a hard time to keep up. And I think the only reason for me to win was because you somehow gave up."

Gray also remembered that day with all its details. The way Juvia had used to dress, to make herself up and wear her hair. She appeared distant, gloomy. Just like the rain that had fallen down on them.

But there was something about her. And it wasn't only for her water magic and their compatibility that Gray felt right away. If it had been anyone else who had threatened Lucy Gray would certainly not have stopped at the point where Juvia had lain on the ground. Though, as soon as the sky had cleared up her eyes had done the same. And the fight was over. Juvia passed out, beaten. She no longer was the enemy.

"I didn't believe you when you first told me that you loved me. It didn't make sense. We didn't know each other back then. You had no idea what I went through in my life and I didn't know of your history as well. You clung to me whenever we met, you made me feel very uncomfortable with all your advances and you were so jealous of all the Fairy Tail girls. But-"

It was then when the first tear left his eyes, slowly passing down his cheek and unto his folded hands. Yes, Juvia had been a pain in the ass in the beginning, embarrassing him many times. But she was also the first person to awaken feelings Gray didn't know he could have.

"But I don't know how, or why. Somehow you sneaked in."

* * *

 _January, thirteen months ago_

 _Team Natsu had finished a job and the gang was on their way towards Crocus' main station. In the meantime, as they had an hour left to spend there, the group split up to fulfill dirfferent interests. Erza, Lucy and Wendy went souvenir shopping and the guys searched for some snacks for the ride._

 _Natsu and Happy, immersed into chitchat, were ahead of Gray but stopped and turned to search for him when he didn't respond to an insult Natsu had made._

 _"Yo ice pants, what's takin' you so long?" Gray was glued to a shop window a few meters from them, still not reacting to Natsu's words. He gnashed his teeth and ran towards him. Man, he was hungry. How dare Gray slowed them down._

 _"Hey, earth to ice princess!", the fire mage yelled, waving a hand in front of Gray's face. And finally, he faced his friends and replied, though his voice was nothing angry alike because of Natsu's attack. Quite the opposite, he wore a pensive face._

 _"Hey Natsu, do you think Lucy's the one for you?" Natsu was caught off guard, utterly. Where did that come from? He blinked a few times but still couldn't get it._

 _"What?"_

 _"I mean, you wanna grow old with her, have a family and stuff, don't cha?" The pink haired man scratched the back of his head and struggled for words. Why the fuck would his friend start that kind of talk out of the blue? In the middle of a crowded pedestrian area of all places!_

 _"Yeah, sure. Never thought that far into the future, though." From the corner of his eye Natsu peeked at the store they were standing in front of. And that was when it hit him like one of Erza's strikes. It was a jewelry store and the items Gray had been staring at were wedding rings!_

 _"Wait, you wanna propose to Juvia?", Natsu exclaimed, eyes wide open, which irritated Gray and caused him to blush. What did Natsu know anyway? For a moment Gray thought of dropping the topic. But he wanted to consult him in that matter, the dragon slayer was his best friend after all._

 _"You think it's too early?"_

 _"No, it's just.. What do I say?"_ _Natsu was speechless again. After their tough mission all his systems had shut down. All he could think of was eat, sleep, eat, repeat. Nothing more, nothing less. And before he could even give Gray his opinion he cut him off._

 _"Yeah, it's too early to think about it, I know-" Gray was about to pass Natsu when he was grabbed by his shoulder._

 _"No! That's not it!" Anything regarding Juvia was important to Gray. He deserved an advice. So Natsu smiled and took his friend into a crushing hug._

 _"Maaan, congratulations! Of course it's not too early, go for it! I'm all fired up for you!" Apart from being so close to Natsu (because, man, had they ever been in such a close embrace?) it felt very supportive to have Natsu on his side. And thankfully, the girls were nowhere near. How would they have reacted? Gray didn't want to know..._

 _"Thanks." Still, hugging Natsu... for that long! Gray did a ten count but then decided enough was enough._

 _"Okay, stop the soppiness fire breath! Mind to back off?"_

 _"What are you sayin'? I'm just being a friend and hopefully your best man, you asshole!"_

* * *

Gray had reached the point where it was useless to fight his sobbing. Many tears ran down his tired face. Tired of ignorance. Numbness. Loneliness. His voice became fragile, faltering. He felt so useless.

"It's been a year now, Juvia. A full year." Twelve months earlier and Gray had called himself the luckiest man on earth. A gorgeous girl next to him everytime he woke up, dreams, a future. What he had left now was none of those things. What was left was the ring he had bought that day. He had brought it with him and pulled it out of his pants pocket. Looking down at it he covered the shiny little piece with his tears. The ring possessed a tiny pale pink colored stone, not a blue one. Gray knew Juvia liked that color as much as blue but hesitated to wear it more often since she persuaded herself it didn't go well with her hair. What bullshit Gray thought.

"I never had the chance to ask you. I got you a ring, but I could never ask you if you'd like to become Juvia Fullbuster."

The shivering man fiddled with the item in his hands. Juvia Fullbuster. The girl he loved so much in addition to his last name. What he'd give to experience that happening, his proposal, their wedding...

He compressed his eye lids for some seconds and clutched at the ring for support, though the steadily stream that wetted his cheeks continued nevertheless.

"I wish I could see your surprised face if I did. I bet you'd scream and jump on me. Or maybe you'd see it coming? You always knew me better than I did myself. I could live with a simple 'yes' as well. The main thing would be that we're together."

A regretful shiver ran down Gray's spine. He pictured that fateful night very well. That night when he had returned from a mission and promised to call as soon as he got back.

He had not called.

He had not listened to Juvia's voice mail.

He had kept her waiting.

"You've always been there for me. Always. And were was I when you needed me? This would have never happened. You wouldn't have taken that stupid mission, you would've never lost your memories to begin with if I had called you right away!"

"Why didn't I call you?", he spoke under his breath. It was a frequent question those past twelve months.

"Why?...", he sniveled. Gray wondered, had there ever been a time his emotions had run that wildly and uncontrollably? His face felt like he had caught a fever, eyes reddened and watery, a runny nose, torrid ears. Yet he was shaking all over. He hated his miserable life, his whole being and that very day for what was about to come. For what he had to do to set them free. For her, for himself. Which braught him back to that day when _it_ happened. When he had lost her once and for all.

"We were finally happy, you got your memories back, but..."

* * *

 _February, twelve months ago_

 _Gray opened the door to his and Juvia's apartment after a stressful mission. It was already past ten in the evening. But he knew his girlfriend. She'd wait for him with a delicious meal ready to be eaten up._

 _"Hey, I'm home. What's for dinner? I'm starving!"_

 _No response._

 _"Juvia?"_

 _Gray walked to the kitchen where he suspected Juvia to still prepare their dinner since she wasn't in the living room._

 _"Juv-"_

 _He caughed her right away. Collapsed on the floor. His eyes widened in horror._

 _"JUVIA!" He ran to her and took her by her shoulders, shaking her._

 _"HEY, WHAT'S WRONG? DO YOU HEAR ME?" Gray kept on shaking, praying she would open her eyes._

 _"WAKE UP, TALK TO ME!" For a moment the wizard stood still, motionless and clueless what to do._

 _"FUCK!"_

 _It all happened so fast, Gray only remembered puzzles of pictures afterwards. What he did recall was that he took Juvia's unconscious body to the hospital. That he screamed for help. That he sweated and shivered at the same time while carrying her. Someone took her, telling him to calm down. Which he didn't. He waited. For minutes, hours, days maybe. He didn't know. He walked up and down the hall. Scratched his head. Screamed again. He felt so much fear overwhelming him during that time. Something terrible was happening. He sensed it. And when a doctor came back, telling him she was still unconscious. And not only that. That there was nothing they could do to make her wake up again..._

 _His world broke apart._

 _He broke apart, fell down to his knees and passed out._

* * *

"They tell me to let go. That you will never wake up again."

Maravilla had predicted that there was the possibility for Juvia to not make it through her treatment. And that was exactly what had caused her to break down again after a few months of peace. The demage on her brain was simply to much to handle. Not only had she fallen into a coma, her brain functions had also given up to show any sign of work, she had been diagnosed brain-dead. The only thing left keeping her alive was the life support system that filled her lungs with air.

By that moment Gray had switched his seat, sitting on the bed next to Juvia. His left hand held hers while his other treasured the ring he had meant to put on her finger. The quiver in his voice had receded a bit and his eyes managed to control the waterfall that had come out from them. He still felt like throwing up at anytime, though.

"Yesterday I came back from a travel to our home in Amefurashi Village. You once asked me if I could picture us there, still together when we're old. I can. I even thought of having kids. Me! That's how you've changed me! You scared me everytime you spoke of your own family with me. I mean, who would plan to have more than ten kids?"

Juvia, of course. That was who she was after all. Gray squeezed her hand and faintly smiled at that thought. Yes, Juvia was a crazy escapist girl sometimes. But she was _his_ girl.

"Maybe one. Or two. I think I could do that. You'd be such a great mom. You always care so much about the people around you. You put them first. Always. I think with your help even I could be a good dad."

Gray thought of his old man's last words, that he had told him he was proud of his son. That he had grown into a fine man. And indeed he had. His friends, his Fairy Tail family had helped him, most of all - Juvia. To be happy. To accept himself and accept her love. He really wanted to become a dad himself one day, telling his kids how proud he was of them with a beautiful woman next to his side.

"But I want to have a family with you, only with you." The ice mage surveyed his partner once more. How would their kids look like? Blue and curly hair like hers? With bright blue eyes or a serious countenance like himself? He'd never know... And that discovery gnawed at him, tore his hear more apart if that was even possible.

"I destroyed it, though. The house. I could never live there on my own. Let alone with someone else..."

Gray opened his right fist to behold the ring. The path he had to take in order to get to the point where he loved someone as much as Juvia, trusting her completely, longing for her presence every single day. How was he able to do that again after losing another dear person? How could he let go of her and live on?

"You made me promise to seek happiness even if it means without you. I hate you for that!"

He eyed her again and his stare at her became more and more intense every second, his eyes darkened. Suddenly, he felt so angry and couldn't control what came out of his mouth, clearly not caring if anyone outside the room could hear him shout at a patient. Why was life so unfair?

"I FUCKIN' HATE YOU FOR IT, DO YOU HEAR ME?" Again, his eyes released a hot flow of tears and his grip on the ring and her hand tightened. It destroyed Gray that Juvia wouldn't respond to him, not replying to his crying nor his yelling. No matter what he'd do, she had left him with his sorrow and his promise to her, a hurtful and self-destructive bid.

"Why did you make me do that?! It's like you saw this coming..." Gray paused and his accusing manner stagnated. Of course he didn't hate Juvia. Still, he felt powerless, hopeless. And everytime he felt like that he lost his composure, particularly regarding Juvia.

"What if I forget what you smell like, what you look like, your voice?" Gray's anger had vanished and gave place to despair, causing his words to tremble anew.

"I don't want that! I'm not sure if I can keep that promise, Juvia." That day Gray had come to put an end to their situation - Juvia being nearer death than life and him suffering every moment without her. The earth would revolve on. So would Gray. Even without his girlfriend. He kept telling himself that. However, the ripping in his chest was still there and it would continue to be for a long time after.

"You're the one who made me a better person. Someone who's able to let people in."

Those words were intended to be part of his proposal. And as bizarre as it appeared, Gray decided to give Juvia the ring no matter if she would give him an answer or not. He sticked it on her finger, carefully as if her hand could get hurt. That ring belonged to her and her only.

"They are worried about me. Erza, Lucy, Natsu and the others. That I come here everyday. I don't drink as much as I used to like the first months after your collapse. Still,..."

Gray's vision captured the life system and the socket to his right side. One last task to pass he thought. He got up from his seat and put his hand against the back of the machine where its cable led to, his thumb lightly touching the plug that if removed would send Juvia to the other side. The doctors and master Makarov dedicated that duty to him. Even Gajeel agreed that it should be Gray to do it.

"They're right. I have to let you go, Juv. I-"

In the end Gray considered if all the deaths around him, his parents', his master's, now Juvia's... if they were determinate to happen. It was easier to think that way than to ask himself what he could have done differently. They had come to him, given him love and had gone for good, leaving him behind. Broken. Confused. Depressed. But also wiser, stronger, more mature. Even if a voice in his head wished for never ever meeting them from the beginning to spare him his grief. How could he ever regret meeting them? If anything he'd always hold on to each and every moment of joy he had made with all these people. Especially with Juvia.

"I love you so much. And this hurts so fucking badly." Gray's hand, the one holding on to the plug, was shaking. Not ready to draw it out. Not yet able to hinder the machine from raising Juvia's chest.

"It's like I'm abandoning you. But I'm thankful for everything you've done for me, for everytime you've been there for me. And I promise, I will never forget you. I will never forget us."

And then he faced the ground, taking a deep breath and shutting his eyes.

"I will always preserve those memories."

 _Click._

* * *

 **Okay, let me say this first: I do not apologize for this kind of ending. It was meant to end in a tragic way from the very beginning, I even made Gray narrate in first person in the first chapters to smooth the way.**

 **But some of you guys seemed to always looking forward to an happy ending. That's way I stopped these parts with present Gray to surprise you in the end. But. I took my time with the last two chapters. It was hard to write them but if anyone doesn't like this last chapter feel free to ignore it because the second last chapter should be a satisfying one too for those of you who wanted some happily ever after fluff.**

 **Anyway, I deeply thank all of you guys that followed this story, left reviews, favorited the story (that's pretty cool, hope you don't change your mind after this ending :P)**

 **Special thanks go to glodenglowingsnowdemon, Darkhope, Star197, siriuslight, Martygruvialover - you reviewed almost every single chapter, and your reviews supported me so much!**

 **See ya!**


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